Anger Management

[Rikter8]

Lately I've not been able to handle my anger very well.
Ive gone into violent shakes, and fits because I get overwhelmed in how badly things are fucked up in this world, down to right here at home.
World View of our country as a joke because of a corrupt administration.
The "New way of doing business" which is make the customer come back 10 times before its right.
Doctors and lawyers making their own rules because they have the money.
Piss poor drivers that make the commute unbearable.
the list goes on.

Whats your technique for keeing your anger in check?

 

[HazelGod]

Whats your technique for keeing your anger in check?

Sex, yoga, waterskiing, masturbation, SCUBA diving, sex, taekwondo, billiards, sex, internet fora, skydiving, sex, redheads...

 

[onlygettinbigger]

Is the scar on your forehead burning because it might just be you know who?

In all seriousness though, I deal with my frustration by developing what I feel woudl be the solutions to the problems I get frustrated with. By the time I come up with a solution ( a real solution not just blowing everyone up or something) I am calm and I have worked my brain out so I feel better than I did before.

 

[Pecker]

Since the days of being physically abused as a child I've learned to retreat within myself and separate myself from things that make me anxious. Unfortunately it doesn't solve many problems and it has resulted in a degree of depression. Therefore, I'm not very confrontational.

Rikter, you need to talk a professional about this. Start with your family doctor. He may be able to make recommendations for counseling/medication.

 

[Rikter8]

Start with your family doctor. He may be able to make recommendations for counseling/medication.

Started that Venture in 1996 my friend. Still searchin.
I appreciate the advice though. You are wise beyond your years.

 

[arliss]

walking the track, boxing, PS2, working out at the gym, talking it out...but I have to say this ..talking it out does not always help and may even lead to the situation getting worse..fo example..talking to the Mods and Co-administrators here about the TOS is a waste of time....I have found that the TOS is applied selectively when trying to weed out..it does not apply to everyone...so many times I have seen people bring up examples of others violating the TOS and clearly nothing is done...and to complain or point out things to the moderting staff or the Co-administrators is a joke at best...they do nothing more than pacify you or give you a diplomatic response...so talking does not always help....my best advice to you would be to go outdoors and take a brisk walk or find a good punching bag...preferrably a non human one

 

[ZOS23xy]

You seem to be thinking of material outside of your self to worry about. The material you worry about is that same as what I deal with. I have inner calm. The clown with an issue can upset me, but once he is gone I am back to myself. You seem to carry those folks with you the rest of the day. They seem to weigh a lot, but that weight is in your mind.

Lest I be thought of as some kind of Shaolin sensi (to garble history and linguistics), I have done much meditation and discipline and study.

What Pecker suggests is good. Perhaps you need some outside help to ease your inner pain. I have done the same thing in the past. Hazelgod also had good ideas. (I did marry a redhead, but that's not a realistic goal here) An interst. A discipline. A goal oriented effort. I'm not sure what Arliss is going on about....

I exercise, I saw wood. I throw I Ching. I medidtate. I read a lot. I also do that hand man thing. And sex. But I think you want to go beyond your days, outside the lines you work with, to not feel small when some person with issues takes exception and you're the one who just happens to be there.

Type back. Create a flow of thoughts and ideas.

 

[Dave NoCal]

What I do these days is STOP, BREATHE.

Rikter, is this different from before? What I'm getting at is whether there is some new underlying cause. If so, it could be a physical health thing or some sort of upsetting life event.
I don't put much stock in the concept of roid rage but I know you have been using testosterone gel. Has your tesoterone level been checked recently? You have described some other symptoms that seem unusual for one so young. I know that before I was treated for Lyme disease, I had developed a hair-trigger temper. Anything could set me off. I would confront anyone and I didn't care if I got killed in a fight. Scarey. That was very different from my usual fairly calm and logical disposition. When people's thyroid levels are too high, they can become very edgy and easily irritated. These are jsut some examples.
Similarly, one symptom of depression is irritability. Some people seem to struggle with chronic low-grade depression (dysthimic disorder) and are vulnerable to getting triggered into full fledged depressive episodes by upsetting events such as major losses.
Pecker's suggestion of seeing your doctor is a good one. Alternately, there are such things as anger management classes. I hope this gets better for you soon.
Dave

 

[Shiningdog]

Move from that hellhole (Michigan) to Chicago and convert to a Bears Fan!

