Any stories you'd like to share about loved ones lost to aids?

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by grandunification, Nov 16, 2007.

  1. grandunification

    grandunification Well-Known Member

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    Have any of you ever had a partner die of aids? If so, I'd like to hear the story of how it all went down.
     
  2. Osiris

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    It actually went down very quietly. My high school sweetheart had contracted AIDS from her first, last, and only sexual encounter. Her family and friends pretty much turned on her. When this happened, I was about all she had left. I took her in. Back then (late 80's), there wasn't a lot of treatment options for AIDS. It was pretty much try and treat the issues as they come up and hope for the best.

    Towards the end, she was in an almost weakend state. She would have these bouts that were like a vicious migraine and the flu all in one. We had a Sunday ritual of laying in bed and doing the NY Times Sunday Crossword and I'd read to her. She just gently laid her head on my shoulder and I recall asking her something or reading her a story and when I went to ask her something about it, she was gone. She at least had a smile of sorts on her face.

    If any solace came out of all that, the thing I came away with was that I had made her last 2 years of life happy and as comfortable as possible. The look on her face when she passed confirmed that.
     
  3. No_Strings

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    I'm speechless, Osiris. (That doesn't happen often.)

    :hug:
     
  4. Principessa

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    Osiris, I am constantly and truly awed by the greatness of your spirit.

     
  5. grandunification

    grandunification Well-Known Member

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    Nicely put Osiris. Hopefully aids will be a memory of the past some day.
     
  6. Charles Finn

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    just close friends in the 90's
     
  7. camper joe

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    That was so sad, sorry for your lost. She was lucky to have a friend that care for her as you did. It a sad fact that many people die alone from AIDS in the beginning when no one had the information on how to prevent it.
     
  8. Bbucko

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    I stopped counting my losses at 60, about fifteen years ago. At that point all but two of my former lovers were dead and the few friends I had left had buried themselves in relationships or had moved away or both.

    There are no words to describe how such cumulative devastation effects you. And the numbness you're left with is a veneer-thin protective layer which either flakes away or builds in layers with each subsequent passing.

    A member of an HIV-support website of which I am a member passed recently, a sweet and gentle woman in her late 30s. The reactions were polarizing, with either overloads of emotion or just a stunned silence, my reaction being the latter. I wanted to let out a great wave of anger and hurt, or at least have myself a good long cry, but nothing came except another layer of numb.

    Her story is a very common one not getting much press outside of HIV+ circles. It wasn't a question of adherence or "superinfection", it's that the meds just simply didn't work on her after a few years. They don't work on everybody.
     
  9. goodwood

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    When I was in school in Boston in the early 90s, my uncle Richard (father's only brother) passed away from AIDS. Growing up I always liked the guy. He had a brutal and fantastic sense of humor and wit, was generally reserved but that guy knew how to party and was part of the Studio 54 scene in the 70s. We got along very well and he was very kind to me. However, in my severely republican and repressed WASPY family, my uncle was shunned and never spoken of and if he was spoken of or to, it was very cursory and brief. I remember as a child visiting his five story townhouse in the city for shopping and parties and he and his lover did visit our country house upstate twice.
    When he was diagnosed it was a great sadness to me. While in college I went back and forth from Boston to New York to party and toward the end (I had no idea the end was so close) he stopped by my hotel to see me, but I was late getting back and missed him by fifteen minutes. As it turns out, that was to have been the last time we could have seen one another. I think he was disappointed but he was great and left an envelope of cash for proper partying in grand style.
    A few weeks later I heard he was not doing well and I called him to say "Hang on, I will be on the next train to see you." His reply was "Jesus Christ! I'm not dead yet!" which made me smile because that was very much something he would say. As I was at the train station on my way to see him, his lover called me to say that he had passed away. That was my first and only loss of someone close to me from AIDS.
    I wish I was able to know him better as a person. I was forbidden from being in contact with him by my parents because of his homosexuality. He was a connoisseur in every way - of art, achitecture, fashion, music, world travel, of life.
    After his death, his lover visited me in Boston and I visited him in New York (without my family's knowledge of course).
    I think it is heartbreaking that the family (not one) attended the funeral or party. I was not able to attend b/c of travel. I find it perfect that after his death, a huge costume ball was held to remember and celebrate him. I would like to believe that my uncle knew that I appreciated and valued him as a great person and I think after his death, his lover knew that I did care for him very deeply.
    I miss him Uncle Richard.
     
  10. conchis

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    I had a friend at school. he discovered heroin when we were 13. He grew up struggling against the fucking addiction. he became an artist, a painter and a sculptor. he won his battle against heroin but not against the disease and a simple cold killed him in a foggy winter afternoon.

    I didn't know he was sick 'cause since high school days I lost touch with him.
    I knew about his death only months later.

    I dreamt of him, recently. he was sitted on the edge of a swimming pool together with his sisters. he was thin and pale and smiled at me. but the eyes of his sisters were wet of muffled tears.
    the sun was high in that absolute blue july sky and I was so irreparably sad.

    ciao G. I miss you
     
  11. IntoxicatingToxin

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    I don't have any yet... but I do know two people with HIV... I'll let you know what happens.
     
  12. durbantom

    durbantom Active Member

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    I live in the province of Kwa Zulu - Natal which is on the East coast of South Africa. Kinda Looking out towards Madagascar.

    AIDS has an infection rate of around 30 ~ 40 % of pregnant women who are admitted to hospitals for prenatal care. No one can actually say for sure what the actual percentage rate is but it is very high in certain demographic/geographic areas of Africa.

    The AIDS epidemic in 3rd world countries/continents like Africa is mostly contracted sexually between HETROSEXUAL partners. (Africa is a continent.)

    This means that very often DADDY and MOMMY die, and leave behind very young children to fend for themselves. It is not uncommon to have children as young as 12 being the head of the family.

    This is causing a knock on effect where children are being raised without parental LOVE and CARE, and one can only wonder how this generation will grow up and mature with massively damaged family structures.

    Unfortunately an IGNORANCE about this pandemic still prevails, and there are widespread rumours that sleeping with a virgin will cure AIDS. We see countless cases of very young children some as young as a few months / certainly less than a year being RAPED by one or more IDIOTS looking for a cure to the VIRUS.

    So in ending, I have known countless people who have died from AIDS, and know scores of people who have AIDS but are too scared to be tested.

    Unfortunately there is a huge stigma attached which further drives the pandemic underground - where it can do its NASTY WORK.

    AIDS IS NOT A STRICTLY GAY PLAGUE!! ANYONE AND EVERYONE IS AT RISK - ALL IT TAKES IS ONE LITTLE PRICK!!
     
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