ok well, i have a GF. when things are good they are the best times in the world. when they are bad, they are not incredibly bad, and in no ways relationship ending, but they do far outweigh the good times (in my opinion anyway). in my mind, i startmost of these arguments, if not all. she says i dont but i think she is just being kind. the arguments are usually petty and usually me being pathetic. i have a natural fear of missing out. its why i have to be the last one asleep in a house full of friends even when im painfully tired and its why i dont commit to doing things too soon. this week she was invited to a party with her friends. i am usually invited too but this time i wasnt. the friend whose party it was an i dont get on too well. i was a bit down all week because i had alot of work deadlines and this party meant i had nothing to do all weekend because i had to stay in saturday "today" and friday, there was nothing going on. i accepted this on friday and told her to go have a good time and forget about me being alone as i probably would feel better havi8ng a good sleep and everything. then i do get invited out last thing by a friend to a local club and such and i have a good time. any normal person would be happy and then tell his GF that he had a good time and hoped she did too. so, why did i be all ahppy to her texting on the phone in the morning only to act the way i did all week wheh we spoke on msn in the evening? why did i try and make her feel bad about going out? i make petty arguments like this alot. like if a friend comes out with us and takes up alot of her attention ill make her feel bad about it. this evening it got a head and i told her if she split from me, in the mood i was in, i probably wouldnt feel bad. and i told her im not sure if i can change forever. (last time this happened, i went to being good and now ive reverted) she said she'd think. i really dont want to kleave this girl as she pretty much saved me by going out with me because i was very depressed and things. when we are good, everyone says they are jealous and would love a relationship like we have because we are like best friends. why do i take this girl for granted? she really doesnt deserve it. my question is really, how can i change? can i stop myself being selfish?