anal sex - seriously

[sares]

hi all, haven't been to the site in a while.

i feel like this subject must have been covered in the past but damned if my searches turn up anything. i'm interested in how larger guys manage to achieve anal penetration, and how their partners (male or female responses welcome; though the p-spot renders us different, an ass is an ass) manage to handle the width/length.

my guy is not actually even that interested - every time he's been invited around back, the girl changed her mind REAL fast - and he's terrified of hurting me. i'm terrified of being hurt, too.

for the record, i'm dealing with a solid 8" and 6.25-5" around at his widest. and this is not in goddamn internet inches, this is the ass-busting truth.

 

[D_Adoniah Sheervolume]

wow, lucky gal!

whether i'm fucking or getting fucked, use lots o'lube. have him "bounce" his head against your hole, just teasing it a bit, not trying to enter. it's fun, you can have sexy talk about how good it's going to be and all. after awhile you'll be more receptive. as he goes for more penetration, it should be with these short strokes so you can get used to his size. he should *not* dive right in with all 8 thick inches...

sometimes it stings like HELL at first penetration. your ass may spasm & you'll be scared to try again, but DO, pretty soon after the sting. add more lube, push out as he's pushing in, do the bumping/short strokes thing. dunno why, but once past that initial sting, i can handle a lot, especially with practice.

have fun!

 

[sares]

okay while we're talking candidly -- what about the need-to-go feeling? I mean seriously, all those nerves are built to tell you "TAKE A SHIT NOW PLS KTHNX." i am so worried about panicking through that sensation of "fullness."

the way you describe penetration is how he gets into my pussy, it's always a struggle in the nicest way. my favourite thing about his hungitude. i guess the difference around back is that you can't safely go 'too early' which is something i enjoy in front.

 

[scottbud]

this has been mentioned b4 but there is a couple of tricks to it.

The first is that you can not get anxious about it as that tension will never let you relax enough let him in easily.

lots and lots of lube (like heaps)

diferent possitions work better for different people so be prepared change it up a bit.

also I find while he is pushing in to push back like im trying to force a bowl movement (of coarse I have allready done that earlier so no chance of mess) this helps your muscles to open up and let him in.

There are lots of bottoms on this site im sure youll get lotsa advice.

 

[sares]

cool scottbud, we cross-posted, the bearing down is a very scary idea to me. *points up*

 

[_avg_]

Pics?

Really, honestly, I've been a-knockin' but never got in. Even with enough lube (and patience) to slip a greased pig through the eye of a needle (which might have been more successful). Anal sex takes *a lot* of "working into."

 

[kvsb86]

To be honest I'm not that experienced, but with the big guys, I find that it helps to just really really take your time. It only hurts when you're not completely relaxed. Just place the head of his dick at the entrance (obviously both have to be well lubricated) and then just slowly tease it, adding a bit of pressure each time you move up and down (so its better if you're on top too so you can control it) - but just really take your time, like 5,10 minutes before he fully enters. Lots of hugging and kissing in the meantime helps you to relax and take your mind off it too.

 

[scottbud]

I wouldnt be surprised if it takes you upto an hour to get him in and thrusting at a good pace. It can be quite a challenge to relax enough to let a bloke that big in.

Plus there are lubes specially for anal sex that have muscle relaxants in them you should look for this and use it the first few times. and dont just apply it to his cock and your sphincter lube up a finger and coat the inside 2" also this will work but you gotta be patient and relax.

 

[ManlyBanisters]

Taking a dump will not be something you will be thinking about. Don't worry.

The best way to ease your mind in that regard is to be empty. There are many ways of, um, shall we say purging and I highly recommend NOT having anal sex if you feel you haven't passed everything you have to pass for the day. Other's milage may vary but that's how I feel about it.

Unlike wowniceone I can't stand to be shallow penetrated at the start of anal sex. I don't mean I want balls deep first thurst - but if a guy pops his head in and then out again I am far more likely to experience pain than I am if he takes a longer stroke - this may just be me though.

