Am I special or just another dumbfuck?

Discussion in 'Et Cetera, Et Cetera' started by BigPoppaFury, Sep 3, 2006.

  1. BigPoppaFury

    BigPoppaFury Member

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    I'm a humble guy, I understand that the big picture dictates that I know nothing at all. I understand that my contribution to society is minimal and that in 200 years I will be entirely forgotten. There are a million people out there whose feet I am not worthy to kiss.

    I rise above stupidity pretty much 100% of the time, I'm calm, I'm friendly, I'm an adult and I know better. So why doesn't it stop the fantasies of brutally teaching these dumb pricks a lesson? Why does it feel worse knowing that I'm physically more than capable of doing so?

    For the place I grew up I'm almost a rarity, I'd rather think than use my fists. I know I'm better than most of the kids I went to school with. I stayed away from drugs, I stayed away from violence and crime. I didn't have a kid with a one night stand when I was 15. I treat people with respect and I hold down a steady job and bring in more money than my minimal qualifications would suggest I could. My one liners are usually funny, I'm quiet but confident, I'm no Brad Pitt and I could lose some weight but I know I'm attractive. Infact sometimes I'm convinced that every girl that passes is eyeing me up. In short, I like myself.

    So why do I feel my opinion means less than anyone else's? Why do I have those moments of feeling like I'm the centre of attention and loving it yet a matter of days later feel like I'm a complete dick? Why can't I just find a happy middle ground?

    Will I find it with age? Do other people my age feel the same? Is it natural that I don't feel I've acheived anything even when other people say I should be proud? Is it bad that sometimes I look down on these people for not seeing how insignificant I really am? Why do I feel angry that people are so quick to congratulate me for what amounts to nothing more than big-fish-in-small-pond accomplishments?

    Do I have a superiority complex, an inferiority complex, neither or both?
     
  2. Mr. Snakey

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    My friend your opinion matters! You are only 27 years old. You have your whole life ahead of you From what i can see in your avatar you seem to be a nice looking guy From your posts i have read you seem bright! Life isnt easy One thing i can tell you is that you have to love yourself. Be at peace with yourself, who you are Sometimes it takes people a while till they feel comfortable in their own skin It took me a while too If you ever want to chat or pm me Im here Something tells me you are a real nice guy, but you dont know that:smile:
     
  3. B_Stronzo

    B_Stronzo New Member

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    You have neither. And you are neither.


    You're complex quite simply put. I'd not trade ages with your for "love nor money" BPF but I can tell you that with what I've witnessed on this board from your corner is the considered opinion of a thoughtful man. That's pretty impressive alone but add to it that you've helped restore my faith in the heterosexuals in our midst and I say you're on the right track.

    I think what you say and feel does have import in the long range. Contributions vary. Don't sell indiviudal influence too short. It can be profound.

    I'm going to be overtly gay here and lump you in with us light-loafered ones long enough to quote the timeless words of Auntie Mame. I think you'll get the gist of it:

    "Life's a banquet and most poor suckers are starving to death"

    Platitudinous but true I think.

    You've already decided to grab a plate and step up to the considerable smorgasbord. Dig in. God knows what you'll find but whatever it is it'll be better than what some dolt who just ambles through life will experience.

    Here's to you. And all the best. :cool:
     
  4. fortiesfun

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    Existential angst is, I'm sorry to say, pretty common these days. Experiencing it makes you profound, but not really odd.

    As for the age question, I can't believe I am recommending this, but if you haven't read PASSAGES you should. You are expressing the exact thing the book says you will feel at your age.
     
  5. madame_zora

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    Finding a place of comfort, moderation, reality and self esteem is a lifelong search, you will not arrive. I find as I get older and have more of the "perspective" I yearned for when I was younger, I find I just have different issues revealed to me of which I was formerly unaware. It's progress though to even recognise them, and I try to base my self esteem on how I handle the challenege, not the infrequency of challenges.

    We live side by side with others, many of whom will never even undertake such self-scrutiny though, and that is frustrating. I think the average person looks to external parameters to measure themselves against, usually bars set pretty low to achieve comfort. I loathe them implicitly, but hey- someone has to do the grunt work, even culturally. The fact that you're examining yourself AND asking a group of people, presumable some of whom you respect, for advice speaks volumes about your character. Yes, you will get to know yourself better as you get older, but then you will discover things you don't like, as well as things you have just outgrown. The need for periodic personal overhauls doesn't go away.
     