 

[Mem]

Lately I've not been able to handle my anger very well.
Ive gone into violent shakes, and fits because I get overwhelmed in how badly things are fucked up in this world, down to right here at home.
World View of our country as a joke because of a corrupt administration.
The "New way of doing business" which is make the customer come back 10 times before its right.
Doctors and lawyers making their own rules because they have the money.
Piss poor drivers that make the commute unbearable.
the list goes on.

Whats your technique for keeing your anger in check?

I get upset and angry, but I don't get stark raving mad. I've never wanted to punch the wall, like some people do.

You can't let the things in the world get to you. You can not worry over somethinkg that you didn't do or something you have control over.

I am not a super religious person but when I am close to losing it I find the best thing to do is pray.

Also be aware of what mood you are in, if you are in a bad mood be aware of it and try not to let things set you off.

I've had co-workers that are only happy when they are miserable. They think they own the road. They are only happy when they are complaining.

Your violent shakes and fits will only get you in a hospital or will lead you to be arrested.

maybe google "tips on anger management."

Good luck

 

[mattyacht]

The shakes? WOW!!! I've been pushed into a dimension of pissed off that I never dreamed I would be but never got the shakes. You might need medication like atavan (Lorazapam). Trust me, you won't have a care in the world. I'm not doctor though.

 

[SpeedoGuy]

Sorry to hear you're going through such pain, Rikter.

There was a time a few years ago when I sought medical help due to the physical problems I was suffering: back pain, indigestion, insomnia, fatigue and others I never imagined I would suffer from. The MD found no physical problems for my pain but instead asked me if I was under stress. I realized then how much anger I was withholding from all the things I saw happening around me in a manner much as you described above. At his advice, I began regular counseling.

Counseling helped. Since then my problems have improved and my outlook is much more positive. I suspect it will help you as well.

Also, a friend recommended this book and I was surprised at how much it was able to help me put things into perspective.

PM if you want to talk more.

Good luck

SG

 

[B_New End]

Reading buddhist literature
decide to focus on yourself, and not the world.

I spent my whole life angry... except the past few months. I decided to give up politics. I have seen enough corruption, waste and murder to know those people are evil.

Take the bus. The longer your driving commute, the shorter your life, this has been proven. Driving stress is killer, raises stress levels terribly, but people don't notice, because their bodies adapt... but they still will burst out in road rage. If you can, walk to the store, just to buy some candy, or beer, or wine. Freesh air.

Michigan has a lot of beautiful country. Get out into it and relax, alone. If you can, get to the rocky mountains. They can really make you feel insignificant... which you are. You have doen your part, you are educated, and you can cast an educated vote... that is about as much as a small* man like yourself can do.

Life isn't fair. Some people know how to be happy, and some do not. Be glad you are no longer one of those who do not. Sucks to be them.

*I mean unless you are a powerful CEO or politician, you really don't have much say about what happens in the world.

 

[Rikter8]

Counseling helped. Since then my problems have improved and my outlook is much more positive. I suspect it will help you as well. Also, a friend recommended

this book and I was surprised at how much it was able to help me put things into perspective.
SG

Thanks I ordered a used copy off of Amazon.
My biggest problem is finding one to help. Most here require you to see the therapists "assistant" before you can see the actual doctor. It's been a fiasco in its own light. I probably should go back to the one I was seeing. He wasn't much help, but mabee we can take it to the next level.

Move from that hellhole (Michigan) to Chicago and convert to a Bears Fan!

I am seriously considering Pulling up roots from MI and moving to another part of the country. As soon as I get my bachelors, which is next year, I'm going to make a move of some sort.

