Am I wrong for this?

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by ulube08, May 7, 2011.

  1. ulube08

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    Ok so im not the type of guy to pretend to be a certain way to impress people n i dont like spending my time with people i have a low opinion of.

    Well i recently started hanging out with this girl who i quickly found out was less than intelligent. Now my attraction to someone is very closely related to my opinion of them so idk if i didnt find her attractive because she wasnt attractive or because i thought she was stupid, ignorant, closedminded. Its not that im specific about what i think a girl should look like, but i am specific about what i think a girls personality SHOULDNT be (any person for that matter).

    Anyway we did have fun with each other at first, but then we got into deeper conversations and i found myself being less and less comfortable around her.

    From all of that you can guess that i dont surround myself with a ton of people just for the company, i can entertain myself probably better than most, but being alone gets boring and it sucks having no one who makes the effort to be around. I have trouble abandoning my convictions for popularity, not that i think im wrong for that, so heres the question:

    isnt it wrong for me to hide my motives from someone if i think itll help get what i want from them? especially in a case where i feel like that person shouldnt be the target of that motive in the first place?
     
  2. Joseph

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    I think you should not go deeper into this. You shouldn't get into relationships which you know won't work.
     
  3. PunkJohn

    PunkJohn New Member

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    if you think it won't hurt someone, go for it!
     
  4. ulube08

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    well this is more of a philosophical question than a situational one...

    honestly im just looking for someone to tell me that it is wrong n give me reasoning that will solidify my own cuz the grim state of things is showing unexpected longevity n im starting to doubt my own logic n philosophies
     
  5. jpk338

    jpk338 Well-Known Member

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    acceptance is the key. just accept people the way they are. i think you are being too judgemental. learn to accept yourself first and then others. i reason i feel i can say this is i go through the same feelings. i like people who are smart in the common sense way .not book smart. i have a neighbor who is a member of mensa and she couldn/t find her way out of a paper bag if she had to. good luck and don't think too much:biggrin1:
     
  6. Gecko4lif

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    So basically acting likely anything other than a love struck poodle? Do your thing dude. If you fee guilty then it obviously isnt the life style for you.

    Personally there isnt anything wrong with knowing exactly what you want from a specific interactions. They are called goals.
     
  7. helgaleena

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    You say you can't have a conversation with her. If it makes you uncomfortable to simply be around her, leave. If you are comfortable around her doing other things than talk, simply do other things and skip the talk.

    It all hinges on whether you are at ease in her presence enough to accept her shortcomings. If that basic chemistry is there, it's there and you will put up with plenty. If the basic chemistry is not there, constant annoyance will build up and drive you off.
     
  8. SprinkleMe69

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    Well....you lost me half way through your post. But I will sum it up like this...you didn't click to begin with so why venture further? Cut your losses now.
     
  9. rainbowknight

    rainbowknight New Member

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    ...also, I am getting the vibe that there is some thing that keeps you coming back, there is a bond that you do not feel comfortable breaking. What is it?

    Ever see the episode of "Family Guy" when Brian and Jillian break up? This is kind of he same thing. No one is really "unintelligent" as we think they are. Talk and work it out to ease your mind and avert a bad situation.
     
  10. D_Gallalye Goodlolly

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    i have known men who hung out with women with less honorable intentions than urs i.e for sex alone.....if its tht u're lonely and u need to talk to someone but she's not intelligent enuff,hang around her for the company,you might find substance at the end.who knows it might be that she acts silly and talk unintelligently infront of you cos she 's smitten with you. u have to take the ride , even if u find out she is still tht dumb,gently wean her/yourself off each other so you can look for a better suited partner.
     
  11. dolfette

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    if being with her makes you happy, i say screw your set-in-stone ideas of who you should be with. sometimes life surprises us.

    if you're just with her because you want someone around, i say stop being a twat.
     
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