Am I shallow for judging on looks alone
- Thread starter cb1737
- Start date
Physical appearance can open a door, but should be only one of many criteria upon which one looks for something to sustain.
We all are attracted to certain physical characteristics or even secondary sex characteristics as something that we find not only attractive but as something we find sexually arousing
I am now 56 years old heading for 57. I have learned to some degree that looks are a passing and fading or to be kind "evolving" thing.
A couple of years before his death, my Father made the statement: "Son, don't worry about age, it's gravity that gets you."
He for all practical matters is right.
Pecs that stand up high from hours in a gym start to sag as testosterone levels diminsh with age. Hairlines recede from either genetics or hormonal changes, hair turns gray, arms shrink and waistlines usually enlarge.
If one can grow older gracefully we do well. When we cannot accept the effects of age, we all lose in the end.
When I was in my mid twenties to early 30's I was evidentally pretty good. I dated and had relationships with several men who made good money modeling for "Rip Colt". I also in a different time and era had contacts and knew many in the porn business that then flourished in Southern California. Most of those who were in porn are gone now, and a few of the Colt models as well.
If you set yourself up to judge and place looks in too high of a level of emphasis, you set yourself up for disappointment with the passage of time.
It is not really wrong, it is something that has to be tempered with judgment.
I found out over time that there were men who had larger genitals than those who showed them off in front of a camera, there were men with larger and more muscular builds than those who modeled for Colt, and because I started looking more as I aged for the qualities that would sustain a relationship, I found my present life-partner. Physically there were some compromises made. Mentally he has exceeded all the others combined and as I get older, I spend less time looking at him, and more time cuddling with him in bed in front of a fireplace in the winter. Now, give me that time in front of the fireplace over animal sex. If you have the one, the other takes care of itself!
I have learned the value of the mental aspects and it was not easy for me to accept that this would be the case. I spent a number of years with a single status because I wanted this or that combined with this or that other thing. When I focused more on the mental than the physical aspects giving them a lower rung on the ladder is when I finally did meet "Mr. Right".
Good Luck.....
We all are attracted to certain physical characteristics or even secondary sex characteristics as something that we find not only attractive but as something we find sexually arousing
I am now 56 years old heading for 57. I have learned to some degree that looks are a passing and fading or to be kind "evolving" thing.
A couple of years before his death, my Father made the statement: "Son, don't worry about age, it's gravity that gets you."
He for all practical matters is right.
Pecs that stand up high from hours in a gym start to sag as testosterone levels diminsh with age. Hairlines recede from either genetics or hormonal changes, hair turns gray, arms shrink and waistlines usually enlarge.
If one can grow older gracefully we do well. When we cannot accept the effects of age, we all lose in the end.
When I was in my mid twenties to early 30's I was evidentally pretty good. I dated and had relationships with several men who made good money modeling for "Rip Colt". I also in a different time and era had contacts and knew many in the porn business that then flourished in Southern California. Most of those who were in porn are gone now, and a few of the Colt models as well.
If you set yourself up to judge and place looks in too high of a level of emphasis, you set yourself up for disappointment with the passage of time.
It is not really wrong, it is something that has to be tempered with judgment.
I found out over time that there were men who had larger genitals than those who showed them off in front of a camera, there were men with larger and more muscular builds than those who modeled for Colt, and because I started looking more as I aged for the qualities that would sustain a relationship, I found my present life-partner. Physically there were some compromises made. Mentally he has exceeded all the others combined and as I get older, I spend less time looking at him, and more time cuddling with him in bed in front of a fireplace in the winter. Now, give me that time in front of the fireplace over animal sex. If you have the one, the other takes care of itself!
I have learned the value of the mental aspects and it was not easy for me to accept that this would be the case. I spent a number of years with a single status because I wanted this or that combined with this or that other thing. When I focused more on the mental than the physical aspects giving them a lower rung on the ladder is when I finally did meet "Mr. Right".
Good Luck.....
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Agree with these comments..was thinking the same. After a conversation with an intellegent, humorous, charasmatic personality, I begin to notice the attractive details of their looks, I may not have noticed at first sight. A twinkle in the eyes, sexy mouth with a great smile, masculine hands etc.
If a guy like this shows interest in me, then he becomes even more attractive, despite deviations from my ideal of physical attractiveness.
