another im in love with a straight guy thread (advice plz)

palegreenthings

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it started when i met him earlier this year at a party. we randomly started talking and he would flirt by putting his arm around my waist and grabbing my hand to follow where ever he would go. i didnt really think anything of it because he was a tiny bit drunk,i forgot about him. then about a month later at another party he shows up and comes up to me and says my name and i was giddy because he remember me and then hes like "aw you forgot my name" i didnt really though. we spent the rest of the night talking on a couch and he seems really into the conversation, he asks me for my # and we plan to hangout sometime.

i didnt hear from him for a week or so. we started talking online and we would chat until 4 am.he called me a couple of times really late asking me what i was doing or how i felt, which was a little weird.we also text frequently.he planned on picking me up to go out but he never did,it happened twice actually.when we finally meet up he brings along a female friend.i was kinda hurt cause i thought itd be just me and him also because i was the 3rd wheel basically.we were alone for 20 minutes and we hardly spoke it was actually really awkward.especially because we talk sooo much online/through text.

i see him 2 other times randomly and we just say hi to eachother and do our own thing.
hes always really persistent on wanting to see me,and the last time we saw eachother he gave me a gift, completely out of no where which was a sweet gesture.
hes offered to let me sleep over his house even though we havent seriously hungout more than once.i am not completely masculine manly man.sooo im sure he has some sort of idea that im into him since i do harmless flirting.

i do know he had a gf before for about 2 yrs or so.

WHAT SHOULD I DO?
(sorry if its a long read)
 

Late Knight

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If I were you, I would go at the relationship slow, but steady. Follow his lead and if he seems to not know what direction to go just give him a gental nudge in the way you want it to go. You might be surprised, he may just need a little encouragement from you. Being a manly man isn't as important as just being a man. Show him how you care.
 

rimmer9

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You'll have to be patiant. Maybe he's unsure of his feelings or even fighting them, if you try to rush him he may back off completely. You are the only one who knows if it's worth taking it slowly and if things are still the same in a couple of months you can take the risk of asking what he's doing. Just don't invest everything in this in case it doesn't work out.
 

Principessa

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it started when i met him earlier this year at a party. we randomly started talking and he would flirt by putting his arm around my waist and grabbing my hand to follow where ever he would go. i didnt really think anything of it because he was a tiny bit drunk, Uhm, I hate to burst your bubble; but he isn't 100% straight. Most people show their true self when inebriated. i forgot about him. then about a month later at another party he shows up and comes up to me and says my name and i was giddy because he remember me and then hes like "aw you forgot my name" i didnt really though. we spent the rest of the night talking on a couch and he seems really into the conversation, he asks me for my # and we plan to hangout sometime. Okay sounds good. *SNIP* hes always really persistent on wanting to see me, and the last time we saw each other he gave me a gift, completely out of no where which was a sweet gesture. Was that to make up for bringing that girl along previously? hes offered to let me sleep over his house even though we havent seriously hungout more than once. Do you have roommates? Does he live alone? Maybe he wants to make his move on familiar territory. i am not completely masculine manly man. sooo im sure he has some sort of idea that im into him since i do harmless flirting. i do know he had a gf before for about 2 yrs or so. I am good friends with a man who was bisexual but more gay in his teens and 20's, married a man for 10 years; and has now been married to a woman for almost 2 years. WHAT SHOULD I DO? (sorry if its a long read)[/

#1 Don't feel guilty about lusting after a straight man because he isn't he is bi. Maybe gay eventually; but Bi for now.
#2 Spend the night at his place. Pack condoms, a change of clothes and a toothbrush. I don't think you will be needing pajamas. :wink:
 

palegreenthings

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You'll have to be patiant. Maybe he's unsure of his feelings or even fighting them, if you try to rush him he may back off completely. You are the only one who knows if it's worth taking it slowly and if things are still the same in a couple of months you can take the risk of asking what he's doing. Just don't invest everything in this in case it doesn't work out.
yeah thats what i was thinking but he is so hot/cold.the times ive seen him weve just been around eachother and hardly talked.but other wise its completely different,im so confuuused.in a couple of months he might move to another state.
 

