Anger Management

Discussion in 'Funny Stuff: Jokes, Quizzes, Games & Pics' started by jakeatolla, Feb 21, 2008.

  1. jakeatolla

    Gold Member

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    I know this is not real, but Its funny as hell...... as the old saying goes,
    the classics never die....



    ANGER MANAGEMENT

    When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it
    out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on
    someone you don't know.

    I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I'd forgotten to
    make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered, saying: "Hello."

    I politely said, "This is Chris. Could I please speak with Robyn Carter?"

    Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear "Get the right ----number!"
    and the phone was slammed down on me. I couldn't believe that anyone could
    be so rude. When I tracked down Robyn's correct number to call her, I
    found that I had accidentally transposed the last two digits.

    After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again.

    When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled "You're an asshole!" and
    hung up. I wrote his number down with the word 'asshole' next to it, and
    put it in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had
    a really bad day, I'd call him up and yell, "You're an asshole!"

    It always cheered me up.

    When Caller ID was introduced, I thought my therapeutic 'asshole' calling
    would have to stop. So, I called his number and said, "Hi, this is John
    Smith from the telephone company. I'm calling to see if you're familiar
    with our Caller ID Program?"

    He yelled "NO!" and slammed down the phone. I quickly called him back and
    said, "That's because you're an asshole!" and hung up.

    One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot. Some
    guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had patiently
    waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I'd been waiting for that spot,
    but the idiot ignored me. I noticed a "For Sale" sign in his back window,
    so
    I wrote down his number. A couple of days later, right after calling the
    first asshole (I had his number on speed dial) I thought that I'd better
    call the BMW asshole, too.

    I said, "Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?"

    He said, "Yes, it is." I asked, "Can you tell me where I can see it?" He
    said, "Yes, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd, in Fairfax. It's a yellow rancher,
    and the car's parked right out in front."

    I asked, "What's your name?" He said, "My name is Don Hansen."

    I asked, "When's a good time to catch you, Don?"

    He said, "I'm home every evening after five."

    I said, "Listen, Don, can I tell you something?"

    He said , "Yes?"

    I said, "Don, you're an asshole!" Then I hung up, and added his number to
    my speed dial, too. Now, when I had a problem, I had two assholes to call.

    Then I came up with an idea. I called asshole #1.

    He said, "Hello."

    I said, "You're an asshole!" (But I didn't hang up.)

    He asked, "Are you still there?"

    I said, "Yeah."

    He screamed, "Stop calling me."

    I said, "Make me."

    He asked, "Who are you?"

    I said, "My name is Don Hansen."

    He said, "Yeah? Where do you live?"

    I said, "Asshole, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd , in Fairfax, a yellow rancher,
    I have a black Beamer parked in front."

    He said, "I'm coming over right now, Don. And you had better start saying
    your prayers."

    I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, asshole," and hung up.

    Then I called Asshole #2.

    He said, "Hello?"

    I said, "Hello, asshole,"

    He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are..."

    I said, "You'll what?"

    He exclaimed, "I'll kick your ass!"

    I answered, "Well, asshole, you're going to get your chance. I'm coming
    over there right now."

    Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived at
    34
    Oaktree Blvd, in Fairfax, and that I was on my way over there to kill my
    gay lover.

    Then I called Channel 9 News about the gang war going down in Oaktree Blvd
    in Fairfax ..

    I quickly got into my car and headed over to Fairfax. I got there just in
    time to watch two assholes beating the crap out of each other in front of
    six cop cars, an overhead news helicopter and surrounded by a news crew.


    NOW I feel much better. Anger management really does work.

     
  2. starter

    starter New Member

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    hahah that's good...long and drawn out but still good.
     
  3. Not_Punny

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    That was frigging hilarious!!!
     
  4. SpeedoMike

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    that's why I never answer the phone...
     
  5. Rugbypup

    Gold Member

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    Fuck anger managment, I dont have a bad temper, and i'll fucking kill every last one of you mother fucking sons of bitches that says I have! lol.

    Axe + head = BAM / dead! lol
     
  6. lttlgrllst

    lttlgrllst New Member

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    Very funny! Maybe I need to try this kind of anger management.:rolleyes:
     
  7. B_dumbcow

    B_dumbcow New Member

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    :smile:
     
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