I have a friend that I liked before we even became friends. He's 22, I'm 30. He approached and befriended me last October. At first I didn't think he wanted anything more than friends and I was ok with that. He'd text me in the middle of snow-storms to meet for drinks and it always seemed like there was some kind of tension between us. He had a girlfriend at the time and I respected that so I never made a move or an offer. This went on for a few months and then he stopped texting me or responding to my texts for awhile. He would be cordial in passing, but never went out of his way to talk with me long.
He started texting me again and we hung out a few more times until someone he knows started giving both of us a hard time about us being friends. Which is what I think happened the first time he stopped talking to me. He mentioned to a mutual friend that he thinks I like him. We've never discussed it. One night I ran into him while he was out. I was already pretty shit-faced and I told him how much of a piece of crap I thought his girlfriend was. Didn't hear from him for a few weeks until I got a text saying he wanted to hang out after hours at my job (I'm a bartender). He came by, we sat and talked till sunrise. He told me he broke up with the girlfriend. So now I'm thinking here's my chance.
We hang out at the same place (my job). When I'm behind the bar his eyes are all over me. When I'm just hanging out with other friends I catch him watching me. I'm starting to think he might be interested. My sexuality is no secret in this small town and most everyone is cool with it. He knew I was gay before he met me. Maybe I'm reading too much into it and he really only wants to be friends. I want more. Not a relationship though. I've been single 7 years and quite frankly don't think I'm relationship material, but a friends with benefits situation would be ideal. I know he won't initiate that part and I'm afraid to. I don't want to lose him as a friend if he gets offended. My one friend says to move on, another says make a move. She said about moving in closer to him and putting my hand on his leg when we're talking and I'll know by his reaction. Thing is, we're only together when we're out and there's people around. We rarely are alone. So I'd think his reaction to be negative in that situation.
I was going to text him about it, but my friend says that gives him the option to not respond and then I won't know. I want him to know how I feel and what I want. I think it would be easier and more private to say it in a text and tell him that if he's not interested I would still like to be his friend. I don't think I could handle the rejection if I did it face to face. And no, I don't want to get him wasted and try to take advantage of him as that usually turns out bad in the end. What the f*ck should I do??
He started texting me again and we hung out a few more times until someone he knows started giving both of us a hard time about us being friends. Which is what I think happened the first time he stopped talking to me. He mentioned to a mutual friend that he thinks I like him. We've never discussed it. One night I ran into him while he was out. I was already pretty shit-faced and I told him how much of a piece of crap I thought his girlfriend was. Didn't hear from him for a few weeks until I got a text saying he wanted to hang out after hours at my job (I'm a bartender). He came by, we sat and talked till sunrise. He told me he broke up with the girlfriend. So now I'm thinking here's my chance.
We hang out at the same place (my job). When I'm behind the bar his eyes are all over me. When I'm just hanging out with other friends I catch him watching me. I'm starting to think he might be interested. My sexuality is no secret in this small town and most everyone is cool with it. He knew I was gay before he met me. Maybe I'm reading too much into it and he really only wants to be friends. I want more. Not a relationship though. I've been single 7 years and quite frankly don't think I'm relationship material, but a friends with benefits situation would be ideal. I know he won't initiate that part and I'm afraid to. I don't want to lose him as a friend if he gets offended. My one friend says to move on, another says make a move. She said about moving in closer to him and putting my hand on his leg when we're talking and I'll know by his reaction. Thing is, we're only together when we're out and there's people around. We rarely are alone. So I'd think his reaction to be negative in that situation.
I was going to text him about it, but my friend says that gives him the option to not respond and then I won't know. I want him to know how I feel and what I want. I think it would be easier and more private to say it in a text and tell him that if he's not interested I would still like to be his friend. I don't think I could handle the rejection if I did it face to face. And no, I don't want to get him wasted and try to take advantage of him as that usually turns out bad in the end. What the f*ck should I do??
