I've been interested in CFNM for a long time, even though I am gay. I have fantasized about other men involved in CFNM scenarios for a long time, but more recently about taking part myself, especially if it's a humiliating or forced situation. I'm not usually that turned on by CMNM or male domination though, despite being only attracted to men.
malakos
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Ummm... I kinda dig CMNM. Why would a homosexual man be into CFNM though?
I don't know, but why not? All sorts of fetishises and foibles can coexist and this one seems harmless enough. I have a harder time understanding why anyone (male/female/gay/straight) would take sexual pleasure in inflicting pain or humiliation on others. But each to their own.
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Oh no, I totally get sadomasochism. The key point people are usually missing when they "don't get it" (just not being into it is perfectly understandable) is that, generally speaking, sadomasochism is actually rooted in pleasure, or at least psychological satisfaction. The masochist derives satisfaction from various forms of playful "torture" (by pain or pleasure or emotional or psychological), and the sadist derives satisfaction of having control over this and being able to provide this satisfaction for both parties.
I don't see any internal conflict or dissonance in that. Seems a pretty internally consistent concept. But... a homosexual man being interested in CFNM? And to the extent that they would mention it before CMNM? It would seem to clash with his sexual orientation.
Yes, I can see the logic in that. But pain is not pleasure, the reverse. So inflicting or receiving it should not be pleasurable. There may be some psychological/emotional satisfaction to be had from the dynamics of it, rather in the same way as there may be for gays with CFNM. Whether we get it or not, there clearly is. Btw, I think you rather whitewash the role of sadist. It's not just about control and providing satisfaction to both parties, it's really about enjoying inflicting pain on others.
No thank you. It is hard for me fo understand the "pleasure" of nipple claws, ball stretchers, whipping rods ans being treated like shit. The opposite role (to me the dominant one) also does not appeal to me. I just want uncomplicated fun.
Once I was invited to visit Berlin. I thought it would be a quickie: flying from Eindhoven Airport to Berlin Schönefeld and a couple of hours later strolling at the Nollendorfplatz but no, the friend wanted to go by car. Reason: he had a whole arsenal of leather, ironware and woodwork with him, which he needed to transport all the way to Berlin to have an evening of lustfull sex.
Pffff... I just had a Levi's 501 and a t-shirt and that was it. Enfin, that night in the club ended in the showers. The chaps, the body harnasses, the caps, the face-masks, the boots, all went off and what I alsaw were just hairy dudes wirh balding heads, some fatty lovehandles and a blubby ass. Just an accountant from Nürnberg or a bus driver from Charlottenburg. I could not escape the thought that the SM scène was just a kindergarten with fancy dressing parties. No offense intended, boys. ;-)
Once I was invited to visit Berlin. I thought it would be a quickie: flying from Eindhoven Airport to Berlin Schönefeld and a couple of hours later strolling at the Nollendorfplatz but no, the friend wanted to go by car. Reason: he had a whole arsenal of leather, ironware and woodwork with him, which he needed to transport all the way to Berlin to have an evening of lustfull sex.
Pffff... I just had a Levi's 501 and a t-shirt and that was it. Enfin, that night in the club ended in the showers. The chaps, the body harnasses, the caps, the face-masks, the boots, all went off and what I alsaw were just hairy dudes wirh balding heads, some fatty lovehandles and a blubby ass. Just an accountant from Nürnberg or a bus driver from Charlottenburg. I could not escape the thought that the SM scène was just a kindergarten with fancy dressing parties. No offense intended, boys. ;-)
malakos
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That's cool. I have no interest in telling anyone that they ought to appreciate sadomasochism. What I do find peculiar is that there are so many people who, simply because they find it personally unappealing, seem to refuse to even try to understand the "logic" of it.
This is a common problem of conflating different aspects of BDSM and kink. For example, take what BDSM stands for. It's not a straight acronym where each letter corresponds to just one value. It's Bondage, Disciple, D/s (Domination and Submission), and S&M (sadomasochism). People tend to assume that BDSM is a unitary whole. While it is true that there is a lot of overlap, there is also considerable separation of these parts. There are plenty of people who are into bondage but not D/s or S&M. The same is true of the other two.
As for your story, what you observed was the Leather scene, which is a particular kink/fetish scene. As far as I can tell it is particularly common among Gay kinksters. And yes, the Leather scene does tend to be particularly focused on gear and dressing up and showing off and the social aspect. And while BDSM is often practiced in the Leather community there are also plenty of exceptions to that. Men who just really get off on leather gear and having hot raunchy sex with leather. On the flipside, sadomasochism is most certainly not inherently tied into anything to do with the Leather community. There's a couple guys I've been with recently whom I've explored sadomasochistic play with, but none of us are into the Leather scene and don't place much emphasis on gear or outfits or showing off or the Scene. For example, a scene with one of them involved me trying his hands together with a tie and torturing him with ice cubes (it was awesome). Literally nothing whatsoever to do with the Leather scene.
Am I the only one that doesn't know what anyone here is talking about? Just a lot of letters to me that I can't figure out!
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malakos
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They stand for Clothed Female, Nude Male and Clothed Male, Nude Male, respectively.
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Now that I read up on it. Ok what's the issue? You are not having intercourse with the women she is just dominating you. Sexuality and kink is a weird thing don't over think it. A lot of Gay men can find a women attractive and even sexy but still have no interest in having sex with her. I think it's similar in your situation. This may sound crazy but men and women have different energy. The way a man dominates is very different than a women. It can simply be that the female form of domination is better suited to your taste. if you enjoy it who cares what people think. As long as you don't dip your dick in her pussy I don't think anyone will revoke your gay card LOL
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