hypolimnas
Superior Member
I understand that my contribution to society is minimal and that in 200 years I will be entirely forgotten.
Well I think that this is your fundamental crisis, it reflects a crisis within contemporary culture about the nature of masculinity, and its place in today's world. My view is that part of being a man is to contribute to the broader well being of our families and/or communities. Yes, your contribution may currently be judged as minimal, and insignificant in the light of eternity, but is that any reason not to be inspired?
My final comments below are about how you are at a point of change in moving from a kind of late adolescent world into a new world of stepping up to become a man that will happen as you enter your 30s.
So why doesn't it stop the fantasies of brutally teaching these dumb pricks a lesson?
Well is is a good question, how can anger become a driver for change? And what kind of change is worth investing your energy in?
I treat people with respect and I hold down a steady job and bring in more money than my minimal qualifications would suggest I could.
Ok but you are also blessed with a discontent that says you can do more, you can aspire to greater things, you have the capacity to question. You have the ability to strive for more, and say "no this is not good enough, the way my life is now is not enough for me. I have the capacity and the appetite to test myself further".
Why do I have those moments of feeling like I'm the centre of attention and loving it yet a matter of days later feel like I'm a complete dick?
Because it's probably true.
Why can't I just find a happy middle ground?
I believe you will find a kind of certainty, it won't be the boring middle ground. It will be an increasingly clearer vision of how you can lead a challenging, and more fulfiiling, purposeful life. This will come as you move into your 30s. The best thing to do know is to see as much of the world as you can. Meet as many people who are leading interesting/different lives that you can take something positive from.
Will I find it with age?
Not necessarily, most people are too lazy, too selfish, and too boring. But I believe you could. Many great people come from ordinary backgrounds, the only thing that distinguishes them is that they will say "no, what exists now is not good enough, I expect more of myself, my peers, my community, and of life itself".
Is it natural that I don't feel I've acheived anything even when other people say I should be proud?
Most people are mediocre, yes there are people who believe it is their democratic right to be dull, ignorant, stupid and selfish. They are living life as an innocent bystander, rather than an active participant.
Is it bad that sometimes I look down on these people for not seeing how insignificant I really am?
Well I'd say it would perhaps be better to have compassion for them, they don't have the ability to question bland, boring and mediocre. But this is only true if you can rise above them, otherwise you will simply become one of them.
Why do I feel angry that people are so quick to congratulate me for what amounts to nothing more than big-fish-in-small-pond accomplishments?
Well it is probably a frustration within yourself that you are on the edge of stepping up into a new phase of your life but the pathway for you is not yet clear.
Do I have a superiority complex, an inferiority complex, neither or both?
You question the nature of reality. In fact both are an illusion. You have potential to be a greater person than you are. You recognise this. At your age these questions are very common. They will lead you to a very important new phase of your life.
In your late 20s all the hopes and dreams you had in your late teens are either a reality, or going to become increasingly hard to realise. In fact some doors may now be closed to you that once were open to you. This is very common in your late twenties, and I believe there is some research around on anxiety and depression issues specific to this "dilemma" at your stage of life.
Given that what you have now is some level of disappointment and frustration, the key for the next decade of you life is to find the strategies, identify your resources, build relationships with successful people who inspire you, and find the community context for you to lead a life that will bring you the fulfillment you need, knowing that you have truly lived a puposeful life. This is, so that in some way, you will be able to say yes I found a purpose for my life, in my own way I made a difference, it is a life worth living. I found a way to become more like the person I truly am.
The question is also one of faith. Research does show that depressed people are more realistic about life. Do you have the faith to hope, to be "unrealistic", to refuse to settle for the mundane? Can you find belief in yourself to take risks, and aspire to a more challenging life, that is increasingly purposeful?
For now you might be a special dumbfuck, but I think you'll be glorious.:wink:
Well I think that this is your fundamental crisis, it reflects a crisis within contemporary culture about the nature of masculinity, and its place in today's world. My view is that part of being a man is to contribute to the broader well being of our families and/or communities. Yes, your contribution may currently be judged as minimal, and insignificant in the light of eternity, but is that any reason not to be inspired?
My final comments below are about how you are at a point of change in moving from a kind of late adolescent world into a new world of stepping up to become a man that will happen as you enter your 30s.
So why doesn't it stop the fantasies of brutally teaching these dumb pricks a lesson?
Well is is a good question, how can anger become a driver for change? And what kind of change is worth investing your energy in?
I treat people with respect and I hold down a steady job and bring in more money than my minimal qualifications would suggest I could.
Ok but you are also blessed with a discontent that says you can do more, you can aspire to greater things, you have the capacity to question. You have the ability to strive for more, and say "no this is not good enough, the way my life is now is not enough for me. I have the capacity and the appetite to test myself further".
Why do I have those moments of feeling like I'm the centre of attention and loving it yet a matter of days later feel like I'm a complete dick?
Because it's probably true.
Why can't I just find a happy middle ground?
I believe you will find a kind of certainty, it won't be the boring middle ground. It will be an increasingly clearer vision of how you can lead a challenging, and more fulfiiling, purposeful life. This will come as you move into your 30s. The best thing to do know is to see as much of the world as you can. Meet as many people who are leading interesting/different lives that you can take something positive from.
Will I find it with age?
Not necessarily, most people are too lazy, too selfish, and too boring. But I believe you could. Many great people come from ordinary backgrounds, the only thing that distinguishes them is that they will say "no, what exists now is not good enough, I expect more of myself, my peers, my community, and of life itself".
Is it natural that I don't feel I've acheived anything even when other people say I should be proud?
Most people are mediocre, yes there are people who believe it is their democratic right to be dull, ignorant, stupid and selfish. They are living life as an innocent bystander, rather than an active participant.
Is it bad that sometimes I look down on these people for not seeing how insignificant I really am?
Well I'd say it would perhaps be better to have compassion for them, they don't have the ability to question bland, boring and mediocre. But this is only true if you can rise above them, otherwise you will simply become one of them.
Why do I feel angry that people are so quick to congratulate me for what amounts to nothing more than big-fish-in-small-pond accomplishments?
Well it is probably a frustration within yourself that you are on the edge of stepping up into a new phase of your life but the pathway for you is not yet clear.
Do I have a superiority complex, an inferiority complex, neither or both?
You question the nature of reality. In fact both are an illusion. You have potential to be a greater person than you are. You recognise this. At your age these questions are very common. They will lead you to a very important new phase of your life.
In your late 20s all the hopes and dreams you had in your late teens are either a reality, or going to become increasingly hard to realise. In fact some doors may now be closed to you that once were open to you. This is very common in your late twenties, and I believe there is some research around on anxiety and depression issues specific to this "dilemma" at your stage of life.
Given that what you have now is some level of disappointment and frustration, the key for the next decade of you life is to find the strategies, identify your resources, build relationships with successful people who inspire you, and find the community context for you to lead a life that will bring you the fulfillment you need, knowing that you have truly lived a puposeful life. This is, so that in some way, you will be able to say yes I found a purpose for my life, in my own way I made a difference, it is a life worth living. I found a way to become more like the person I truly am.
The question is also one of faith. Research does show that depressed people are more realistic about life. Do you have the faith to hope, to be "unrealistic", to refuse to settle for the mundane? Can you find belief in yourself to take risks, and aspire to a more challenging life, that is increasingly purposeful?
For now you might be a special dumbfuck, but I think you'll be glorious.:wink:
