Anyone else dwell on the past...

GeekLust

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...and use google to stalk people from years ago?

I've been doing that lately. It gets me down but I do it anyway.

I dwell on the shoulda-woulda-coulda type things. I imagine my life like the 'sliding doors' movie and wonder 'what if?' a lot.

Tonight I was on a friends facebook (we went to high school together) and from his page I went to another fellow high-schooler's page (someone I'm not friends with). Then that lead to pages of people who used to bully me. I dwell on what happened during my teen years and I get a bit down (I'm 28 now).

Does anyone else do this?

I have no control over the past, it's over. And I shouldn't care about what those people are doing now and what they would think of me now, and yet I do :sad2:

There is also a hint of jealousy. I was bullied in school for being pale (I lived in a hot country), being obsessed with horse riding (it was my escape and I was damn good at it) and being overweight. I ended up finding a youtube audition recording of a girl I went to school with; she's trying out for a tv show. She looks the same as she did in school; pretty, long thick hair, tanned, thin. I kinda wish she was fat and ugly though. Juvenile feelings but I can't help having them :confused:

Just feeling a bit low and had to share and rant :1zhelp:
 

Call_Me_Daddy

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We all have our regrets and in hindsight wish we could've done things differently.

But those things usually help us strive to better ourselves.

The trick is to use these negative experiences to grow, not languish.

And I've also done my fair share of languishing.
 

nudeyorker

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First of all let me say I'm sorry you were bullied and had a difficult time in the past. My life has been fairly charmed but very far from perfect and painful at times so I've learned to leave the past where it belongs. Sometimes things come up in life that force you to revisit past issues etc and I think it's to make sure you learned those lessons so you can move on to create the present and the future.

I won't stalk people on facebook because of the people I have not seen for the past 20 years a few of them have aged horribly and I prefer to remember them as they were for some reason. But if it makes you feel better and put the past into proper perspective go for it.

If I had to do it all over again I'm not sure I would change anything because I might not have landed where I am now.
 

EllieP

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I almost quit Facebook because of people that were doing exactly what you describe. They found me and send messages asking if I ever think about what could have been.

You know, I sometimes think about that. My boyfriend/fiance/ex-husband pretty much ostracized me from the senior class because of his insecurity, but that's life. And that's what happened. Nothing can change that.

To reminisce is one thing, but to try to go back and make it right? Not only is it futile but somewhat pathetic.

Forward. Go that way. Lots of things have happened since then, good and bad. Fortunately for me more good than bad.

In fact, one of my best friends from high school that I still keep up with sent me this cartoon. She said it reminded her of me and another classmate who never cared for me. Oh well, her loss.

e8635e609a6b0130396a001dd8b71c47
 

GeekLust

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Sorry for not replying in this thread sooner. I was really down in the dumps but tried to think of the positives. I took a break from facebook and when I next logged in I found out that a dear friend had passed away suddenly in Australia (he was only 38). His family maintained his account and contacted his friends to let them know. Totally devastated. Something like that happening definitely puts things into perspective and I felt like an idiot for being so shallow.

I have so much to be thankful for, no need to dwell in the past. Happy memories are the only things from the past that I should be thinking about.
 

rbkwp

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Cant say i have,mainly for the reasons you have described
altho
there are a few persons if by chance we met again, i would apologize genuinely and profusely to for my rotten behaviours in earlier days
Dont go looking for them by modern means to do so tho, not inclined ever to do that ..

Keep Well!!!
 

Who_Dun_It

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I try not to, some stuff is easier said than done though. I have so far refused to join facebook, myspace, twitter, ect too. It's nice to run into old friends and aquantences then bs with then from time to time in person, but I won't go digging for them online.