Annoying human etiquette.

avatarng

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I hated it when I am in a Lesbian bar with my lesbian friends and have some of the lesbians staring me down or ask me what the hell am I doing in the lesbian bar.
Why is it okay for them to hang out in any gay bars but not willing to share their own lesbian bar???
Damn human or wait some lesbian!!!!
 

_Jonesy

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We shouldn't have to oppress ourselves.
Oh man that is far from what it is. I don't know exactly how you executed telling her but as others have said before me I get the vibe it came across as a hint you might want to date guys. She could be worried you aren't attracted to her anymore and saying that she is beautiful every single day won't make a difference because it will have lost it's meaning if said too often.

You should find another way to reassure her. It isn't human etiquette in my opinion, it is making her feel loved and most of all, lovable.
 

HUNGHUGE11X7

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I think it's great that you were actually honest, though not brutally honest with her..... enough to spare her feelings but also let her know where you stand.
So many women are NOT afforded that same consideration to the detriment of marriages and sometimes even lives.
Not sure how long you and she have been together but it was better you did this now then to let her continue with a sense of absolute security with you.
You have done your part, now she needs to decide if she is ok with what you have told her and if she wants to continue with the relationship and if she does then she needs to define for herself what that relationship will be.


GNOTHI SEAUTON
HH
 

Mr_Ri0t

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Thanks, folks. :) Really appreciate these thoughts and constructive criticisms.

We've been together, off and on, for about three years. She's so fucking awesme.

When I told her that, she'd asked me to label the units of that ratio, calm and normal. I can't just lie to her because she may not want to hear that I feel a bit gayer than I do straight, that's bullshit!

I've told her before though, I could never leave her FOR someone else...we have too much, we've been through too much, and we're too close and important to one another for me to run off with someone else.

Besides, I'd much rather bring home a hot boy and double team her. ;B
 

redneckgymrat

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When I told her that, she'd asked me to label the units of that ratio, calm and normal. I can't just lie to her because she may not want to hear that I feel a bit gayer than I do straight, that's bullshit!

No one in this thread has suggested lying. In fact, my original answer was to be completely honest with her.

But, be aware that *how* you say something is often as important, and sometimes even more important, than what you're saying. In politics, it'd be called "spin."

By all means, tell her the truth. But, spin it in such a way that she is special and wonderful and that you love her. You. Love. Her. Period.
 

concupisys

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this thread makes me so glad i am 100% gay.... it's complicated enough just being interested in one gender, i don't know what i would do if another gender were to enter in to my sexual equation....

this is only my opinion, but in the case of bisexuality i don't think that the percentages should ever come in to it.... bisexuals that i've known who have ultimately gone on to pursue long term relationships have no gauge themselves as to what gender they will fall in to that with, and it's not fair to anyone to put a heavier weight on one side or the other in that matter.... at the end of the day, who you fall in love with is who you fall in love with.... and of the bisexuals i've known in this situation, nobody knows until it actually happens....

to the OP: you just keep loving your girl as much as you do.... if it's right, it will grow and nothing else will matter....
 

rbkwp

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Yes
its interesting this, as to how much you should tell your partner, or not
some would say your a cheater and liar if you dont tell them everything ... of your heart & soul, or if you DO tell them..?

LPSG is quite bad for this conflicting info .. but that's the way it is with us i geuss

then again if you mention something, and as you say how you mention it, can be misconstrued etc
interesting
 

CalmAndCreative

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Haven't posted/commented in a while. This seems as good a thread to jump into as any.

Truth and honesty (but not cruelty) are what we should be striving for in all our relationships. People deserve to be able to make informed decisions about the people they are in relationships with. When it's relevant to the relationship I tell people everything they need to know in order to know what they are getting into.

I am attracted not to gender but to the person. Neither ALL men nor ALL women "do it for me". This is a concept I've had some trouble getting across to some individuals.

They aren't in competition for my affection with anyone but themselves. Each person I meet either there's some mutual attraction or there isn't. My liking them doesn't preclude me liking someone else. (I like both vanilla and chocolate ice cream why should I have to forgo one because I like the other.. unless I'm the one that chooses to?) I want them to be the best and truest version of themselves they can be. As I try to be for me. That way all attractions are based on the real persons involved and not false projections or distortions designed to appeal to others. (If I wanted a doormat I'd be shopping at home depot) And if they are interested in me great, if they loose interest in me because I change, no problem.
 

badger2395

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Been together with my female partner for...hmmm....30 years. During that time we've been in a three-person primary relationship with another woman (lasted 2 years), and also dated other men and women, sometimes together, sometimes individually. I am currently seeing a younger guy; he and my other SO are friends and like to hang out together.

Just got done calling both of them, before winding down for the day. I guess what i am trying to say is that if you are honest and you have trust built up between you, it is possible to maintain a happy, loving relationship when you are bisexual.
 

spoon

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Thanks, folks. :) Really appreciate these thoughts and constructive criticisms.

We've been together, off and on, for about three years. She's so fucking awesme.

When I told her that, she'd asked me to label the units of that ratio, calm and normal. I can't just lie to her because she may not want to hear that I feel a bit gayer than I do straight, that's bullshit!

I've told her before though, I could never leave her FOR someone else...we have too much, we've been through too much, and we're too close and important to one another for me to run off with someone else.

Besides, I'd much rather bring home a hot boy and double team her. ;B


have you told her instead of us: "She's so fucking awesme. "
 

HoldenGreat

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We shouldn't have to oppress ourselves.

I completely agree with you... no you should never have to oppress yourself and it's good that she knows who you are and what you are into. Too many people play games and are dishonest. That would be ten times worse that you never tell her. If she has a problem with you're sexuality better she knows now then 6 months or year down the road and feels like you're a liar and hates you for it.

I applaud you good sir.