Anxiety Problems?

Discussion in 'The Healthy Penis' started by howami, Dec 22, 2007.

  1. howami

    howami Member

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    I'm 28 and I'm in relatively good shape. I weight about 220lbs. I'm 5'11". I started excercising again.. and I have an office job where I don't move around too much, but I am considered and consider myself strong and able.
    I have dealt with a alcoholic father and a mother with schizophrenia for most of my childhood.

    My issue is this. For the last 2 years I have had problems maintaining erections. If I touch myself, I get hard no problem and I get off on porn no problem. When my wife or any other woman for that matter, no matter how beautiful or attractive I find them, I have immense difficulty getting hard and if I get that far, it is almost impossible for me to stay hard during sex, if I can get in at all.

    It is to the point now where I have visited several urologists and they have given me antidepressants to use.

    Viagra, Cialis, and the other one, forget the name, doesn't work at all. I mean, it makes me hard as hell if I touch myself, but once it's time to actually push in, I go limp. They don't give the effect of staying hard that I had hoped for.

    My wife of 3 years has complained of pain during sex almost all the time and hardly approaches me for sex at all - I am the one going after her.

    Normally, I am a grower. That is, pretty small until I get hard. But what I did notice is today, I have the cold, and my cock is hanging soft - very impressive looking at it myself - you know, when of those cocks you want to have for the first time a woman sees it, not a small shriveled up shrimp.

    Does this sound like an anxiety problem or depression? I have been on at least 3 antidepressants but not Paxil.

    Any ideas is welcome...

    Signed,
    Fucking Tired of Erectile Problems
     
  2. bottombuddy

    bottombuddy Member

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    ive not suffered from erection problems myself but have had anxiety for approx 2/3 years due to personal probs such as close family members all dying within a short period of time,etc.

    since then ive read alot on anxiety and depression,etc.

    it affects everyone differently.

    it sounds like your anxiety and worry with ED has caused depression and remember of course that the medication that youve had for this wont help...im sure viagra or others will work and your urologists sound extremely unhelpful...or you may have a deeper prob with your wife or yourself or worrying about your marriage,etc?.have you explored this?

    try not to think about sex or stuff for about 8 weeks or so but have close contact with your wife....just because you cuddle or kiss someone dont automatically mean you have sex.......get to know each other again even if it means escaping at weekends away from your domestic situation......she sounds like she is being thoughtful too by not putting you under pressure to perform,etc.......learn to love each other all over again and things will turn out fine.

    oh and regards past with your parents...you have to move on and try put shit like that behind you..you have the responsibility of a wife now so dont look back - make your future....and good luck too - sincerely.
     
  3. Principessa

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  4. howami

    howami Member

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  5. IdahoTom

    IdahoTom New Member

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    Antidepressant drugs are notorious for reducing sexual ability. Your urologist knows this but clearly feels you are going through some emotional issues. Erectile drugs such as Viagra enable erection but won’t cause one or even change libido. But they can certainly boost ego when one can get such great hard-ons.

    ‘Confidence’ is a tried and true factor for a man’s sexual function. From your post, it sounds like you feel negative vibes from your wife – or at least the lack of enthusiasm. Men know when they are wanted or not and it makes a big, big difference in the bedroom. You also feel negative about yourself. njqt has already recommended, "You need to see a therapist" and this will probably in time need to include your wife.

    One can easily appreciate your apprehension for therapy since you had an "alcoholic father and a mother with schizophrenia" and probably didn’t see them cured. But give it a try. If you don’t like who you start with, try someone else. Avoid porn since it trains your mind to "fast food" sex and not for relationship sex. I don’t know "what could a doctor possibly tell" you but sex therapists at least have something to say. Don’t worry about feeling "f*cked in the head" since we probably all are anyway including therapists.

    I agree too with bottom’s advice to escape for weekends and add some romance. And that your wife is actually trying to help instead of being uninterested. Life easily gets routine and boring, so add some spice. This is something positive you can do now. Romance doesn’t require ‘pop-goes-the-weasel’. That will come as other things work out.
     
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