Anyone else dislike Queens, Nelly, or femme men?

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by RedTextBox, Aug 20, 2009.

  1. RedTextBox

    RedTextBox New Member

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    Anyone else here dislike guys that are femme, nelly, or who would be called queens or as the British say camp men?

    I'm talking about guys who call everyone Hon or honey, sweetie, even other men, and they're your typical flaming gay. I'm gay and they are just a total bad stereotype and annoying at that.

    Before you try to say that I have 'internalised homophobia' save the bullshit for someone else since I'm gay, male, out and proud and I just don't relate to queens, date them, or hang out with them as friends.

    I did try but I do know that we'll probably have nothing in common together besides our sexuality and I'm not a fan of twinks or queens.

    I don't like them because they are so fake and have all of the qualities that I don't like in people such as vapidness, being totally fake, way too over affectionate/sweet, and many are totally passive/agressive and appear nice but then are really vapid, mean, untrustworthy, and two faced behind your back or towards other people even people who they consider to be their "friends".

    Also these men are walking stereotypes and are just really putting on a fake act and acting this way to get attention even if it's negative attention, and it's all just a fake act.
     
  2. RedTextBox

    RedTextBox New Member

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    Queens or femme men also are the cause of homophobia among straight people. Most straights I know do not care for queens or femme men either and understand that only a few gay men are actually flaming queens or a bad stereotype that's a total act that they put on since they are attention whores.

    I avoid queens and femme men since I don't like to be around them, date them, andthey are a total turn off and do not do anything for me sexually.

    Most gay and bisexual men are not flaming queens at all and they are just normal masculine men who happen to be gay or bisexual.

    I find femme men or queens to be really bad insulting stereotypes and when I see how the media (TV and movies) portrays gay men as being queens and the brunt of homophobic jokes with the queen or sissy character.

    In TV shows it's just as bad with characters like Jack from Will and Grace or the guys from Queer Eye.

    I understand how how black people must feel when they see mostly all black people in the media as being thugs, Niggas, or into the whole hip hop/gangsta attitude/fashion. Or how Margaret Cho must have felt when they made her do that corny Asian American sitcom in
    the 90s called All American Girl that was full of bad Asian stereotypes and then they had the gall to tell her that her character was not "Asian enough" even though she was just being funny and being herself and not a total Asian stereotype.

    I happen to be gay but when people first meet me they do not assume this about me and some do not believe me when I come out to them until I tell them I have a partner.I do not like it when guys say that they are straight acting when they are bisexual or gay, if they were really straight acting they would not be having or wanting sex with men in the first place.

    Why is there even a link between being bisexual and gay and feminine?

    It makes no sense at all and gay sex is anything but being feminine even if you are into being passive or the receptive person for anal sex or just are into giving oral sex.

    I agree that being a queen or femme is just a fake act that guys put on because they think that they have to act this way because they are bisexual or gay, and that queens embody all of the bad stereotypes of gay men.

    I remember in the 80s when being femme/androgynous was all the fashion and very popular among gay men, think Boy George and New Wave fashion.

    I'm glad I never faked being a queen, and nowadays masculine men are in and thankfully people realize that not everyone that is bi/gay doesn't act like Jack from the TV show Will and Grace and that we're normal people just like straight people.

    I do happen to know that even straight people do get turned off by flaming queens and many find them annoying.

    I also do not like the queens on TV shows like Queer Eye and my friends out west met Carson the blonde guy from the Queer Eye when he was at some club doing a promotion, and even with him being a flaming queen is apparently all an act and that they expect him to act this way on TV since he is gay.

    The worst are the guys that are into the total fake femme act and they look all hot with muscles and then they open their mouth and rolls of chiffon fall out! LMAO who do they think that they're fooling?

    I agree that flaming queens can be a lot worse than some women (the type who are vapid, materialistic, and bitchy) are at being full of bitter gall and vile and passive/aggressive mind games, petty DRAMA and all of that. Just look at how bad some women are when it comes to using their bodies, sex appeal, and pussy for power or their own personal gain! Or the whole "I want things MY WAY!" attitude that most women seem to have especially when it comes to a wedding/family.

    If you don't believe me on that one just pick up any issue of Cosmo/glamour/any women's magazine, look at ads where women are in, watch sex in the city or any other TV show, try being friends with a guy who is going to marry a materialistic woman, or just talk to most men who are in relationships with vapid, materialistic, bitchy women and you'll find out that it's true! ;)

    I feel bad for my straight male friends who are married to women who don't put out at all or who don't even like sex or want it most of the time and they have told me how women do the above, but then again I do think that some men like this and enjoy being submissive in a relationship with a woman.

