Any Guy Ever Date A Downlow Irish Man?

krazioso13

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Now, there's so fukin much I can type here..but the idea and gist of it is to ask anyone willing to respond and give there two cents in any ways. Im a 34yo latino bear currently crazy and possibly trying to break away from a 24yo irish twink..who's one of my managers at my job I work at. So my question is..what has been your experience dating an irish guy? Now, he's a smart man and I am too, and we both know not to shit where we eat. things is..there is actual genuine chemistry and vibe between us, as much as we both have fought it and try to not care and push away.

The funny thing is, he's str8 acting and masculine..nerdy and goofy, sarcastic and funny too. Im the same and we're both laidback. I figured he was a pussy lover. Thing is, my intuition and sense never failed me..and from early, i picked up signs he was into me..yet kept it at bay and denied it like wow. I found him cute before, yet the feelings kept going and are now deep..as are his..and thats cuz we havent hung out yet to just smoke weed or talk!! I do bake him his fav cookies here n there, and leave him food to eat..and we're starting to have each others backs.

Also, with this not being my first rodeo, I know red flags when I see them. It just helps to get more perspectives and thoughts and feelings from others. Mind you, I'm openly gay and he is downlow bi. I know he had two LTR's like me(both girls), but currently single like me, and even told me he isnt lookin for pussy and no time to date. I consider him the better lookin between us two, yet he's more insecure from not working on his past probs. I can tell he avoids more..part of why he hasn't outright tell me he likes me.

I can give more and more things, so for now..I can give an small example. The first time he showed his jealousy, I was fully shook. One night during work, former cooks from another job asked for me around closing time, so i went to shoot the shit and talk/laugh like wow for a good half hour as things were dead. All straight guys have been cool with me so they continue to be frisky. I noticed manager buzzing around, and fiured it was cuz he wanted to close quick on a sat night.

I ignored him while we walked around like wow and kept talking, touching, etc. After I said bye, i went back in kitchen, other line cook said he had to use number 2, so I was alone on line with food. As soon as other cook left, he sped walked to me, with arms crossed, a fake smile and like right in my face and asked me who those guys were and how do I know them?

In the name of all things that are good, I almost went volcano style on his ass, as i HATE to be questioned bout my personal things, especially when im single and the way he did so. Then i realized he was jelly, and made me melt. so I calmly gave just enough info of who they were. and then he 180 the subject once he realized who they were.

so yea, that was the first time, and last saturday, was the 6th time he did that. Or more, hawk and stalk me when i meet a a guy/girl out there that is either family or former coworkers. fucking a..i could keep going but i babbled too much. im trying to break it away, and can tell he is too, yet..like a force, we snap back together and it feels like it's getting deeper and deeper.


soooooooo...yea...my apologies...just...whats been your case for dating an irish guy?? and for the love of good, please let me have it, any and all thoughts are welcome, truly
 

krazioso13

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For a D/L relationship - it sounds like to much drama me, but I don't know either of you - so please ignore my opinion! :)
no, i welcome your opinion..any and all. and yea, it truly does. i mean..currently, it feels as if i am his or what not without words being exchanged that i am..and im like...no..tell me im yours..and when i agree to it, we're good.

hahahaha, i liked that you called it a downlow relationship. it sounds n feels like it is and im like..when the fuck did that happen?? part of it too is that he hasnt worked on his past issues..if he did, i dont think he'd be as insecure or what not..but it keeps getting deeper as the days roll by. fuckin a. maybe i need to pull my crazy card out to get this official or end it once n for all
 
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deleted142346

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Just enjoy the energy, and go put your actions elsewhere. Unless you plan on being unemployed in the near future.
 
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krazioso13

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Just enjoy the energy, and go put your actions elsewhere. Unless you plan on being unemployed in the near future.
thanks..and how do i just enjoy the energy?? and def understand..thats what Im doing..trying to pull away and put my energy elsewhere..yet, as much as I do, i feel its getting deeper each time we both pull away. i actually think it'll come to that too.
 
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deleted142346

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Just enjoy whatever it is that gets you going about this guy. Neither resist him nor pull him towards you. You can just experience whatever it is and then know more about why you are so drawn to him. Then when you meet someone else more appropriate, you can pursue those characteristics and enjoy them for real. If it's the present power dynamic, then maybe you need to talk with a therapist, because that's self-destructive.
 

krazioso13

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that's what im trying to do(of enjoying him)...and at the same time, trying to let go. its a very hard battle inside. as when i get deep in thought and feelings, its like the fucker senses it and gets closer and closer. he pulls back a lil each time, then comes around stronger, as i use my strength to break away even more for my sake.

i mean, for shit's sake, he gets mad when i joke around, hug or talk to other coworkers but not with him the same way. yet i know better then to do so, so I dont do it. so yea..for my sake, im opting to end it all.

and no, there is no power dynamic. if anything, i was just me & helped him understand he is smart enough to do his job and capable of handling things. he was feeling ultra down bout shit a few weeks ago. and thank you for that. its probably much better if I dont understand or get to know why what draws/attracts me to him.

again, thank you
 

krazioso13

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Just a bit of an update. I did cry out my feelings for the most part for him, and keep it friendly. I notice that he still gets jealous and mad when females hug me or other guy coworkers are very cool with me. i figured he's calm and cool, and it feels like he doesnt care or give a shit cuz there's no one around. we're on lockdown around here so theres no customers or any to visit me while i work.

i did notice some "weird" behavior when we're alone for a while, and the last straw for me to let go was that he simply didnt tell me happy birthday knowing it was a big deal for me. since then, hes been way more nicer and attentive, but to me, i stand my ground and just continue to be kind and courteous.
 
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5307911

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Just a bit of an update. I did cry out my feelings for the most part for him, and keep it friendly. I notice that he still gets jealous and mad when females hug me or other guy coworkers are very cool with me. i figured he's calm and cool, and it feels like he doesnt care or give a shit cuz there's no one around. we're on lockdown around here so theres no customers or any to visit me while i work.

i did notice some "weird" behavior when we're alone for a while, and the last straw for me to let go was that he simply didnt tell me happy birthday knowing it was a big deal for me. since then, hes been way more nicer and attentive, but to me, i stand my ground and just continue to be kind and courteous.
I've been in your situation a couple of times with closeted guys. I used to work in restaurants as well, so I have an understanding of where you are at. Many of the guys that I met, or at least had the type of relationship you are talking about, were through work. SO..I can't entirely say don't shit where you eat, as I understand the work dynamic and how things develop in a high stress, high adrenaline environment.

From my perspective, it really isn't going to get much better than what you are experiencing now. He isn't suddenly going to come out of the closet, be a balanced, confident gay man. He will not bring you roses, or do a dinner date. You will not live together and live happily ever after.

With closeted people like that, there is a line they approach but do not cross. And, if that line does get crossed, like one drunken night he lets you blow him, that generally ruins whatever fun there was and you will be searching for a new job.

I'm not here to tell you what to do. However, I will say that if want a boyfriend, or for this to develop into something more, it more than likely is not going to happen. The jealous, possessive, negative behavior that you are experiencing, with occasional moments of hidden affection, really is not going to improve significantly. Sure, flirting behavior is fun, and so is the secretive naughtiness of a quasi ..something. with your boss, but he has all the power, and has already shown you how easily he can turn that tap of affection off.

I think you are going in with your eyes open, but your heart is in the wrong place. However, like I said, I have been there and have played that game as well. I also know how it usually ends. Your choice.