anal sex

[B_dxjnorto]

Is that a turd, or can I smell another Stronzo was banned thread?

 

[Hatched69]

Is that a turd, or can I smell another Stronzo was banned thread?

I think this thread's about to be flushed....

 

[Lordpendragon]

I would really like to discuss this issue with the men and women of all sexual denominations here, because I am personally confused and consider that you will have knowledge and thoughts that will help.

I am confused by several things.

As a straight man, I have no problem with penis/vagina sex and presume that straight women would be the same.

I have no problem that some women, stright or not, like anal sex, and that some do not.

Now it gets more difficult. I have tried anal sex with a woman and I didn't really like it - I suppose I am thinking about it relative to my greater pleasure with vaginal sex - and that is physical, not just mental. I did it because she wanted me to, and I would do it again if the woman asked me to.

But - I have never been anally penetrated - so I don't know what the issues and technique should be - I imagine I would perfom on the ass as I would on the pussy - in reality I have no idea - it was bloody tight though.

What would I do if a woman asked to do me with a strap on? No idea again - I don't have the inclination, but should I do it for her pleasure and/or my curiosity.

Then, whether as a straight man, who does or doesn't like anal, should I suggest it, initiate it with a new female partner to see if they like it - what if they like it and I don't or vice versa? As I don't really like it myself, I don't suggest it, but then am I being a selfish lover?

I don't see why I should feel threatened if I liked anal on myself.

 

[Love-it]

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lex
You inability to observe your own participation in the same actions you criticize in others can be rather staggering.

You scream at straight men who like anal sex (in the name of protecting women) while screaming that fundies need to stay out of YOUR bedroom (when the fundies are stiffling gay sex in the name of saving society and children).

Is the hyprocisy of that type of argument lost on you?

No more than your own appears to be on you.

Wait now? Where did I 'scream at straight men who like anal sex'? Nope. Don't think I did now did I? Sure didn't.

That's your take and I accept it erroneous as I find it and you.

Your bias can (and has been in the past) been equally staggering to me as a poster. So we all have our crosses to bear. Yours just carries a greater "weight" shall we say?:33:

I leave you to your own theorizing.

Instead of a pissing contest, it appears there is a "Whose ass is up-tighter?" question.

 

[rawbone8]

....

I was speaking to the majority of heterosexual men in our ranks who buy the premise I described.

On what do you base this presumptuous premise? The nine out of ten dear female friends you hear from about the status of all women in straight land where they have omnipresent dicks targetting girly tushes?

Stronzo, I think the pervasiveness of porn in recent generations confuses the perception of reality of most heteros' sexual practices. People consume porn. Some try to live it. Most treat it as a bit of spice that moves them on occasion. Youth have it as a dubious and unreliable educator.

Missionary sex is generally boring to watch, so producers have always presented taboos and kinks for entertainment value and because it sells to the jaded. There are of course many who thoroughly enjoy what others consider fetishes, and would do so despite what the fashion of the day is.

Porn might be very influential to young men and women who are forming THEIR sexual tastes and discovering their preferences. Young guys who get their education from porn are possibly going to want all that is on the dvd. LOL. They probably feel they must have to pull out and perform a money shot to feel normal too. Or expect a threesome some day. (You covered that one before.) Or well... whatever turned their crank at that developmental period. It can be sad if it is selfish and controlling. Or it can be a base for a creative playground depending on the individuals and how they relate to others. Individuals is the key distinction.

I object to your premise that the majority of heterosexual men buy into that entitlement that allows them anything they want and in doing so tramples the female. There is no doubt that some do, and the influence of porn on younger guys potentially could make it a growing trend. Most women can and do deny access to anal sex if they choose, without substantial consequences. You seem to be implying also that consent by most females to anal sex is still coerced in some way, so it is not really consent. Would you apply the same logic to blowjobs?

Your view of "bad hetero men" as a political theme comes up here again and again. The hypocrisy of straights wanting it all sexually for themselves, but denying legitimacy and civil rights to homosexuals. I see and agree with your goals, but disagree with the "fitting the facts to your view" that oversimplifies and misrepresents heterosexuals.

