Anal Sex for Women...Hard to describe how it feels

Discussion in 'Women's Issues' started by D_Barbi_Dahl, Aug 11, 2010.

  1. tenebrex

    tenebrex New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 1, 2010
    Messages:
    77
    Albums:
    3
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
  2. big_tits4big_dicks

    big_tits4big_dicks New Member

    Joined:
    May 28, 2010
    Messages:
    466
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    L.A, city of madness,
    Remember, slow and steady wins the race.
     
  3. B_curiousme01

    B_curiousme01 New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 31, 2009
    Messages:
    1,079
    Likes Received:
    3
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Dreamplane
    We've tried it and he liked it. But for me, it was EXTREMELY painful. Quite literally the worst pain in the ass ever. Oh god it hurt!!! I wish it didn't for his sake. I want him to have anything from me that makes him feel good. He hasn't asked or tried again, but I'm like 99% sure he would like to have that with me. I just can't... :-(
     
  4. mgtihlah

    mgtihlah Member

    Joined:
    Mar 30, 2006
    Messages:
    58
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Within 100 miles of Chicago
    Practice with a smaller dildo or vibrator. My wife was initially very much against anal sex, but that was because some douchebag boyfriend of hers from before we were married tried to ram himself up her ass without telling her (AND with a penis extension on!). After explaining how much of a turn on it was/is for me, she agreed to try (and I'm not exactly small - 8" length, 6" in circumference).

    We started VERY slowly. First with a small vibrator. The first time or two we tried with me, she could only take the head of my cock. We had her use some dildos during some sexual sessions in-between, to help her with relaxing. She bled a couple times as I got further in, but it wasn't very much at all and she did say that she wasn't in any particular pain, either. And eventually, not only was she able to take almost all of my length, but she would also enjoy it and orgasm from it. Sometimes she even asks ME for it, which is quite the turn on for me, too. :smile:

    Start slow, and with objects that are smaller. Learn to relax. That's still the biggest issue for us, even now. When I'm first inside, I still have to go slow, and let her adjust. Once she's relaxed, she starts to push back towards me, but I've never gotten nearly as rambunctious with her doing anal as with vaginal sex.
     
  5. B_lauaraneeds

    B_lauaraneeds New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 5, 2008
    Messages:
    7
    Likes Received:
    0
    I did get use to it some what over time, but it still always hurt....
     
  6. Attila the Hung

    Attila the Hung Active Member

    Joined:
    Apr 9, 2009
    Messages:
    627
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    88
    Gender:
    Male
    Question for the ladies here, have any of you while having anal sex had your partner go past your 2nd sphincter? I only ask because I often notice while reading how dozens of men who`ve been fucked and say they have been penetrated past theirs, yet I have never once seen a woman comment on it happening to her, yet surely women must have one too no?
     
  7. petite

    petite New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 3, 2010
    Messages:
    7,539
    Albums:
    2
    Likes Received:
    24
    Gender:
    Female
    It's been a few weeks since you asked this question, but maybe this will help someone else if it's too late for it.

    Anal sex is not pleasurable to me unless I have clitoral stimulation at the same time, and then it feels absolutely amazing, so using a good vibrator on your clitoris at the same time might be the key to really enjoying yourself during anal sex. I dilate my ass earlier the same day so that anal sex will be pleasurable instead of painful.

    I stretch myself out earlier the same day by dilating using a succession of progressively larger dildos. One of the things I've learned is that having a dildo that is long enough is very important. I didn't own any as long as TheBF, thinking that my anus and the opening was the main problem with anal sex. I was wrong about that. We weren't totally successful at pain free anal sex until I dilated using a dildo as long as his cock.

    First I masturbate, because I think the process works better and it's a lot more fun when I am aroused and turned on. I use the largest dildo I can insert into my ass comfortably first and masturbate by playing with my clitoris while thrusting with it in. Depending on how tight your bottom is, you may need to just start with dilation since for most total newbies, just a finger or two can feel too tight. If you are a total newbie, you might just want to masturbate with nothing in your bottom first, to get yourself aroused.

    After I masturbate first while playing with a comfortably sized dildo in my ass, I start dilating for a larger size so that anal sex won't be painful with TheBF's cock.

