Anxiety Problems?

[howami]

I'm 28 and I'm in relatively good shape. I weight about 220lbs. I'm 5'11". I started excercising again.. and I have an office job where I don't move around too much, but I am considered and consider myself strong and able.
I have dealt with a alcoholic father and a mother with schizophrenia for most of my childhood.

My issue is this. For the last 2 years I have had problems maintaining erections. If I touch myself, I get hard no problem and I get off on porn no problem. When my wife or any other woman for that matter, no matter how beautiful or attractive I find them, I have immense difficulty getting hard and if I get that far, it is almost impossible for me to stay hard during sex, if I can get in at all.

It is to the point now where I have visited several urologists and they have given me antidepressants to use.

Viagra, Cialis, and the other one, forget the name, doesn't work at all. I mean, it makes me hard as hell if I touch myself, but once it's time to actually push in, I go limp. They don't give the effect of staying hard that I had hoped for.

My wife of 3 years has complained of pain during sex almost all the time and hardly approaches me for sex at all - I am the one going after her.

Normally, I am a grower. That is, pretty small until I get hard. But what I did notice is today, I have the cold, and my cock is hanging soft - very impressive looking at it myself - you know, when of those cocks you want to have for the first time a woman sees it, not a small shriveled up shrimp.

Does this sound like an anxiety problem or depression? I have been on at least 3 antidepressants but not Paxil.

Any ideas is welcome...

Signed,
Fucking Tired of Erectile Problems

 

[bottombuddy]

I'm 28 and I'm in relatively good shape. I weight about 220lbs. I'm 5'11". I started excercising again.. and I have an office job where I don't move around too much, but I am considered and consider myself strong and able.
I have dealt with a alcoholic father and a mother with schizophrenia for most of my childhood.

My issue is this. For the last 2 years I have had problems maintaining erections. If I touch myself, I get hard no problem and I get off on porn no problem. When my wife or any other woman for that matter, no matter how beautiful or attractive I find them, I have immense difficult getting hard and if I get that far, it is almost impossible for me to stay hard during sex, if I can get in at all.

It is to the point now where I have visited several urologists and they have given me antidepressants to use.

Viagra, Cialis, and the other one, forget the name, doesn't work at all. I mean, it makes me hard as hell if I touch myself, but once it's time to actually push in, I go limp.

My wife of 3 years has complained of pain during sex almost all the time and hardly approaches me for sex at all - I am the one going after her.

Normally, I am a grower. That is, pretty small until I get hard. But what I did notice is today, I have the cold, and my cock is hanging soft - very impressive looking at it myself - you know, when of those cocks you want to have for the first time a woman sees it, not a small shriveled up shrimp.

Does this sound like an anxiety problem or depression? I have been on at least 3 antidepressants but not Paxil.

Any ideas is welcome...

Signed,
Fucking Tired of Erectile Problems

ive not suffered from erection problems myself but have had anxiety for approx 2/3 years due to personal probs such as close family members all dying within a short period of time,etc.

since then ive read alot on anxiety and depression,etc.

it affects everyone differently.

it sounds like your anxiety and worry with ED has caused depression and remember of course that the medication that youve had for this wont help...im sure viagra or others will work and your urologists sound extremely unhelpful...or you may have a deeper prob with your wife or yourself or worrying about your marriage,etc?.have you explored this?

try not to think about sex or stuff for about 8 weeks or so but have close contact with your wife....just because you cuddle or kiss someone dont automatically mean you have sex.......get to know each other again even if it means escaping at weekends away from your domestic situation......she sounds like she is being thoughtful too by not putting you under pressure to perform,etc.......learn to love each other all over again and things will turn out fine.

oh and regards past with your parents...you have to move on and try put shit like that behind you..you have the responsibility of a wife now so dont look back - make your future....and good luck too - sincerely.

 

[Principessa]

I'm 28 and I'm in relatively good shape. I weight about 220lbs. I'm 5'11". I started excercising again.. and I have an office job where I don't move around too much, but I am considered and consider myself strong and able.
I have dealt with a alcoholic father and a mother with schizophrenia for most of my childhood.

My issue is this. For the last 2 years I have had problems maintaining erections. If I touch myself, I get hard no problem and I get off on porn no problem. When my wife or any other woman for that matter, no matter how beautiful or attractive I find them, I have immense difficulty getting hard and if I get that far, it is almost impossible for me to stay hard during sex, if I can get in at all. Sounds like it is psychosomatic, stop the porn try j/o to your wife or pics of your wife. What the hell are you doing with other women when you have only been married 3 years?

It is to the point now where I have visited several urologists and they have given me antidepressants to use. Why is a urologist prescribing an antidepressant for you?

Viagra, Cialis, and the other one, forget the name, doesn't work at all. I mean, it makes me hard as hell if I touch myself, but once it's time to actually push in, I go limp. They don't give the effect of staying hard that I had hoped for. You need to see a therapist not a urologist.