It does seem odd that you had heterosexual women who happen to like choice opposing you in the other thread, and your only rebuttal in the end seemed to be discounting them and starting your own thread.

 

[Lordpendragon]

Instead of a pissing contest, it appears there is a "Whose ass is up-tighter?" question.

An interesting choice of words for a straight guy to use in this context.

Thank you for your thoughts Kotchanski. It intrigues me in all honesty as to whether you have to try something to know whether you like it. As I have never felt sexual urges when I have been in potentially sexual situations with men, I am going to trust my inclination that it is not for me. However if you were blindfolded, what would it matter if it were a man or a woman giving you a blow job? - of course you might feel the stubble.

I was also wondering that if a straight guy liked receiving anal, how would it be different if it was a woman with a strap on or a guy with his cock? But of course it matters or does it - I just feel it would for me. I suppose the same question would apply to a gay bottom - what's the difference between a guy and a woman with a strap on?

 

[Gillette]

However if you were blindfolded, what would it matter if it were a man or a woman giving you a blow job? - of course you might feel the stubble.

I was also wondering that if a straight guy liked receiving anal, how would it be different if it was a woman with a strap on or a guy with his cock? But of course it matters or does it - I just feel it would for me. I suppose the same question would apply to a gay bottom - what's the difference between a guy and a woman with a strap on?

That is a very interesting question.

As a straight female I can only guess at how the gay men feel, but my assumption is that orientation is based on emotional triggers and physical attraction overall moreso than what gets put where and by whom.

As to the gay bottom, male vs female with strap on question, I'm going to be a smart ass and say that unless the woman in question is Chyna they would notice a difference in the physicality.

http://myweb.tiscali.co.uk/iceddonuts/images/chyna/chyna91.jpg

 

[Lex]

Is that a turd, or can I smell another Stronzo was banned thread?

Now, now--Play nicely.

...I was also wondering that if a straight guy liked receiving anal, how would it be different if it was a woman with a strap on or a guy with his cock? But of course it matters or does it - I just feel it would for me. I suppose the same question would apply to a gay bottom - what's the difference between a guy and a woman with a strap on?

Think of it in terms of jerking off versus having actual intercourse. Sure, it can feel good--but it is not the same.

 

[B_Stronzo]

It's really kind of telling that you asked me to talk about this in PM, then after I thought we came to an understanding, you posted this (including the Moderator jab).

Wow.

First off thank you Kotchanski.

It's been interesting to see this thing misconstrued in every possible way to make me a villain who would deny women their varying sexual interests. For the life of me I cannot begin (now having had a night to sleep on it) to see where that erroneous interpretation that I thought women shouldn't have/enjoy anal sex came from.. It's very baffling. It's obvious that people are very touchy about their assholes. :tongue:

To Rawbone?

To address your post here and the phenomenon I witness in this society I'll say this. I don't (of necessity) expect you to see it since it's an assumed with many heterosexual men. However with many straight women who use gay men to listen to their complaints about you guys I can assure the phenomenon is serious and it's not appreciated by a significant portion of them.

I previously referred to a sitcom where I recently heard "oh you know the right kind of threesome". You realize Rawbone they were subliminally referencing the male-female-female variety.. effectively implying that the female-male-male one was the "wrong kind".

I hope that clarifies the thing for you.

It's pervasive in society and Kotchanski's reference to consoling women who've been pressured into the "new age of open seuxality for women" (where the same does not apply to men) is exactly the bias to which I addressed (and do still) my concerns. Again many women are being placed in yet another place of compromising subservience to men for - to me- what we can only call the "heterosexual male standard".

It's this phenomenon which is the genesis of the term "Lesbian chic" where you have none for the gay males in our ranks.

Do I think all heterosexual males are guilty of it? No. Do I think it's pervasive however? Yes. It's been my experience.

To Lex-

We didn't have anything more than our usual Stronzo-versus-Lex power struggle in pm. You'll recall I'd asked you, in your moderator capacity, to mollify the gang mentality I saw going on here just now. You simply didn't address the request. As for your last and most recent pm? I never got it since it was (honestly) deleted when I entirely cleaned out my pm box last night.