The shakes? WOW!!! I've been pushed into a dimension of pissed off that I never dreamed I would be but never got the shakes. You might need medication like atavan (Lorazapam). Trust me, you won't have a care in the world. I'm not doctor though.

A few weeks ago was the worst Ive ever had. So much so, I think i was going into a seizure fit while driving. How I made it through that traffic is a miracle, but I was so pissed off, I wasnt about to let that caddy shove me off the road, especially when he instigated it intentionally.
Ive had them a few other times, but nothing like the caddy incident.
School started up and my social anxiety kicked in the worst ever.
On monday before class, I had to go to the bookstore. The whole way there, I was driving, with the AC on MAX to try to keep me cool and perspirant free. I walked into the lower commons of the school and began to perspire horridly. By the time I got to the bookstore, my shirt was beginning to get moist, and my forehead beading. I grabbed my book and quickly got in line. God the heat in the bookstore didn't help. I sat there trembling, waiting anxiously...somebody...anybody...please lets go...why cant we go... there arent enough people...
Then one of the gal's said "I can help you over here. I could feel the redness of my face and the embarrasment of my shirt being near soaked with sweat didnt help. People staring at me. pointing. Laughing.
I left and went into my class. There I sat, red faced, trying to dry out as the group stared at me.
Day 2 wasn’t much better I went to the bookstore again, for supplies and the second time was worse. I thought I was going to collapse. I lost all my breath walking out into the courtyard, and wanted to fall down. I lost all energy and my knees got weak.

An anxiety attack on grand scale is what it is. Sitting at home, I can identify, but the other external things compound the issues worse.
Like why people were laughing at me in class when I got up to grab the weight scale for our lab experiment. It probably was my perspiration that made people look and laugh.
But there’s more things externally in life that set me off.
Like why I have to re-do and re-do things over again, incurring thousands of dollars in cost, while other people just do it once, and life is happy.
Ugh..theres so many different things… I would bore you to death with all of them….drama drama drama..
Mabee it’s just me. Mabee I DO have the worst luck in the universe, and my emotions are at their breaking point.

 

[IntoxicatingToxin]

A cigarette. :biggrin:

 

[Rikter8]

I don't put much stock in the concept of roid rage but I know you have been using testosterone gel. Has your tesoterone level been checked recently?
Dave

Dave, I was like this before the Androgel, but not this bad. The last time I had it checked I was in the "lower 20's", up from 11 or so. So, still low end of the scale where supposedly 80s were the top end. It's different for everybody, but could be. But last that I knew, it was still lower than the average male.

I'm going to call tomorrow and see if there are Yoga classes available. This is what my first good therapist had suggested. (He told me do NOT take martial arts, because he was very afraid I would kill someone accidentally LOL, oops)
I'll let you know if they laugh at me, or tell me that I can't participate because I'm a man.
(bitches are just jealous because I look better poured into a pair of tights)

 

[invisibleman]

You aren't alone in your anger. I may be fun and games at times on LPSG...but I think that is a mask I wear. I get angry at a lot of things too. If I could, I could find a reason to be angry.

Speaking for myself, the best thing for your anger...is to ask yourself "Is this truly worth wasting my energy on being frustrated over this?" and "What is it that I wanted to happen? Did I have any real power over that?"

There are a lot of things in this world that aren't in your control. I sure don't have all the answers for the crazy stuff that happens. All I know is that we are participants in this life. I just wanna have some fun. If people are busy being fighting and killing (escalation of hatred), that isn't fun in my book. I am going to try and have some fun. Life is too short.

 

[Ethyl]

I'm going to call tomorrow and see if there are Yoga classes available. This is what my first good therapist had suggested. (He told me do NOT take martial arts, because he was very afraid I would kill someone accidentally LOL, oops)
I'll let you know if they laugh at me, or tell me that I can't participate because I'm a man.
(bitches are just jealous because I look better poured into a pair of tights)

Yoga rocks. Try Tai Chi. Something with a meditative quality done regularly is essential for me.