Another sad loss

Discussion in 'Et Cetera, Et Cetera' started by SassySpy, Apr 19, 2007.

  1. SassySpy

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    I lost yet another dear friend to AIDS today. He was 46. He was witty, silly, funny, kind, and he fought it to the end. He nearly had me believing he could beat it.
    He grew and shaped some of the most beautiful bonsai I have ever seen, one of which I am holding right now, and will cherish forever.
    Rest in Peace, Mark. I will miss you forever. :kiss:
     
  2. naughty

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    Workin' up a good pot of mad!

    I am so sorry to hear about your friend Sassy. I have lost a number of friends classmates and colleagues from the big A as well. We will just have to live extra well for them.
     
  3. jakeatolla

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    Sorry for your loss Sassy, life can be cruel.
     
  4. Freddie53

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    Sorry to hear of your loss. It is always tough giving up someone that means something to you. Your friends sounds like a person who kept having character to the end. Our sympathies to you.
     
  5. SoLowHung

    SoLowHung New Member

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    It's official, I am now going home and spending some time doing something very meaningful. It's hard to see a friend go and I'm sorry for that.

    May I see your bonsai? I would love to see some of his work.
     
  6. SassySpy

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    thank you all. Am off to visit his partner now- will take pics of bonsai when I return. thank you for your sympathies.
     
  7. invisibleman

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    I lost a few friends as well. I know how you feel.
     
  8. madame_zora

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    Sorry for you loss Sassyspy. I've lost a number of friends myself to various causes, and it's always a painful and hollow feeling.

    I'm sure his partner will be glad for your company, your shared love for your friend will be most welcome.
     
  9. DGirl

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    One day they will be able to give a pill to make it go away. I think.
    But, just know that your friend will not have to hurt ever again. He can be free of taking MEDS and those crazy hospital visits. He is in a place that he can always be happy.
    So wipe your tears away and think about that.
     
  10. B_Think_Kink

    B_Think_Kink New Member

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    He is in peace now Sas, there is no more pain for him. I'm sorry to hear you lost him, but you will have memories, and the bonsai to hold dear forever.
     
  11. fratpack

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    Sorry to hear of your loss...it never seems fair or right when we loose the ones we love. Thankfully he has touched and enriched your life and you will carry that with you. There is comfort in that. Take care.
     
  12. IntoxicatingToxin

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    I hate AIDS. Really, I do. It's such a sad disease, in my opinion. My brother is HIV positive. Hopefully I won't be making a post like this for decades to come.
     
  13. tripod

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    I'm sooo sorry sweetie... keep that bonsai tree up for as long as you can, you can commune with him through your care and maintanence of it. I lost a friend to AIDS too, it was years ago, but I will never forget him... may he rest in peace!!!

    I have a selection I'd like to quote from Shunryu Suzuki, one of the greatest teachers of the last century. This is an excerpt from his book Zen Mind, Beginner's Mind... It's message is VERY enlightening.


    [FONT=verdana,arial]I went to Yosemite National Park, and I saw some huge waterfalls. The highest one there is 1,340 feet high, and from it the water comes down like a curtain thrown from the top of the mountain. It does not seem to come down swiftly, as you might expect; it seems to come down very slowly because of the distance. And the water does not come down as one stream, but is separated into many tiny streams. From a distance it looks like a curtain. And I thought it must be a very difficult experience for each drop of water to come down from the top of such a high mountain. It takes time, you know, along time, for the water finally to reach the bottom of the waterfall. And it seems to me that our human life may be like this.

    We have many difficult experiences in our life. But at the same time, I thought, the water was not originally separated, but was one whole river. Only when it is separated does it have some difficulty in falling. It is as if the water does not have any feeling when it is one whole river. Only when separated into many drops can it begin to have or to express some feeling. When we see one whole river we do not feel the living activity of the water, but when we dip a part of the water into a dipper, we experience some feeling of the water, and we also feel the value of the person who uses the water. Feeling ourselves and the water in this way, we cannot use it in just a material way. It is a living thing.

    [/FONT]
    [FONT=verdana,arial]Before we were born we had no feeling; we were one with the universe. This is called "mind-only," or "essence of mind," or "big mind." After we are separated by birth from this oneness, as the water falling from the waterfall is separated by the wind and rocks, then we have feeling. You have difficulty because you have feeling. You attach to the feeling you have without knowing just how this kind of feeling is created. When you do not realize that you are one with the river, or one with the universe, you have fear. Whether it is separated into drops or not, water is water. Our life and death are the same thing. When we realize this fact, we have no fear of death anymore, and we have no actual difficulty in our life.[/FONT]

    [FONT=verdana,arial]When the water returns to its original oneness with the river, it no longer has any individual feeling to it; it resumes its own nature, and finds composure. How very glad the water must be to come back to the original river! If this is so, what feeling will we have when we die? I think we are like the water in the dipper. We will have composure then, perfect composure. It may be too perfect for us, just now, because we are so much attached to our own feeling, to our individual existence. From us, just now, we have some fear of death, but after we resume our true original nature, there is Nirvana. That is why we say, "To attain Nirvana is to pass away." "To pass away" is not a very adequate expression. Perhaps "to pass on," or "to go on," or "to join" would be better. Will you try to find some better expression for death? When you find it, you will have quite a new interpretation of your life.
    [/FONT]

    [FONT=verdana,arial]
    [/FONT]
     
  14. Male Bonding etc

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    SassySpy, such losses are always hard. When they happen is when we can truly appreciate the comfort of friends and relatives as we resolve to make our own lives and the lives we touch count for something.

    Hugs.
     
  15. Zaurus

    Zaurus New Member

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    Find comfort in that a part of him is alive in you. Through the memories you have of him and the connection you two share. Truly sorry for your lost.
     
  16. rubberwilli

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    Words cannot express my feelings. Know that you are not alone and that my thoughts are with you.
     
  17. B_Christofferb

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    My dear Sassy,

    My prayers are with you, your beloved friend Mark, and his family. I really sorry to hear that you loss someone that was so close to you. Instead of looking at it as a loss - look at it as a good thing for Mark, for he no longer has to live in a world that is corrupt. Remember, his vessel may have expired, but his spirit lives on to eternity.
     
  18. DC_DEEP

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    My condolences to you and Mark's other survivors, Sassy.
     
  19. viking1

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    Very sorry to hear about your loss, Sassy. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
     
  20. onion

    onion New Member

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    sorry to read this..I hate the disease..
     
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