    Before you think that I am a misogynist, I'm not. I did not say that all women are this way, just the ones who are vapid, bitchy, and highly materialistic usually are.

    If you need proof about flaming queens being just as bad as bitchy vapid materialistic women are this try hanging out with some queens, go on a gay message board and see how queens online act to each other and start petty drama and BS over the latest female pop singer, read some books by the shitty author Augusten Burroughs who is a queen himself, or just go to a gay bar and watching the screaming queens and how it's all a fake act that they put on.

    I have also seen first hand that those drag queen types are pretty viscous and vindictive.
     
  3. DiscoBoy

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    Dislike? No. Perhaps not attracted to them, but recently I've met some 'Queens' that are absolutely hilarious.

    Both your posts were full of completely ignorant, stupid and horrible generalizations. Stop being so close-minded.
     
  4. Golfbuddy

    Golfbuddy Member

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    Oh my -- I loath what these people do. Drag queens just gross me out beyond words. It's not funny, cute, or entertaining. It sickens me. And effeminate men make me uncomfortable. Nelly or whatever, yuck. I like men who are men, act like men, play like men. Real men get dirty and roughed up. That's a problem in today's world: too many male role models are candy-ass pansies. I never thought I'd say it, but we need more men like John Wayne, George Patton, Burt Lancaster, and Barry Goldwater.
     
  5. RedTextBox

    RedTextBox New Member

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    Right on bud! I'm personally not sexually attracted to guys that are queens and they do not make good friends either since they are so dizzy, self absorbed, flakey, love to cause and spread drama, and immature people.
     
  6. midlifebear

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    I prefer masculine men, too. But George Patton? He was practically a midget (oops, sorry . . . a small person) and not the brightest General among his peers (cranky, old man face, too). And Barry Goldwater? WTF? Can't say that I ever regarded him as a "hot daddy" type. Malcolm Forbes, maybe, but not poor old Barry G., may he rest in peace. I might, however, consider a young Stuart Udall.

    However, the more photos I see of John Dean the more I realize that guy hits the gym on a regular basis. I'd love to see how fit he is without those drab Washington-style suits. Plus, he's a physician in addition to a politician so he probably knows how to screw you and make it feel reeeeaaal good.
     
    #6 midlifebear, Aug 20, 2009
    Last edited: Aug 20, 2009
  7. drxyz

    drxyz New Member

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    drag queens are a bit scary. I like masculine gay men.
     
  8. Principessa

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  9. milledeux

    milledeux New Member

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    good grief! RedTex, try just a little tolerance. I'm not that fond of drag queens but they can be hilarious and entertaining in the right circumstances. Now if you want something disgusting and frightening try looking at a conservative Republican! BRRRRRR.. And MIDLIFE.. its HOWARD Dean, not John Dean... John Dean was a lawyer and staffer of Richard Nixon and he testified at the Watergate hearings. Now... go out and play, boys.
     
  10. rainbowknight

    rainbowknight New Member

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    RedTextBox I feel where you are coming from. However, some of the things that you wrote were the perceptions that have been assigned to gay men in general by society - not that you believed them.

    I have a guy who is just really "nelly" who comes into where I work. I never thought that he was gay because he had a wedding band on. Where I work, you see all kinds of people. There are straight guys who make drag queens look like lumber jacks. One day, he came in with his husband. A guy who looked like a lumber jack. Tried as I might, I just could not change my attitude towards him because all of his actions were dramatic and sighs at the end of every sentence.

    I do not hate "girlie" acting men, some of them just bug the shit out of me. We had a couple of young drag queens come in and one of them was really loud. I told her to lower her voice and stop cussing. She said that she was an adult and she could do whatever she wants. I could not take any more of her behavior and I stated, "I bet you do whoever you want also." I just smiled at her and winked because she just stood there with her mouth open. I have never had a problem from her since.

    Sometimes a lot of it is just show.Try to ignore it and attempt to be tolerant. There are other people who are out there in the same boat as you. However, we have to attempt to be tolerant of each other and accept all the colors in the rainbow that we represent. Everyone has the right to be butch or femme, male or female. If you find their behavior in poor taste, just be lucky that you do not have to live with them.
     
    #10 rainbowknight, Aug 20, 2009
    Last edited: Aug 20, 2009
  11. LilNubi

    LilNubi New Member

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    I never post, but this thread has prompted me to do so for the first time. You have a right to your opinion, but I think you're a bit off-base.

    Gay men are human beings, and every human being fits somewhere on the spectrum of masculine and feminine regardless of gender. There are a lot of gay men who are feminine because that's the way they are. The majority of little boys who are teased and called faggots by other kids because they have feminine tendencies aren't putting anything on. It's just the way they are, and they shouldn't have to change who they are because it doesn't fit another persons' ideal.

    Sure, there are gay men who may camp it up with friends, or even fall into a pattern of campy behavior most of the time, but is this any different than "masculine" men who say "Bro!" all the time, puff out there chests, take on the traits of whatever "cool guy" persona Hollywood has decided is the new masculine standard, and act in any hyper-masculine way. Both come from insecurity and/or a need to take on a posture to communicate to others their feelings of self-identity and both can be equally annoying depending on one's value systems.

    I've had this conversation with other gay guys who feel like you guys do, and I've always suspected that their hatred (because that's what it is) comes from an insecurity in their own sexuality and experiences with a few shitty people who happened to be "nelly or queenie". If some flamboyant, effeminate gay men treated you poorly, those individuals were assholes, but generalizing a whole group of people because of your limited experiences is wrong. The degree to which a person is feminine or masculine has nothing to do with their morals or how they treat others.

    Lots of drag queens and effeminate men were the ones who fought for the limited rights we gay men now have. They were the ones who took care of their sick friends -- many of whom were as butch and masculine as anyone else -- in the height of the AIDS crisis, and maybe acting a little outlandishly helped them cope with the horror that was around them. Maybe some of them use it as a shield to protect themselves from getting hurt, using wit and sarcasm because they have no other weapons. Who knows, and honestly, who cares? But being effeminate doesn't equate to the list of negative personality traits you mentioned... And intimating that if all gay men were "straight-acting" those people who hate us and find us offensive would be more accepting is ludicrous and naive, at best.

    I found your posts ignorant, uninformed, and offensive to gay men and women, and the fact that you find the need to qualify your opinions at such length and defend them so strongly, without prompting, are suspect. You don't like effeminate men. That's cool. We all have preferences. And we're all lucky that we live in a country where we have the right to air our opinions. But spitting out all that ugliness is hurtful, cowardly, and unnecessary.
     
  12. milledeux

    milledeux New Member

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  13. eastbaydude

    eastbaydude New Member

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    OK, I use the terms, Honey, Sweetheart, and Darling, but I'm from the South and I use them to refer to women and children.
     
  14. jason_els

    jason_els <img border="0" src="/images/badges/gold_member.gi

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    Uh, why don't you post more? Damn! :arms:
     
  15. BirdinMo

    BirdinMo Member

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    So sweetie, do you feel better after venting? I have called everyone sweetie and hun as long as I can remember. Maybe you just need to meet some of us nice feminine men...
    Growing up I was called a "pussy, fag" and the works all because I liked to do "girly" things. So what if I like to crochet, quilt, garden, cook, clean and make little things for kids? It is who I am, It is not an act of any kind.
     
    #15 BirdinMo, Aug 21, 2009
    Last edited: Aug 21, 2009
  16. B_GayAZN

    B_GayAZN New Member

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    I agree queens or nelly men are just annoying and a really bad stereotype and same with Drag queens. Nobody cares about camp humor anymore and The Boys In the Band is a horrible movie.

    LilNubi-The idea that drag queens or feminine men somehow gave gay or GLBT rights to the majority of people is total bullshit and it is just something that femme men say to
    make themselves feel better for putting on a stereotypical act and being fake people.

    Learn your queer history and understand that not all gay/GLBT people who fought for
    GLBT rights are feminine or are drag queens.

    Why are you bringing HIV/AIDS into this argument? Playing the martyr/victim card like
    almost ALL gay men are trained to do and react to when the topic of HIV/AIDS comes
    up?:rolleyes: HIV/AIDS is a human disease and it effects everyone not just gay and
    bisexual men and most people who have HIV/AIDS are straight.
     
  17. dolfette

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    banned within 5 hours of posting this.

    yay mods!!
     
  18. B_VinylBoy

    B_VinylBoy New Member

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    It was drag queens, nelly boys and fems that fought back at Stonewall back in 1969. Without them, we may not even have a LPSG board. You think we as a nation would be able to have open discussions about someone's penis online without the ability to co-exist with people who are homosexual?

    Respect your roots. ALL of them. That has nothing to do with who you want to fuck. :rolleyes:
     
  19. Joll

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    Hmmm, I find it a bit awkward in everyday life, but I've met some on here who are brilliant - just ppl like anyone else.

    I agree w/Lilnubi, tbh.
     
  20. novice_btm

    Staff Member Moderator Gold Member

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    He'll be back. We'll be waiting. :wink:
     
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