palegreenthings

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it started when i met him earlier this year at a party. we randomly started talking and he would flirt by putting his arm around my waist and grabbing my hand to follow where ever he would go. i didnt really think anything of it because he was a tiny bit drunk, Uhm, I hate to burst your bubble; but he isn't 100% straight. Most people show their true self when inebriated. i forgot about him. then about a month later at another party he shows up and comes up to me and says my name and i was giddy because he remember me and then hes like "aw you forgot my name" i didnt really though. we spent the rest of the night talking on a couch and he seems really into the conversation, he asks me for my # and we plan to hangout sometime. Okay sounds good. *SNIP* hes always really persistent on wanting to see me, and the last time we saw each other he gave me a gift, completely out of no where which was a sweet gesture. Was that to make up for bringing that girl along previously? hes offered to let me sleep over his house even though we havent seriously hungout more than once. Do you have roommates? Does he live alone? Maybe he wants to make his move on familiar territory. i am not completely masculine manly man. sooo im sure he has some sort of idea that im into him since i do harmless flirting. i do know he had a gf before for about 2 yrs or so. I am good friends with a man who was bisexual but more gay in his teens and 20's, married a man for 10 years; and has now been married to a woman for almost 2 years. WHAT SHOULD I DO? (sorry if its a long read)[/

#1 Don't feel guilty about lusting after a straight man because he isn't he is bi. Maybe gay eventually; but Bi for now.
#2 Spend the night at his place. Pack condoms, a change of clothes and a toothbrush. I don't think you will be needing pajamas. :wink:
hm i hope he does like me.i thought it was drunken flirting because i didnt want to get my hopes high.
haha i dont think he even has an idea that i felt hurt when he decided not to hangout.but the gift was really nice and i think he was a little drunk that night also. i told him he was really nice and he was like "youre really nice too :)" i dont even know why cause i havent gone out of my way to do anything for him
id like to sleep over his house just to see how things are when we're alone if we get a long and feel more at ease with eachother.lol i doubt anything wild will happen.
 

sdbg

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I don't think you will be needing pajamas. :wink:
L.M.A.O. Good one!

Hey Palegreenthings:

I've had this come up repeatedly in life where I have crushes on straight guys. Here is what my experience has been.

The first time it happened, we were lovers for 6 years. Then he married, had 3 kids, and divorced. Ironically, our paths crossed years later after he recently married for a second time. He has expressed an interest in fooling around, but I want more than to be someones action on the side. No, we'll just be friends. I like his wife and wouldn't get involved with her man regardless of our past.

The next time, I was 40; he was 21. We were best friends. It felt like history repeating itself. I became obsessed with him. Talk about a fatal attraction. I hid it from him, though. After a few years, he left San Diego and we stayed in touch. I caused myself a lot of pain and heartache through the years chasing after someone who I knew just wanted to be my friend. After 15 years of stuffing my feelings inside, I saw Brokeback Mountain in April '06. My friend was now 36; I was 55. He invited me to come visit in WA in June '06. I got the courage to be honest and tell him candidly about the past when he lived in San Diego. He said that he kinda thought that I was sweet on him back then, but never really knew because I wouldn't talk about it. I made it perfectly clear that I wasn't hitting on him - I just wanted to let him know how I valued him as a friend. The vacation went fine, or so I thought. When I got home from Seattle, he e-mailed me and said "I can't help but feel that we're moving in different directions." I never heard from him again. My honest opinion is that he's a closet case and I'm the catalyst. Oh well! On to the next guy. Maybe I'll have better luck next time!

For me the moral of the story is: Don't waste your time getting hung up on straight guys. I like the butch, macho, jock type, but ofen they are emotionally and sexually unavailable. Good luck Palegreenthings.
 

palegreenthings

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how do you know that he's straight?

Try to put some feelers out there about how he feels about bisexuality or homosexuality. Maybe he's not as straight as you think. If he is, don't push it, move on.
hm he had a girlfriend for 2 years or something.he also mentions how hot so and so is...
then again it can just be an act.
 

B_RedDude

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Your bud is ambivalent, but definitely not 100% straight -- how many 100% straight guys put their arm around another guy's waist and lead him around by the hand at a party?

I'd take him up on the sleepover offer. Try to overcome your reluctance and inhibition; I think they are blinding you to the reality of this situation (I wouldn't want to get my heart broken either, but at least if you stay over, you'll probably know either way.

I've been in a bit of a similar situation at work over the past three months and I know how difficult and painful this can be.
 

Principessa

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Your bud is ambivalent, but definitely not 100% straight -- how many 100% straight guys put their arm around another guy's waist and lead him around by the hand at a party? That was my tip off that the guy wasn't 100% straight. Straight men don't act like that, even after a 12 pack of beer.:tongue: