anal help!

[lovemyman85]

Hi! I'm new to all of this, but I am in desperate need of advice. My husband has a rather large member, and he is dying to have anal sex. We have tried on several occasions, but he can only seem to get the head if his member inside me, I have to make him stop because it hurts so badly. I want to please him, but is it supposed to hurt me THAT bad? And does anyone have any suggeasions on what we could do differently other that using lube?
Thanks!

 

[FtSaskman]

Hello Love my Man 85:

The best thing for you to do is use lots of lube and keep trying...you may want to start introducing yourself to (toys) to help you learn how to relax and than progress to accepting your husband's "rather large member".

My significant other too had a similar problem as when I am fully excited I am larger than the average dick size. That is what we tried, and with practice, it does help you to learn how to relax. What toys should you try Anal Love Beads to start, and than when you are use to those than you can move onto a butt plug they come in different sizes, and there are some that vibrate.

The Toys can be part of your foreplay activity and than you will have no problem with accepting your partner's member.

Take Care and have fun.

 

[cyberczar]

First off, sex is not supposed to hurt. ;-) If it does, then one of you is doing something wrong.

First off, cleansing yourself is extremely important! Use an anal douche or enema. Believe me, nothing's more disgusting than brown puddin' if you catch my drift.

Anyways, do you have some old smaller vibrators or dildos you're willing to retire? I say retire because unless you thoroughly sterilize you most definitely don't want to use a dildo or vibrator for anal stimulation and turn around and stick it into your vagina afterwards. (Even after sterilizing, there's a stigma that might be attached as well.)

Start small, with a smaller diameter vibrator or dildo. When you're comfortable, work up to larger sizes. This is to get you used to the concept of items being inserted inside you.

Use lots of lube as well.

You can also try butt plugs, and by starting small and working your way up larger, however I've found some women adverse to purchasing them.

As you gradually work your way up, you'll find you'll have more control and it shouldn't bother you as much.

Just some thoughts!

Good luck!

 

[B_lilylabia]

Hi! I'm new to all of this, but I am in desperate need of advice. My husband has a rather large member, and he is dying to have anal sex. We have tried on several occasions, but he can only seem to get the head if his member inside me, I have to make him stop because it hurts so badly. I want to please him, but is it supposed to hurt me THAT bad? And does anyone have any suggeasions on what we could do differently other that using lube?
Thanks!

Some useful tips and hints here:
The Shy Girl - 10 Rules of Anal Sex

Lily

 

[Charles Finn]

toys and just a bit of anal eze but not too much
or stretching exercizes
lol

 

[B_Jennuine73]

I would suggest NOT using a lube that has any numbing qualities to it. You want to feel it if it's hurting. If you don't feel the hurt, you don't know you are being damaged.

I fully agree with toys. Start small, work your way up.

I started with anal beads, then a small butt plug, fingers are always good. Don't be in too much of a hurry. You WILL get him in there, start small then work your way up to his big cock. Good luck!!

 

[QuiteOne]

Anal sex is as much mental as it is physical. The anus can stretch quite a bit... probably more than you'd think. What makes it feel so weird is that something's going in instead of out. Initially it can feel totally wrong. But getting back to your question.... it's all about preparation... mentally and physically. You shouldn't be having anal sex to please your partner, you should be having it to please yourself. You have to want to do it. And as others have said, practice with small dildoes (or even your fingers). Move up to larger sizes until you feel you are ready for your husbands penis. Believe me when I tell you that when you are prepared for it, anal sex can be AMAZING.

 

[dickthrobbing]

All sound advice above.

Relax, lube (try and get a lube specifically for anal they stay 'wetter' longer) and pre play with some toys. To help make it easier to clean anal toys use a condom on them. Try inserting a butt plug a few hours before anal sex can be a bit perverse walking around with it in not to mention a turn on :tongue:

 

[midlifebear]

Hmmm . . . smaller dildos can be a bit dangerous. An old flame who worked as an ER nurse claimed that at least once a month someone -- both male and female -- came into the ER to have a vibrator removed from their anus. The old-fashioned or poorly designed dildos that do not have a wide "safety base" are risky things to stick up your bum.

They may appear to be made for gay men, however butt plugs would be a far better choice of "tool" for getting used to the feel of inserting things in your anus. By design they rarely, if ever, can get lost up your rectum because they narrow down and then widen to a larger, flat base.

But heed cyberczar's advice. Anal sex should NEVER hurt. It can be uncomfortable. However, if you suffer from hemerhoids (sp? sorry, my mind is in Spanish) you may always encounter difficulty and pain. A good portion of women develop 'roids during pregnancy and these vericose veins rarely completely go away. I'm not certain about the USA, but proctologists outside of the USA are somewhat more englightened about anal sex and how to repair, treat, and heal rectal problems that interfere with men or women enjoying anal sex. Those proctologists I've consulted within the borders of the Land of the Free have all been uncomfortable about the subject and have been of little help. At least that has been my experience.

Good luck and be careful.

 

[Love-it]

Relaxation
Lubrication
Vibration
Dilation

Dilate before penetration to help get your mind and body prepared for anal sex. My wife secretly dilated her ass for 3-4 months with increasing diameters of dildo's and then one morning offered me her ass. She can take me easier in her ass than in her vagina, but she has been dilating her vagina and we are almost there.