  6. jfrsndvs

    jfrsndvs Member

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    I have never considered you a dumbfuck, you are a decent guy, a good looking one at that, just be who you are, don't put too much thought about yesterday, you can't change yesterday, you can only focus on today and work on tomorrow.

    as you get older and experience life more, you will have move prospective on yourself.

    you have the smarts, it shows in your postings, you have compassion too, and you have some standards for yourself, you have some damn good qualities about you, be proud of that my good man, you are well liked and respected here on this board, as I am sure it's like that in the real world for you.

    you mentioned you bring in more money than your qualifications, you are lucky on that, so many people are underpaid for their qualifications, are you satisfied with your job? if now, maybe it's time for find something to your liking.

    for what it's worth, I see no need for you to change, give yourself some time, and things will fall into place for you.
     
  7. Lex

    Lex
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    I always have immense respect for people who question themselves. As Zora said, it is a never ending journey. Questions without answers keep us seeking.
     
  8. mephistopheles

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    I used to feel the same way as you.

    Somedays I thought I was the ruler of the world, then the next i felt like i was just another scumfuck. but after so many years of feeling like this I just stopped caring. So what, I am a scumfuck, I'm cool with that, and i dont care if anyone has any hangups about it.

    I live life how I want, I'm not concerned with the "American Dream" or making a lot of money. I can be perfectly content without all that shit. I do what i want, when I want, how I want, to who I want and it works out pretty fucking good for another dumb scumfuck like me.

    The question is "Why do I feel my opinion means less" it should be, "why do i give a fuck what anyone at all thinks about my opinion. Live life for yourself. To me it sounds like you have some strange mixture of an inferiority complex and a superiority complex, maybe you're a hotshot with low self esteem. You know that you're a great guy(in whatever way you think you are) but at the same time you feel that you're "greatnes" is unseen by those around you.

    Don't give a fuck, I don't.
     
  9. rawbone8

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    Hey BigPoppaFury
    Your post reminded me of a period when I was feeling unsure, trying to get my bearings after a collision with a brutal hit of reality, so to speak. Here's a poem a friend passed to me.


    Who's Who

    A shilling life will give you all the facts:
    How Father beat him, how he ran away,
    What were the struggles of his youth, what acts
    Made him the greatest figure of his day;
    Of how he fought, fished, hunted, worked all night,
    Though giddy, climbed new mountains; named a sea;
    Some of the last researchers even write
    Love made him weep his pints like you and me.

    With all his honours on, he sighed for one
    Who, say astonished critics, lived at home;
    Did little jobs about the house with skill
    And nothing else; could whistle; would sit still
    Or potter round the garden; answered some
    Of his long marvellous letters but kept none.

    Wystan Hugh Auden
     
  10. Heather LouAnna

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    I can't relate. I don't question my actions, as I know exactly why I do them, even the not-so-healthy decisions. Don't worry about what others think. Your opinion is the only one that matters in everything. If you stay pure and clear of mind then nothing can stop you in your actions.

    Don't worry about being happy either. A sparrow doesn't worry about being happy. A sparrow doesn't understand words and doesn't experience consciousness and reason the same way we do. That doesn't mean that the bird is any farther from enlightenment than we.

    Don't feel angry.
    Don't feel frustrated.
    Do not feel insignificant.

    You matter and make a difference, but only truly to yourself. Isn't that enough? You've no way to really udnerstand what other people are thinking, saying, doing. Words are inert, and them explaining anything to you, or you them, can't possibly be grasped in it's fullest. As far as you know, your thoughts are the only pure things in the world. Don't worry about other people unless they are benefiting you. Do nothing for anyone unless it's yourself. Be selfish.
     
  11. B_dxjnorto

    B_dxjnorto New Member

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    We all have our ups and downs. If you want to get rid of the ups and downs you can get on antidepressants, but most people prefer their own neurotransmitters to pharmaceutical substitutes and their cheaper variants, self-medication (substance abuse).

    I just read today that J.K. Rowling was rejected by every publisher in England, not because they didn't like The Philosopher's Stone, but because they thought her core market would be teenage boys who wouldn't want to read a book by a woman. (Is sexism a problem where you're from?) Today J.K. is supposedly the second richest woman in England, after the Queen. (After a U.S. publisher printed her book.)

    I've been trying to change careers lately and had an unsuccessful job search so far. I think if you just never give up then you make things change for the better, but there's no guarantee (and I've never been highly motivated).
     
  12. Lordpendragon

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    Keep setting yourself higher/harder goals. And loose those extra pounds, lardy.
     
  13. bree

    bree New Member

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    As for your questions ::

    Felling your opinion i meanless than other -- Well i beg to differ on that.. I seems your opinion has gotten someone out of a very back situation.. Something it seems would not have occurred if you would not have spoken up...

