Any Advice On How To Get Out More And Not Be So Lonely?

Luv2fuk

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I need help bad I'm really lonely but I know it's my fault for being so introverted and always staying inside my house and never going out but tbh I don't really have any friends and don't know where I'm supposed to go to get out and meet women and stuff. I'm just really shy and nervous around people I think because I was made fun of a lot as a kid but I don't want to make up excuses I think I also just like to be by myself a lot but tbh I haven't really gotten out of the house for several months with the exception of shopping and a dentist appointment and I feel like I'm starting to go crazy I think maybe I just deserve to be lonely like this and I don't deserve to get laid or be loved like everyone else in the world and I was thinking maybe the world would be better place if I wasn't in it idk I just wanted someone to talk to, to see if my life is really as hopeless as I think it is
 

Luv2fuk

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I'd suggest going and seeking advice from ur doctor to make sure ur issues aren't down to underlying mental health issues
Thank you so much that sounds good I'll do that, and I know I've been diagnosed with depression in the past but no medication has really helped me before and I'm not sure what to do.
 
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deleted848353

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Thank you so much that sounds good I'll do that, and I know I've been diagnosed with depression in the past but no medication has really helped me before and I'm not sure what to do.
You might also have underlying social anxiety if you have problems around people and if you feel you can't go out u might also have underlying agrophobia. If you need to talk feel free to message me
 

LaFemme

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I have to go with the other women here. Medication and therapy, both. If you can afford a life coach as well, it might also be really helpful to get you practical tools out in the world. Not going to lie, you have to put in the work.

It’s not just about meeting women, but about truly caring about yourself. You can’t even begin to care about somebody else until you care about you. Otherwise you just look for validation from outside and that’s too much responsibility for other people to handle.
 
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deleted848353

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I have to go with the other women here. Medication and therapy, both. If you can afford a life coach as well, it might also be really helpful to get you practical tools out in the world. Not going to lie, you have to put in the work.

It’s not just about meeting women, but about truly caring about yourself. You can’t even begin to care about somebody else until you care about you. Otherwise you just look for validation from outside and that’s too much responsibility for other people to handle.
Certainly agree with this
 
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1850231

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I need help bad I'm really lonely but I know it's my fault for being so introverted and always staying inside my house and never going out but tbh I don't really have any friends and don't know where I'm supposed to go to get out and meet women and stuff. I'm just really shy and nervous around people I think because I was made fun of a lot as a kid but I don't want to make up excuses I think I also just like to be by myself a lot but tbh I haven't really gotten out of the house for several months with the exception of shopping and a dentist appointment and I feel like I'm starting to go crazy I think maybe I just deserve to be lonely like this and I don't deserve to get laid or be loved like everyone else in the world and I was thinking maybe the world would be better place if I wasn't in it idk I just wanted someone to talk to, to see if my life is really as hopeless as I think it is
In addition to what others have suggested, pick one thing to do, every week, that gets you out of the house. It could be joining the gym (an excellent way to help with any mental health issues that are feeding into anxieties you may have about going out/connecting with others). If not the gym, join a walking group or something physical. Exercise is fundamental to good mental health. It will also help you to meet people - even small conversations (with people who recognise you from the week before etc.) will have a massive impact on your confidence. If you read, join a book club/drawing/writing/coding class etc. Find small groups of people focused on activities that appeal to you as a way of building familiarity with others. Years ago, I was feeling disconnected so I joined an oil painting class. Not only did I find that I was actually pretty good at it, but I made 3 friends - two of whom I still meet up with, 8 years later. It’s the regular/familiarity without the pressure of having to make conversation that makes all the difference in building friendships. It’s why it was so much easier to make friends at school - we saw each other every day and we had things in common/a common focus. Once you’ve changed your routine and found things to fill your time, you’ll feel so much better about yourself and you’ll also worry less about ”the state of your life” because things will have changed and you’ll feeL differently about your future. It’s remarkable how having something to look forward to, can make all the difference to our week. Eventually, you’ll want to do other things - so have two things going on, and then be open to invites to coffee etc. and go. Half the battle is showing up.

As for dating, put that to one side. Your need for connection is bigger than finding date/girlfriend. Focus on widening your horizons and the dating thing will sort itself out. Believe me, there are women in your area, looking for exactly the same thing. It’ll just be a lot less stressful for you if you can open up to someone else when you’re already feeling better about your life. Trust me on this. I’ve been there. And good for you for asking for help - so many people suffer for years in silence. It doesn’t have to be so hard. We all need friends and to feel loved. You’ll be surprised how many other people are looking for exactly the same thing. And it’s endearing when you listen to people talking about how they “joined this class to, you know, maybe meet new people...” and remember a time when you, yourself, felt that way.
 
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