My wife of 3 years has complained of pain during sex almost all the time and hardly approaches me for sex at all - I am the one going after her. You may have a fear of hurting the woman you love, hence the inability to stay hard during vaginal penetration. However you mentioned your alcoholic dad and schizophrenic mom so clearly your childhood was not an easy or good one. Not sure how that ties into your sex issues; but the bottom line is you must go for therapy!

Normally, I am a grower. That is, pretty small until I get hard. But what I did notice is today, I have the cold, and my cock is hanging soft - very impressive looking at it myself - you know, when of those cocks you want to have for the first time a woman sees it, not a small shriveled up shrimp.

Does this sound like an anxiety problem or depression? I have been on at least 3 antidepressants but not Paxil.

Any ideas is welcome...

Signed,
Fucking Tired of Erectile Problems

IMHO and I am not a doctor your issue is all in your head. The one above your shoulders. :tongue: You are definetely experiencing anxiety about causing your wife pain. However it's virtually impossible to grow up with an alcoholic or a mentally ill parent w/o having depression yourself at some point.

 

[howami]

I'm 28 and I'm in relatively good shape. I weight about 220lbs. I'm 5'11". I started excercising again.. and I have an office job where I don't move around too much, but I am considered and consider myself strong and able.
I have dealt with a alcoholic father and a mother with schizophrenia for most of my childhood.

My issue is this. For the last 2 years I have had problems maintaining erections. If I touch myself, I get hard no problem and I get off on porn no problem. When my wife or any other woman for that matter, no matter how beautiful or attractive I find them, I have immense difficulty getting hard and if I get that far, it is almost impossible for me to stay hard during sex, if I can get in at all. Sounds like it is psychosomatic, stop the porn try j/o to your wife or pics of your wife. What the hell are you doing with other women when you have only been married 3 years?

It is to the point now where I have visited several urologists and they have given me antidepressants to use. Why is a urologist prescribing an antidepressant for you?

Viagra, Cialis, and the other one, forget the name, doesn't work at all. I mean, it makes me hard as hell if I touch myself, but once it's time to actually push in, I go limp. They don't give the effect of staying hard that I had hoped for. You need to see a therapist not a urologist.

My wife of 3 years has complained of pain during sex almost all the time and hardly approaches me for sex at all - I am the one going after her. You may have a fear of hurting the woman you love, hence the inability to stay hard during vaginal penetration. However you mentioned your alcoholic dad and schizophrenic mom so clearly your childhood was not an easy or good one. Not sure how that ties into your sex issues; but the bottom line is you must go for therapy!

Normally, I am a grower. That is, pretty small until I get hard. But what I did notice is today, I have the cold, and my cock is hanging soft - very impressive looking at it myself - you know, when of those cocks you want to have for the first time a woman sees it, not a small shriveled up shrimp.

Does this sound like an anxiety problem or depression? I have been on at least 3 antidepressants but not Paxil.

Any ideas is welcome...

Signed,
Fucking Tired of Erectile Problems

IMHO and I am not a doctor your issue is all in your head. The one above your shoulders. :tongue: You are definetely experiencing anxiety about causing your wife pain. However it's virtually impossible to grow up with an alcoholic or a mentally ill parent w/o having depression yourself at some point.

We had some problems and I fell astray..
I will try not looking at porn and jack off to my wife.

I was thinking the same thing.. why is a urologist prescribing me Wellbutrin.
I have considered some type of therapy.. but because of my mother's condition - which is subdued by massive anti-depressants.. I am a bit skeptical. I mean shit the other night I took a single 100mg viagra after 1 hour of aerobic workout and no fatty foods. It's like nothing happens. It is really discouraging, I mean, what could a doctor possibly tell me to alleviate this?.... Sigh

I know the issue is in my head, I know it's not psychical but I was wondering if anyone else had this type of issue. I guess I'm generally just f*cked in the head.

Thanks for the help.

 

[IdahoTom]

Antidepressant drugs are notorious for reducing sexual ability. Your urologist knows this but clearly feels you are going through some emotional issues. Erectile drugs such as Viagra enable erection but won’t cause one or even change libido. But they can certainly boost ego when one can get such great hard-ons.

‘Confidence’ is a tried and true factor for a man’s sexual function. From your post, it sounds like you feel negative vibes from your wife – or at least the lack of enthusiasm. Men know when they are wanted or not and it makes a big, big difference in the bedroom. You also feel negative about yourself. njqt has already recommended, "You need to see a therapist" and this will probably in time need to include your wife.

One can easily appreciate your apprehension for therapy since you had an "alcoholic father and a mother with schizophrenia" and probably didn’t see them cured. But give it a try. If you don’t like who you start with, try someone else. Avoid porn since it trains your mind to "fast food" sex and not for relationship sex. I don’t know "what could a doctor possibly tell" you but sex therapists at least have something to say. Don’t worry about feeling "f*cked in the head" since we probably all are anyway including therapists.

I agree too with bottom’s advice to escape for weekends and add some romance. And that your wife is actually trying to help instead of being uninterested. Life easily gets routine and boring, so add some spice. This is something positive you can do now. Romance doesn’t require ‘pop-goes-the-weasel’. That will come as other things work out.