    I use the stretch and relax method of anal dilation. I dilate while lying on my stomach. I use a larger dildo and insert it slowly. When I feel uncomfortable or I experience pain. I hold it still for a minute, then I remove it for about a minute. When I insert it again, there's no pain at that same depth and I can put it in deeper before it hurts. I keep going, deeper/larger until I'm fully dilated to the size I need to be. I don't actually masturbate while dilating. My muscles tense up when I'm nearing orgasm, which makes relaxing my anus more difficult and I think it hurts the process instead of helping it. I don't use any clitoral stimulation until my ass has relaxed and there's no discomfort or pain.

    After I've dilated, I masturbate while fucking myself with the dildo until I orgasm, usually thinking about he's going to do the same thing to me that night with his cock, which always turns me on and always gets me really excited about the sex we're going to have later on.

    I don't need to dilate again we have anal sex again within a few days, but sometimes too much time passes between times we have anal sex and I have to start all over again.

    Things I've tried in the past that haven't worked for me:

    1. Sitting down on his penis to dilate my ass just hurt, no matter how many times we tried it. The idea of having control over speed and depth is a nice one, but in practice it never worked. I think it's because you have to tense up to be on top instead of being relaxed. This has been recommended tons of times and you see it in porn where the women cry from the pain of losing their anal virginity. Yeah, that's because it hurts! It hasn't worked for me, so I can't recommend it.

    2. Thrusting with a dildo or penis during dilation makes me tense up a lot more and it just hurts a lot. Based on my personal experience and a lot of trial and error, lots and lots of error, I don't recommend thrusting at all if it still hurts, because it just keeps hurting which makes you react and tense up and makes you feel afraid. I don't thrust until I'm dilated or if it hurt during insertion. Slow insertion, then holding while my bottom relaxes and removing it for a minute break is the best method. It's so gentle and comforting. There' s no pain at all if you stop insertion when there's discomfort and you just hold it there for a minute and then remove it for a minute's break. It's not fear inducing, it's relaxing, and it works.



    I didn't know what this was, so I looked it up. I found one web page that said that the second sphincter is 1-2 inches inside your rectum, another that said that it's 6 inches inside your rectum. Could you tell us more? I don't know anything about it, although I've had difficulty accommodating the last part of TheBF's penis during anal sex, so a tighter spot deeper inside me would explain a lot. I've also experienced certain problems sometimes when I clean myself with an enema that would be explained by another sphincter deeper inside me that won't open and release when I wish it would. :frown1: I've figured out how to solve that problem now, but it used to drive me nuts.
     
    #47 petite, Sep 26, 2010
    Last edited: Sep 26, 2010
  8. Attila the Hung

    Attila the Hung Active Member

    Joined:
    Apr 9, 2009
    Messages:
    627
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    88
    Gender:
    Male
     
  9. Attila the Hung

    Attila the Hung Active Member

    Joined:
    Apr 9, 2009
    Messages:
    627
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    88
    Gender:
    Male
    Anyone else care to answer my question besides petite?
     
  10. petite

    petite New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 3, 2010
    Messages:
    7,539
    Albums:
    2
    Likes Received:
    24
    Gender:
    Female
    I can't imagine that women's anatomy is so different from men's anatomy that we're missing an entire sphincter that men have. That doesn't seem likely to me.

    I asked TheBF if he could feel any difference in sensation deep inside me before we started using the really long dildo to dilate me, and he said that he couldn't tell a sensation difference between the part of me that didn't hurt and the part of me that did hurt. On his end (har har) it was all very tight.

    I think this might be a question for the bisexual men in the Sex with a Large Penis forum. They might be able to tell us if topping a woman anally feels different on his large penis than topping a man anally.
     
    #50 petite, Sep 29, 2010
    Last edited: Sep 29, 2010
  11. Love-it

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 7, 2005
    Messages:
    1,884
    Likes Received:
    2
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Northern California
    Sorry for deleting the 1/2 post, see the full text in the next message.
     
