Another advice topic

Fenris11

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Hi there,
first of all cheers for bearing with me and reading this through.

I am a gay guy, nearing 30. When I was 14/15 years old I was very good friends with a guy who was a year or two older than myself.
We maintained a close friendship at the time, even though unbeknownst to him I was completely besotted with him. I really cared about him, more than just being his friend.
But nothing came of it as I always assumed he was straight, although the subject of sexuality never came up. I was never secrative about my sexuality around him, he knew I was gay. It was just never an issue or point of discussion.
In recent years I have had sporadic contact with him, last of my knowledge he had a girlfriend.
Very recently we got back in touch via a popular social media website, only for me to find out he is now openly gay.
After a little discussion I asked if he wanted to meet up to catch up and reminisce, as friends.
I did make the mistake of admitting, in jest, that I used to really like him.

Upon reflecting I do actually still carry a flame for him, as he was my first real crush. And I would really like to meet up with him and see where it goes.
He did say he is currently seeing someone, so I merely said we should meet up as friends. As I don't have many..or well any gay friends.

This was a few days ago and he has not responded to this even though he has posted other things on said website since, and it does say he has read the message.
I am unsure what to do from here.
Do I message him again, leave it for a while and try again in a few weeks?
Or just leave it to him to contact me?

Please advise further....if I have missed anything or you want to ask please go ahead
 

ericlane

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To constantly remind a guy of what they promised ,is kinda like the insecure girlfriend, (a turn off) be confident bro that he wants to be around you just as much as you want to be around him.
 

DavyJay85

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I would follow up him just just to see if he wants to catch up as friends. Sometimes on those "very popular social media" sites, people will read a message, intend to respond, get distracted, and then go on with their day thinking they actually responded when in fact they never did. Lol. It's weird, I know. So just a one more courtesy reminder (aka a "Hey man, I sent you message a few days ago but didn't hear anything back. Would you like to grab lunch and catch up?") would be fine.

DISCLAIMER: Now if the same thing happens again, just move on and let him respond to you in his time. Don't make a big deal about it because like @ericlane said, you don't wanna be insecure girlfriend.

Just my 2¢
 

Fenris11

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Cheers for your responses, both make a whole lot of sense. Sometimes when you are in the situation you can't help but fear the worst, it's always good to get an outside perspective.

I will leave it for a few days and send him that reminder message :biggrin1:
 

Fenris11

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If you know his email, give him your phone number and see if he gives his back to you.

Well we are friends on a social media website.
I am unsure whether I should send him a message along the lines of 'Not heard back from your for a few days, just wondering if you were still up for meeting/catching up. Let me know' and if I should put my number there or just leave it as an online message and see if he gets back to me..?
I know it makes little difference either way...
 

Fenris11

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*Update*
Ok so I have sent him a message on social media website...this perticular site allows you to see if the message has been read or 'seen', which is has been. Two days later no reply and no text message.
I am going to leave him to it for a few weeks and try again in a while.
Although he is in a relationship he has been a popular gay 'dating' website with a profile that says he is single...makes one wonder :cool: