Am I Too Nice To My One Night Stands?

oldguyontinder

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Like a lot of men, I am really into meeting women on tinder and other apps for casual sex. While I am a huge fan of meaningless sex, I also have certain gentlemanly things that I always do for my dates, I bring them a damp washcloth after I ejaculate on/in them, offer to let them use my shower and have nice clean towels (as well as new toothbrushes for them), have a variety of beverages and snack for them to enjoy post coitus, give back rubs, if it’s late or they seem tired I will encourage them to spend the night and make them breakfast the next morning, and if they didn’t drive themselves over I will offer to get them an Uber.

Lately a lot of my (male and female) friends have started calling me a “simp” and a wuss for the way I treat my casual female partners. My thought is that if women are treated with kindness and respect after having casual sex with a stranger, they will want to do it on a regular basis, and if more women are open to casual sex then we all win.
 

Sagittarius84

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I feel like the need of a damp cloth to wipe off mutually enjoyed ejaculate automatically disqualifies any moniker of "simp"..lol
In this gender disphoria some terms with specific meaning are unfortunately being applied towards behaviors that aren't deserving. To simp or to engage in simpish behavior would have your Tinder dates having no sexual activity or contact whatsoever, but you repeating the same behaviors with no sexual reciprocity.
It is kind of a pipe dream to think your behaviors with women that opted for casual sex with you are going to have any type of bearing upon their sexual choices in the future, but I don't think that's a negative naiveté to have.
 

swingfun

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I don't see anything wrong with treating someone you just had casual sex with with a little respect and niceties. Years ago when I was in to the whole FWB or casual sex I always tried to treat the ladies with respect. I offered to let them stay the night,use the shower or just sleep afterwards. Sometimes it was off to IHOP for a bite to eat. I know I wouldn't want to be tossed out afterwards like a piece of garbage.
 

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Nothing wrong with being hospitable to a woman you've just had sex with, even if it is casual sex.

I'd say your behavior probably makes your friends feel like crap, because they don't treat their casual sex partners like you do. That's their problem not yours.

Keep doing what you're doing.
 

oldguyontinder

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Nothing wrong with being hospitable to a woman you've just had sex with, even if it is casual sex.

I'd say your behavior probably makes your friends feel like crap, because they don't treat their casual sex partners like you do. That's their problem not yours.

Keep doing what you're doing.

This might be true, but it’s funny because most of them are “happily” married. I think they are jealous.
 
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Sunman_Universe

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Is this person now banned? I think that's above and beyond for one night stands. However, the OP was raised right and I appreciate that in other humans.
 

Scarletbegonia

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Is this person now banned? I think that's above and beyond for one night stands. However, the OP was raised right and I appreciate that in other humans.
Yes, a strike through is banned.

for any others who might relate to the OP, being a decent fucking human (really a washcloth, how above and beyond) isn’t really going to get a bunch of women too smart for casual to do casual. It might get a casual to stay around long enough to become a friend.
 
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Sunman_Universe

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Yes, a strike through is banned.

for any others who might relate to the OP, being a decent fucking human (really a washcloth, how above and beyond) isn’t really going to get a bunch of women too smart for casual to do casual. It might get a casual to stay around long enough to become a friend.
Thanks for the confirmation about the strike-through.
I was being sarcastic. Sorry you didn't pick up on that. Most people don't expect to see that person again. Thus the general poor treatment associated with the practice.
The difference between the OP and a fvck-buddy is any emotional attachment. Developing an intimate relationship (Whatever the parameters) is the opposite of one-night stands.
 

seventiesdemon

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Being polite is as scarce as hens teeth these days. Like most basics of life it, they are never taught. People wonder why the world is becoming the way it is.

If the basics are left out, not being taught, don't start off on the right footing. It's never going to work out.

Even holding a shovel, digging a hole has it's secrets to not make it so backbreaking. Growing up it was just one of those basics kids were taught. Give a lot of young a shovel, a pick, an axe these days. You are placing their lives in danger :)

Being polite has it's limits though. At times you'll need to be firm if your politeness is taken advantage of. I could have been more firm when young, thinking back.
 

josh20hung

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My hookups (male or female) will get a cloth after to clean up, and then will get rushed out after. This might make me seem like an ass ... but I'm definitely not trying to make them breakfast the next morning. I cum .. you go!
 

oldguyontinder

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My hookups (male or female) will get a cloth after to clean up, and then will get rushed out after. This might make me seem like an ass ... but I'm definitely not trying to make them breakfast the next morning. I cum .. you go!

well when I top a guy, which isn’t that often anymore, they are asked to leave immediately once I finish.
 

elklindoxxx

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Like a lot of men, I am really into meeting women on tinder and other apps for casual sex. While I am a huge fan of meaningless sex, I also have certain gentlemanly things that I always do for my dates, I bring them a damp washcloth after I ejaculate on/in them, offer to let them use my shower and have nice clean towels (as well as new toothbrushes for them), have a variety of beverages and snack for them to enjoy post coitus, give back rubs, if it’s late or they seem tired I will encourage them to spend the night and make them breakfast the next morning, and if they didn’t drive themselves over I will offer to get them an Uber.

Lately a lot of my (male and female) friends have started calling me a “simp” and a wuss for the way I treat my casual female partners. My thought is that if women are treated with kindness and respect after having casual sex with a stranger, they will want to do it on a regular basis, and if more women are open to casual sex then we all win.
Generally speaking for a one night stand, when you are done with business then it's time to go. When me and my partner are done with another couple, usually within 30 minuter to an hour we are gone. We are not going to stick around, that just gets awkward.

Now after you cum all over someone at least have the courtesy to at least get them a towel to clean off or escort them to the bathroom to get washed up.
 

LOVE_MMFs

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Nothing wrong with what the OP wrote about doing. I think letting a hookup stay the night and making them breakfast is going above and beyond basic courtesy but it’s a nice thing to offer if one is inclined to do so. On the other hand, not rushing them out the door immediately after, giving them an opportunity to get cleaned up, and helping them get a ride back to their place if they need it are all just part of being a decent human being, in my opinion.