There was no understanding there. I've repeatedly asked three rather aggressive posters (Gisella, Surfergirl, and SassyLisa) to kindly understand my intent. On each occasion they refused to really read what I'd said and understand it now matter how high I attempted to keep the level of discourse in several of my replies to rather nasty comments on all their parts (no pun intended).

Further directly to Lex:

Since our first negative volley way back when you took exception to my stance with regard to the veiled racism thread you've been on watch with me. I've tried twice now in pm over the last few months to mend our fences with heartfelt sentiments of reconciliation which you've opted to ignore as is your right. But it "ain't for a lack 'o trying". That much is certain.


I (obligatory criticism and complaints from alex8 duly noted and notwithstanding) opened this thread to help better clarify my view since I thought those three posters had "copped an attitude" about my stance in things on the other thread since I'd repeatedly stated and restated I posted the now-infamous post as an exaggeration for effect. I thought it was extremely clear in it's presentation and verbiage.


But I've been over that enough.

Just so everyone can know Lex my only real issue with you is that you appear to enjoy ruling with an iron fist which (by the nature of both of our strong personalities) precludes any real connection between us. It's fine. We don't need to be friendly. The pivotal difference is (as you've demonstrated in the past) you'll kick my ass out of here if you decide I have violated your terms of board protocol .

It's kind of an "I don't really like Stronzo or his views so I think since I have the power to smack him down I'll use it" kind of thing.

If I saw you apply those rules (even and if not the board rules) with equal application across the board I'd be fine with it. But such has not been my observation.

dxjnorto brings up a very germane point:

The "Stronzo was banned??!!" thread was begun by faceking who did so while I was in banned status and you, as moderator, allowed that thing to stay there intact for the entire time I could not access this board. I think it was a montrous mistake that you allowed those in our ranks who find ... let's say... my personality "too big" to have at me for all that while. I was unable to respond and it should have been pulled.

For me Lex it said one thing loud and clear: "I'll ban him because I cannot make him comply with my rules and once Stronzo's unable to access this board I'll let them take pot shots at him ad infinitum."

To that I'll respond with your own word "Wow".

What could have been your motivation for allowing that thing to stay open as a thread?

Beyond that you're pretty much the "resident mod" here. And God help anyone who doesn't cater to you on several levels. I think it's abuse of power and I think we all need to take a long hard look to see if the board's becoming the "LLPSG" (Large Lex Penis Support Group) rather than any facsimile of reasonable posting board where the rules are applied fairly and equally to all posters.

I have no quarrel in particular with you other than I don't think we like one another very well. Beyond that it was always my sense we could co-exist if (esp. after you banned me for those three days) I stayed clear of you. But you (as is your right as a poster) "shout me down" with the best of them.

The fly in the ointment is responding to you since I have personal experience with incurring the Wrath of Lex. Your hand can come down with a slam that can remove access to this place without benefit of a reason or an explanation while others (equally offensive in this regard like faceking) are allowed to bash at will. I saw that as pretty telling in its incongruity and personal bias.

But it is, undoubtedly, an inherent problem with moderator status per se since you're bound to have those with whom you feel a connection and those you don't. That's why I found Lordpendragon's thread about moderator elections pretty damned interesting.

For those of you who'll now say I'm grand-standing or being narcissistic about this thing? I am. I'm able to take my fair share of criticism and respond in kind. In fact I stiffled much of what Gisella deserved when she began to personalize our fray on the other thread.

But quite honestly you all had a piece of my gay ass in the now-finally-closed "Stronzo is banned??!!" thread. So let's just call this display of personal sentiment "a little of my own back".

After all is said and done and the crap that was copied and pasted from that thread and emailed to me by my board friends I guess I'm due at least that.

Have a nice day.

 

[B_dxjnorto]

I love anal sex myself, but I'm getting more than a little tired of late nights conforting female friends when their latest man walks out on them for the simple fact that they were honest enough to say "Im sorry hon, I just don't like it"

What I find odd, maybe even disturbing, is that anyone would feel a sense of entitlement like that.

 

[GoneA]

What is trying to be conveyed in this thread is for people who are not comfortable with their partners' desires to speak out and let their opinions be known. .