    I'm sure you fell great hanging with friends feeing like you are on top of the world and then coming back to the was of the real world... We as people all have these mood swings... It will be there forever i think..


    I would love for you to except all the thing you have already accomplished in your life...You music that drives you... Enjoy... You are great and it is a dream that can come true... You are in a very good job one that helps you reach the goal that is in your head...


    Sure you will find grace with age... You will find that things in life are always changing and you roll with the punches..

    You my friend are always seeing the glass half full only when it comes to you...But you help others. Pumping someone up with your understanding , style, and you do have some grace..

    For someone who does not think highly of his opinion you sure did go out of your way for a young woman.. Without really knowing her well you went out of your way to have your opinion known.. It was a
    great and wonderful thing that you did... Life is so precious and you have saved one..Pat yourself on the back for that one.. You have made her life and my a very happy one and i just want to thank you from the bottom of my heart... You are a very special man.. You are strong, deep, understanding, knowledgeable, hardworking, kind, considerate,loving, and i am glad that i know you ...
     
  14. Matthew

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    You have a reality complex. More people should get one. Most of us would benefit from the dose of reality that comes from understanding our place in the broader scheme of things.

    That said, many of the people around you surely could stand to learn a few lessons from you. As you have pointed out, pounding them into submission isn't usually the best way to teach, either for you or them. Showing a counterexample by living it is often the most effective way. As far as the unmerited congratulations, I think you just smile and let them pass. Sometimes a compliment is more important for the giver.

    I do think you will find more balance with age. But that's definitely not a cure for everything. Some parts of life will always be perplexing. No matter what age you are, you can decide the way you move through the world is going to be righteous, do your best to figure out what that means, put your beliefs into action and walk proud.
     
  15. D_Sheffield Thongbynder

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    I don't like to dispense bromides like Dr. Phil, but from what I have observed of you through posts, you have so much going for you that I feel confident your angst won't be long-lived. Every post in this thread offered perceptive thoughts, and you've already accomplished many of the the hard steps in your journey. John
     
  16. BigPoppaFury

    BigPoppaFury Member

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    Thank you all for your replies! I have to leave for work in literally one minute so I'll just address a couple of things:

    I'm happy! Please don't misunderstand this as a cry for help and don't mistake me for a depressed guy. My post is more a series of "whats this all about?" questions.

    I know I'm a good guy- thanks for the compliments but it's not what I was looking for :smile: I know I'm not a dumbfuck either! The title of the post was meant to be a little humourous, I guess I fucked that one up :wink:

    My final question was possibly the most important one and perhaps I should have weighted the post a little more towards it. I really do feel at times like I have superiority AND inferiority complexes running along side each other and I just wanted to see if anyone else could identify with that.

    Thanks again!
     
  17. Gillette

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    None of us are ever truly a paragon or pariah. As M. Zora stated questioning ourselves is something that we do throughout our lives, and as we change so do the questions.

    You've always come across as a well balanced individual. I wish there were more like you.
     
  18. DC_DEEP

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    I've been a big fan of yours since you joined this forum. I have much more to say on this, but am getting ready for an out-of-country guest and a road trip, so I don't have time now... I'll be back in about 10 days or so, and you'd better be prepared.
     
  19. Gillette

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    We posted at the same time so I missed seeing this until after I'd submitted mine.

    Yes, I can identify with it. I have days when I alternate from feeling like I could change the world to feeling like I have the significance of an ant.

    I think it's a normal part of life to swing between the two somewhat. It only becomes a problem when we are convinced that one or the other is the unswerving truth.
     
  20. davidjh7

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    You have intellegence, and enough wisdom be introspective. Simple as that. The people you grew up with, who you are using as a comparison yardstick, apparently do not. They may be happier, who knows--ignorance is bliss, as they say. I'll relate the results of a psychological survey, analysing abilities, my mother took long ago, with the following results" You are highly intellegent, you have the ability to study situations and find solutions. You have the ability to leap tall buildings and walk on water--you just can;t understand why everybody ELSE can't do the same thing". You have alot more going for you than most of those around you--and you realize that, which leads to a certain level of superiority. But you have enough humility, and lack of arrogance, to realize that on the grander scale, you have no more inherent worth than the rest of humanity--this leads to the feelings of inferiority . It is a dichotomy. You see it, and question it, and wonder why. Welcome to the wonderful world of intellegent thought and anaytical philosophy. You are in great company, but sadly, nobody has found any decent answers yet. Maybe you'll be the first.:smile:
     
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