an old friend

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by putputt00, Feb 9, 2010.

  1. putputt00

    putputt00 Member

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    I just got back in touch with my high school friend, We were really good friends and could talk to each other about a lot of things. He is straight i think, and he thinks i am straight. I really want to tell him that I have a have a thing for him. He was so cute, he has hazel eyes and light skin complection, I'm not a bad looking person to. But I just want to tell him how I feel about him without freaking him out and scaring him off. We only talked on the phone twice since I found him again. What should I do?????????:confused:
     
  2. Florida Boy

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    You're 23 y/o. How long has it been since you lost contact? What did you talk about since you 'found' him again? Do you still love close? These are some of the factors to consider.
     
  3. putputt00

    putputt00 Member

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    its been 5 yrs since graduation, we talked about how everything's been and all we didn't talk about relationships and stuff, he still lives in the same state but not in the same county, he is pretty laid back.
     
  4. putputt00

    putputt00 Member

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    he was very happy to talk to me again to
     
  5. CUBE

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    I would tell him you are out. I wouldn't go further then that until you see how that goes
     
  6. putputt00

    putputt00 Member

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    i'm just afraid of scaring him off, I don't want to ruin anything
     
  7. buzzrider7

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    If you're going to stay in touch and rekindle your friendship, then ease into it slowly. There was a guy I was head-over-heels in love with during and just after high school. We used to work together. It seemed like barely a moment went by when I wasn't thinking of him for a good year or two. I looked him up and got back in touch two years ago (15 years later). He wasn't close by, so I figured I had nothing to loose. I finally told him all the things I wanted to tell him so badly back then, like how much I thought of him, how much he meant to me, and how he was the blazing core of my world for the few years we worked together. It turns out he is into guys (I never knew then), but that he actually had a crush on a different guy that we worked with. He was a bit shocked, but nice about it. He didn't correspond for more than a few emails. I'm pretty sure it freaked him out. But, it was one of the most cathartic experiences of my life to finally say all those things that had built up in me for so long, so even though we're not in touch now because of it, I'm glad I did it.
     
  8. putputt00

    putputt00 Member

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    cool I think I am going to get the guts and tell him next time I talk to him.
     
  9. funnyguy

    funnyguy Active Member

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    Keep us posted and good luck
     
  10. MC1000

    MC1000 Member

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    If you don't do it now you may never have the chance again. As you get older your life may be filled with ALOT of regret over missed opprotunities. I still have feelings for a high school friend I have not seen in 30 year. I OFTEN think of this person and regret not expressing my true feelings. If you don't try you'll never know!
     
  11. putputt00

    putputt00 Member

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    I talked to him but I just couldn't tell him, I am just to afraid of ruining the good friendship
     
  12. legna

    legna Member

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    Your instinct to hold off on telling your old friend how you feel about him seems like the right decision to me. You say you haven't been in touch with him for five years which leads me to believe that at this point you're infatuated with the memory of someone you once knew and were close to. Perhaps you should start by re-establishing your friendship with him and getting to know the man he has become during the past 5 years -- at your young age, those five years of emotional growth and life experience matter. Then, as someone else mentioned, tell him that you're gay and let this new dimension about you sink into your friendship. In time you'll know whether you still have romantic feelings for him and should talk to him about this or whether you're on course to have him in your adult life as a good friend. This is along way of saying don't rush things because that seems like the surest way of losing an old friend for good.

    I hope this is helpful. Good luck no matter what you decide to do.
     
  13. putputt00

    putputt00 Member

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  14. Florida Boy

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    It is highly likely you didn't talk about relationships for the same reason. Had he been married, he would have said so. Chances are he going through the same dilemma you are. That is not to say you should rush and tell him. Let it work itself out. When the time's right, you will both speak up.
     
  15. HellsKitchenmanNYC

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    Personally I think you shouldn't tell him how you feel about him until you get a chance to tell him you're gay and see how he takes that. If he's okay with that and then tells you that he is str8 then def. do not tell him you have/had feelings for him. You could blow the friendship if he's str8. He might not care that you're gay and that would be good to furthur the friendship. But if he is st8 and doesn't care that y're gay AND you tell him you're interested in him that wil deff ruin any chance for a friendship. If he's str8 just go w/the friendship. Chances are your crush on him will wane over time and you'll have a str8 friend that doesn't care that you're gay. If he's str8 and you tell him how you feel he'll push you away and also have a reason to. He might not care that you're gay but odds are he will care if you're crushing on him. IMHO.
     
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