Well, if that's what it's really all about, then I agree. I've always been a staunch advocate for that. If anyone one feels significantly uncomfortable with any element of their relationship, then they should certainly speak up.

However, I fear many people view the (negative) aspects of their relationship as unchangeable, inevitable and ultimately something that is swept under the carpet. This is especially true if what you view as negative is, contrarily, deemed 'pleasing' in the eyes of your significant other.

I've always wondered if people can't live freely in their relationships, then where can they?

 

[rob_just_rob]

I was also wondering that if a straight guy liked receiving anal, how would it be different if it was a woman with a strap on or a guy with his cock? But of course it matters or does it - I just feel it would for me. I suppose the same question would apply to a gay bottom - what's the difference between a guy and a woman with a strap on?

It absolutely matters, since you asked. At least it did for me.

 

[rob_just_rob]

People have been pressured into sex since the dawn of history. And not just anal sex, and not just women, and not just by men.

I think what set me off was how proprietary you seem to be about anal sex, Stronzo. If you want to make a point with irony, fine, but when you couch it in the language you chose, you have to expect some pissed-off responses.

 

[Macarion]

You're against people who are pressured by pressure? What?

 

[rob_just_rob]

i only started that thread as curiosity!

If nobody has said so before, welcome to LPSG. :smile:

 

[Lordpendragon]

I've always wondered if people can't live freely in their relationships, then where can they?

It's probably all about levels of compromise in a relationship and definitions of freedom. In your mind, would be my answer, Gone A.

Anyway, I have slept on this, and had some great sex, thank you thank you (No anal :smile: ).

There is a very good question amongst the wreckage.

What is the growth in anal sex amongst heterosexuals all about? Please. I said growth - it was always going on and I think that we can agree that it has been moving to the "mainstream" in the last five years.

There are those who have strong opinions about hetero men.

There are those who have strong opinions about gay men talking about heteros.

Most of us get worked up if we think that someone is having a go.

But, we have women who would leave a partner if they don't do anal with them, and probably more men who are leaving because women won't do anal.

As a hetero man, I think it is a fair question to ask - what is it with anal with you guys these days? There are at least three answers. The first is easy for me, I love pussies 24/7 and am not inclined to do it but have because it was requested. Second, also easy, my partner requestes it and I enjoy it. Now we come to the problem areas and the sometimes not so pretty face of the male sexual psyche with answers from - I feel that I can only dominate her with anal, I like abusing her, to the it's in the porn I watch.

I have to concede that it is sometimes part of hetero male psyche to want to dominate during sex to a greater or lesser extent.

So it is a very fair point to question what hetero men think they are doing if they are the ones initiating and then persisting with anal if it is'nt really desired by their female partner. Of course, if their partners find that they like it or already know they do, then there isn't an issue, so long as the guy is happy with it. My other questions were about the initiation process.

It would also be very fair for hetero women to ask, what's wrong with my pussy if he is so obsessed with anal? Is it me, my pussy or him?

I think that this is what Strozo was getting at in his inimitable style and stance and not surprisingly, it is misunderstood.

 

[Gisella]

There is a very good question amongst the wreckage.

What is the growth in anal sex amongst heterosexuals all about? Please. I said growth - it was always going on and I think that we can agree that it has been moving to the "mainstream" in the last five years.

If you live in a society that still see it as a taboo or associate it as gay practice and AIDS, you may see it a new thing invading...to others is part of lovemaking for long time.

I told before that in my original country is a practice being going on for a while and if there is any growing going on is because the population are growing people getting mature to have sex..and seems my assupmtions by just living there and etc were right bcause of surveys being made already...:wink: Than seems that 50% urban households are having it and 40% of rural households are doing it too...and this is going on before internet porn influences for sure...and at least about USA there was a survey in Rebook magazine too with 100,000 married women. Than is good to check the original survey to have an ideia.

I found the statystics in the link below and it belongs to "Exotic Techniques" rolleyes: yeh, right!) Lovemaking from behind...

http://www.askmen.com/love/love_tip/sextip20.html

But as the article iniciate...I agree that anal eroticism is very old old practice...some get pleasure from it others do not..but anything that is forceful impose are no good...its rape to me.