Have you tried other anal play as a prelude to the feeling and to find out if you like it at all. Does he finger your ass? Do you have any thin(ner) toys you could play with first? (plenty of lube for toys, just the same for cocks).

Mainly, if it is something you both want to do then it is worth the effort of finding out whether or not it is for you as a couple. Personally I have found a girthier cock to be not just OK for anal, but better.

 

[dongalong]

Hi sares, nice to see you, your presence was missed here

 

[sares]

manly, i have intestinal issues (let's call it IBS) so my problem is that almost all of my physical associations with my rear are negative/too much activity/sick-feeling. if i panic, it won't matter if i've gone before. my gut can move.

i have just today sent away for a toy that is verrry slender and small, to see if i can even bear something going the "wrong way."

i don't even know why i'm trying to figure this out since the mr. is not pressuring me. maybe it seems like something special we could have together, a mutual first. maybe i just want something NON-yucky to happen to my butt.

 

[HazelGod]

Red wine helps. So does Valium.

 

[sares]

aw hi dongalong! thanks for the welcome. i just had too goddamn many forums to keep up on, but i knew you guys would be the place to go if i had a question.

 

[D_one and done]

nice thread sares. im gonna have to take some notes and tell my baby some of these tips. thanks everyone for your contributions

 

[ManlyBanisters]

manly, i have intestinal issues (let's call it IBS) so my problem is that almost all of my physical associations with my rear are negative/too much activity/sick-feeling. if i panic, it won't matter if i've gone before. my gut can move.

i have just today sent away for a toy that is verrry slender and small, to see if i can even bear something going the "wrong way."

i don't even know why i'm trying to figure this out since the mr. is not pressuring me. maybe it seems like something special we could have together, a mutual first. maybe i just want something NON-yucky to happen to my butt.

Non-yucky is good. And anal sex can be really good.

Take it slow though - your ass isn't going anywhere (I made a funny!! )

Well - without going into to detail, an enema or similar beforehand to get you all nice and clean and if you feel uncomfortable or 'at risk' stop.

 

[sares]

i've wondered about that, yes. thing is, and i apologise for the tmi, but y'all clicked on an anal sex thread... years ago, i tried colonics to try and help my health. these are more intensive than an enema (which explains why they left me feeling so wrung out, and awful, like having the flu) and i still managed to pass mucous if i had a panic attack. i guess it's not shit, but enemas don't go as high.

god. this is sooo sexy.

anyway i am enjoying the tips (and the implicit acknowledgment that this is even possible) though i will have to get that toy in the mail to know if i'm taking this aaany farther personally.

 

[thereisalight]

I agree with NiceOne...a few slow teasing penetrations (with about a gallon of lube if it's your first time). Finger-teasing at the beginning also helps (but make sure those nails are trimmed -- one hangnail could make it feel like Sam the Butcher is at it).

I don't think the initial stinging will ever go away for me. Once it's made it's full all-of-the-way-in entrance in me, I usually need it to 'exit' so I can put my eyes back in my head, take a deep breath and find something to hold onto.

After that it's smooth sailing.

 

[sares]

interesting that there's disagreement on that -- good to know that there's personal variation on whether penetration should be interrupted or sustained.

 

[SandraSmithCarver]

Take is very very slow-"AnaEze" is a good lube for anal, and dont expect him to get it totally in, the first time

 

[InTheZone]

OK, so I have a question....my boyfriend is about 7.5 inches long....well it hurts like HELL and we have been going out for 5 years....what does everyone think is the best position....i make him stop if it hurts too much....but then he gets totally upset and at times he just stops and "losses it", I don't think he realizes the true extent of pain that is first associated with anal....

Don't get me wrong there are times when I am like, "YEAH". But I want to know how to get to the "Yeah" places without feeling like "OUCH".

Someone recommended to me that I should top him so I can get used to how great it feels to enter someone but.....my boyfriend is a self proclaimed "total top"....I haven't been able to top him in a good 3 years....and I have never finished in him....if you know what I mean....

Also, does anyone know how to avoid that pain when it feels like it is hitting your, I don't know....bladder....
Thanks....