Anal play!

ninjanate

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First off, obviously I'd love to have some real dick to fill my virgin hole, but as a "straight" guy that's hard to workout discretely. (I'll play on Snapchat if you want, just PM me your username). So... what is my best option for anal stimulation to make me cum hands free. I love anal play with toys but have never gotten anything bigger than a fairly small buttplug in. To make things a bit trickier I can't order any toys online because I live with my roommate and we don't mind opening each other's mail. I want to stay discrete but still have some fun toys. Of course if any of you would like to try to help my hole with your tongue, fingers, and cock my dick gets hard thinking about that too! I'm dying to become a cumslut one day!!
 
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Andrue

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On the point about ordering stuff online:

You can buy something online and have it delivered to the local post office outlet instead of dropped off at your house or apartment.

That's what I have to do with anything because the apartment mailboxes are just too damn tiny for anything above a very small package. It's never been a problem to get a package at the post office and I've had a ton of stuff delivered, from socks to pants to shoes to cock rings to large butt plugs to huge dildos to books and that <-- rubber suit or gas mask, etc.

Barb, the nice older post office lady, has never so much as hinted she cares or wonders what's in all those packages. I do, however, make sure that whoever I'm ordering from packages very obvious things right. Dildos wrapped just in a plastic mail envelope don't get ordered. It has to be in a box.

If you order from Amazon (and they're shipping it, not some third party) then it's in a box anyway, so no problems there.
 

OKCLane

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Outstanding advice from @Andrue.
I have purchased items for decades and never was anything sent in a way that advertised its contents.
I have a box at a UPS store and use it exclusively for packages and sensitive financial documents. Even though I live in a gated community I prefer to have total control over these packages.
There are many prostate massagers out there that vibrate. I would start there.
You might also look for a local massage therapist that does prostate massage.