 

[Lordpendragon]

I found the statystics in the link below and it belongs to "Exotic Techniques" rolleyes: yeh, right!) Lovemaking from behind...

http://www.askmen.com/love/love_tip/sextip20.html

But as the article iniciate...I agree that anal eroticism is very old old practice...some get pleasure from it others do not..but anything that is forceful impose are no good...its rape to me.

Thanks for the link Gisella. You have to take a survey of 100,000 women seriously. 43% had tried anal and of those 40% had enjoyed it to a greater or lesser extent.

We don't know whether the 57% who hadn't tried it had not because it had not occured to them or simply they did not wish to for whatever reason.

You can only conclude that 17% of women (less than 1 in 5) will want anal and at what regularity is another question not covered.

As a hetero guy, I read this and conclude that anal with women is a minority desire and therefore I should not expect it and certianly I shouldn't push it.

You are right to point out different cultures Gisella, I was really only talking about my own western culture.

 

[Gisella]

Thanks for the link Gisella. You have to take a survey of 100,000 women seriously. 43% had tried anal and of those 40% had enjoyed it to a greater or lesser extent.

We don't know whether the 57% who hadn't tried it had not because it had not occured to them or simply they did not wish to for whatever reason.

You can only conclude that 17% of women (less than 1 in 5) will want anal and at what regularity is another question not covered.

As a hetero guy, I read this and conclude that anal with women is a minority desire and therefore I should not expect it and certianly I shouldn't push it.

You are right to point out different cultures Gisella, I was really only talking about my own western culture.

Yeh..I understand but western cultures are kind of strange...:biggrin1: even the western 1stworld ones we see it by that strange sex law links and that 'somody' practices against the law was not only anal sex was a 'nono' but oral sex too...:tongue:

I dont know really what is going on inside of the make up of societies and their puritanics views about things..like you have all freedom do talk about all things and cant choose to lovemaking the way you want...but for sure people are trying things inside their bedrooms even if the law say its illegal.

I really dont understand, if anyone who are freely participating in those practices why people have to care...and many are still being kind of pressure by many things outside influences, and what they really dont want for themselves at least in that moment...I felt pressured to be sexualy active as a teen. But I belive that if you leave 'nature' to take it curses naturally without pressures we are going to have fun and really keep discoverying things at our own personal and individual paces.

The only thing I think we have to give people is the tools to have safe sex and anatomy classes and things like that, from a neutral perspective 'root'. Neutral as possible. at least.. :biggrin1:

 

[joyboytoy79]

I think this is a moot topic. Whenever we talk about sexual activity there is some level of pressure going on from one of the partners. I know the first time i performed oral sex it was out of pressure from a partner. I wasn't sure i wanted to do it. I thought of it as a form of submission.

Surely, oral sex is more submissive in nature than anal sex. So why is there such a big deal about women having anal sex? I would like to piont out that anal sex has been practiced amongst both male and female recipients for as far back as history extends. There are references to heterosexual anal intercourse in mesopotamia, china, egypt, india, greece, and rome.

Now, to answer why some women actually CRAVE anal sex: this is lifted directly from wiki "Generally, for women, pleasure is derived through anal intercourse due to the shared nerve endings that are located between the rectal wall and the vagina, and/or from indirect stimulation of the G-spot. The anus itself contains many nerves as well, which can also react in a pleasurable manner when excited." It makes sence to me, that if it feels good, one should do it. I know many a top who likes the feeling of "dominating" me. What do i do? I play along with his silly game. I like being fucked, and if it will make him feel better to "dominate" me, who cares? We're both having fun!

IF a woman performs a sexual act, anal or otherwise, out of fear there is a problem. It is THEN and only THEN that there is a problem. Women are just as capable of pressuring men into sex as men are of women. Pressure is not a problem, as it is often just one or the other partner asserting their sexual desires. It is when the pressure is coupled with consequences that things start to get bad. "if you don't let me fuck you up the ass i'm going to slap you." "If you don't let me fuck you up the ass i will through you out of the house." These are examples of coersion. It is quite different from "aww, c'mon, i really wanna try it!" or "how do you know you don't like it if we've never done it" Ultimately, unless a strong negative consequence is attached to the refusal, it is still within the woman's power to say "no."