    #51 Love-it, Sep 29, 2010
    Last edited: Sep 29, 2010
  12. Love-it

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 7, 2005
    Messages:
    1,884
    Likes Received:
    2
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Northern California
    We always had trouble with vaginal sex hurting and it was just a few years ago that we finally figured out that I was too big for my wife. We got some dildos of increasing diameter that she used to dilate with, but vaginal sex was and still is impossible for her to enjoy, unless I only use about the first 2".

    One morning she came to our bed and offered me her ass, I was unaware that she had also been dilating her ass for some time, it was tight but we were successful enough that I was able to orgasm inside her. What a relief and change in her that she was able to take me into her body.

    We still have anal sex and it still takes awhile for her to relax and accept me, slow and steady is the only way it will happen. When she is fully relaxed I can really let loose and go balls deep. She rarely orgasms from anal and if she does its from a vibrator on her clitoris.

    Relaxation
    Lubrication
    Vibration
    Dilation
    Penetration
     
  13. petite

    petite New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 3, 2010
    Messages:
    7,539
    Albums:
    2
    Likes Received:
    24
    Gender:
    Female
    Does she have vaginismus?

    What is vaginismus? - Vaginismus.com
     
  14. QwentyJ1987

    QwentyJ1987 New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 20, 2009
    Messages:
    119
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    SE UK
    I think I'm very rare amongst men in that I find Anal sex a bit....off putting. I'm not sure how I would react if a potential partner asked me to do it to her. :S
     
  15. Love-it

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 7, 2005
    Messages:
    1,884
    Likes Received:
    2
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Northern California
    Hello Petite - thank you for your question.

    1. In the beginning of our relationship, 36 years ago, the pain she was experiencing we attributed to vaginal infections. Now, through better diet, she very rarely has an infection.

    2. She tried to relate the pain to psychological trauma but she can't remember any event that may have caused the problem. I still wonder, but she has closed the book on this issue as being irrelevant.

    3. Her symptoms have the appearance of secondary vaginismus. She has dilated her vagina for years now with only slight improvement. So, if that's what it is, it is not totally curable as the article suggests.

    When we were first together I was naive as to what to expect when making love with her, but I soon realized that she was feeling pain during intercourse. At that time we could achieve full penetration but she later told me that it always hurt and she thought that it was just supposed to hurt. Neither one of us liked that and she went through a lot of different regimens of trying to balance her body's PH, getting rid of system wide Candida and removing all of her mercury dental fillings to improve her body's immune response.

    It got to the point that we would try penetration only once or twice a year and always with bad results. A couple of years back she was in tears and shouted "Maybe you are just to big for me!" That had never occurred to us before, no doctor had ever asked about my size or commented on her having a small vagina, come to think of it I don't know if she ever asked her gynecologist if she had a narrow vagina, we never had children. She had a hysterectomy and the doctor said that when he sewed her back up she was shorter inside, it was a bit after that when I gave her my measurements to ask the gynecologists, at that time 6.5" x 6", more is showing now that I lost some weight, more like 7.5-8" x 6", and he agreed that I was pretty big.

    After several years of her dilating her vagina I can gradually work most of my way in to her vagina, if she can relax and her vibrator is going full blast, but what I have found is that when I pull out some for a stroke I can't go back in as far and if I do she says it hurts. What I have also found is that as she starts to get excited her vagina starts clamping down and pushing me out, if I am deep enough inside when her vagina starts clamping down it can get uncomfortable for me and her, and at times I have felt what must be a narrow band of muscle clamping down very hard on top of my penis, it almost seems like the back edge of a butter knife is pushing down, and when I pull away there is a very definite scraping sensation.

    So we think happiness is a loose vagina, not a tight one.
    During anal sex, when her ass is relaxed, it is wonderfully loose inside.
     
  16. B_subgirrl

    B_subgirrl New Member

    Joined:
    May 15, 2010
    Messages:
    9,873
    Likes Received:
    9
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    NSW, Australia
    I've never noticed a feeling of a partner going through a second barrier of any kind, but I agree that it seems likely women have one as well as men.


    Possibly rare, but certainly not alone. My ex and I only had anal sex a couple of times in the four years we were together. I was the one who had to talk HIM into it. Do you think you would be OK with using toys for anal?
     
Draft saved Draft deleted