This will probably sound ridiculous to many, but i need some advice for accomplishing anal. First off, i'm not even very big, prolly average, but i figured i could find some good advice here. Every time my gf and I try, we can only get about half way, and then it starts to hurt too much for her and we have to stop. We have tried several kinds of lube, and it's not like i just slam it in there... it's kind of a slow process. Is it just not possible with some people? Thanks!
Maybe...I know that I have NO TALENT WHATSOEVER at bottoming. It seems to me that anal sex is a combination of really wanting it and having the patience to actually accomplish it. Let me throw out a question: What exactly constitutes foreplay for you in your attempts to fuck her in the ass? If you rush it or she can't feel both really relaxed and really horny for it, then it (the foreplay, not your dick) is not long enough.
I can understand the "need" for anal penetration in a gay relationship as there's no alternative if you want penetrative sex. But in a hetero situation, I've had anal with some females. Some would not consider it. Some, we tried and to varying degrees failed/succeeded. It's a rush to do (from my perspective) but it's not the be all and end all as there is an alternative penetrative sex experience just a couple of inches away. Maybe it's not really gonna happen. Maybe if you both accept that fact, you'll both relax and it WILL happen. Good luck. Be patient and it'll happen or it won't. If it don't, it weren't meant to. If you're enjoying each other apart from that, don't let it become an obsession or a deal-breaker. If I can, I will (though it's no big deal actually). If I can't, I don't and find something else to do. It often happens later or on another night when the pressure is off. A few beers don't hurt (best taken orally - LOL).
Some people can't relax enough for anal, other just need to be taken to a level of arousal where anything sounds like a good idea and that takes time. But try these before giving up totally: Rub the lubed tip of your cock on and around her asshole for a few minutes (something about the pressure and warmth always makes me ready for entry) Rub and finger (even lick) her ass while eating her pussy and make sure she has a few orgasms before moving to butt sex. Have her control the penetration - meaning move back into you while you're still (make sure you are rock hard, but that's probably not an issue ) Do not pull out once you get it in, just sit there and let her ass get used to the feeling. Massage her lower back and ass as you're waiting. Have her push out with her ass as you push in. Use a thick and creamy lube (loveee Liquid Silk), if you are in a relationship where you do not use condoms, I understand oil and oil based lubes work well.
Well thanks for all the quick responses! It's certainly not an obsession of ours or anything... but once in a while we both get the urge (she wants it as much as i) and we go for it. I will definitely try some more extended foreplay next time. Thanks for the detailed instructions ChockoKittie! They were very... informative But seriously, i will try them... i'm not sure if we'd ever made sure she had cum before trying.. thats a good idea. Thanks!
One final note: The longer the foreplay, the greater your chances of both enjoying it. And even if you don't end up fucking her up the ass, at least it'll be fun on the way.
Anal sex just takes time. It took me about 6 months of trying over and over to let my ex fuck me in my ass. At first he could only do it for a few seconds and then only a few mins. He always used his finger first to get my ass to loosen up and that helped a lot. To be honest though it took around a year for me to actually be able to let him finish. He was kinda big not really long about 6 1/2 in but really thick( i think we measured the cicumference once and it was just over 6). My boyfriend now is between 7 1/2 to 8in long and way thicker than my ex. I love letting him fuck me in the ass and we do it a few times a month. It still hurts a little when he first goes in, but it soon turns to pure pleasure. Maybe try using a bullet vibrator on her clit when you try to get the ass, I always use one when I have anal, I couldn't do it without it.
In addition to some of the good advice you've been given: try laying on your back and having her sit on you to get started. This gives her the control so she can move at her own pace. Spend a lot of time with foreplay, take a shower together and while she's in the shower, lick her asshole, using your tongue to go in lightly. Also, get a small butt plug that she can put in her ass while you fuck her so she can get used to the feeling. Try having her use a dildo on your ass so you know what some of the feeling is like. There's a saying, to be a good top--ass fucker--you have to know how to be a good bottom.
Graphic, eh? :biggrin1: Make sure she cums, get her super hot, spoon her and rub the tip of your lubed cock on her asshole. Then ask if she wants it (I like some dirty talk at this point) then ease it in and fuck her gently until she asks for more, harder, or deeper. But, that's just the way I like it... :wink:
No, you are banned permanently from the LPSG if you so much as write the work fuck for any reason. Unless of course we are talking about YOUR ass which changes everything.:wink: Seriously, it is not the word but how it is used. If it is used as a part of a threat or as part of an extremely personal attack on another member than we have a problem. Also to the members here it matters what the subject matter is. Talking about the Penn. primary we are usually a bit more reserved using the word that on the sex threads whever the word gets bounced around quite often.
Use dido's, vibrators and fingers to get he used to the sensation of having something in her ass. Also get her to have a warm bath beforehand as it is amazing how much it relaxes ALL the muscles. But with lube and perseverance it should be able and enjoyable.
I only use the word "fuck" when I'm discussing fucking, but I do try and throw in "cunt" as often as possible.
In the beginning its as much a mental thing as anything. If she drinks, it sure doesn't hurt to give her a couple just to relax her. The biggest thing is go in s l o w. For whatever reason lots of guys start to get the tip in and as soon as they get part way in they immediately thrust all the way in. Don't make that mistake, it will be the last time she lets you try anal. lol
Also, experiment with different positions. My partner is longer than average and very thick. We've had sex numerous times, but no matter how turned on I am, or how much lube we use, he can never get more than half of it into me in the cowgirl/reverse cowgirl position. On the other hand, he can easily fit all of it into me in doggy, or missionary with my legs on his shoulders. Conversely, he has a friend who is about the same size, but has a gentle curve in his dick. I have no problem taking him when I'm on top, but he can't thrust to hard when we're in doggy. Sometimes you just gotta take a few hours and experiment to see what works.
