Anyone else out there a doormat for others?

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by lafever, Sep 3, 2011.

  1. lafever

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Aug 14, 2007
    Messages:
    3,179
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    82
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    U.S.
    Just wondering how many people like myself are out there who let others walk all over them, I always seem to put my life on hold for people who don't give a shit at my expense.
     
  2. helgaleena

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 8, 2006
    Messages:
    5,663
    Albums:
    2
    Likes Received:
    4
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Wisconsin USA
    I am a recovering doormat. The trick is to figure out what it is you expect in return, and be sure to receive that. Doesn't matter if it's 'equal', just that you know, and request whatever it may be.

    The worst was when I didn't have any clear idea about what I actually might want. Now that I do it is much easier to get. Don't expect the others in your life to be psychics and figure out for you what you want.
     
  3. alx

    alx
    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Feb 24, 2010
    Messages:
    1,065
    Likes Received:
    3
    Gender:
    Male
    Yes,unfortunately.
     
  4. luvmycock

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jan 20, 2010
    Messages:
    2,516
    Albums:
    2
    Likes Received:
    971
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    California
    Verified:
    Photo
    Back in school I would go out of my way to help my "friends" until I realized that some of them were users. After I realized that I said never again. I refuse to go out of my way for a person that won't do the same for me.
     
  5. D_Somer_Zieve

    D_Somer_Zieve New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 19, 2011
    Messages:
    151
    Likes Received:
    26
    Nobody should feel like a doormat get some help right now
     
  6. D_Ricky Dickardo

    D_Ricky Dickardo New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 24, 2011
    Messages:
    935
    Likes Received:
    7
    I have been a doormat for 20 years. I became aware of this about 12 years ago and broke up with my then S.O.
    Since then, I have tried to have some friends, but they all ended up using me beyond belief. The last friend walked away with a lot of money in 2008. That was the last straw and I decided then that I wasn't going to ever have another friend. It is lonely, but so far, I am a lot safer.
     
  7. B_Bjen2848

    B_Bjen2848 New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 17, 2007
    Messages:
    950
    Likes Received:
    4
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Mars, vacate in the bermuda triangle
    similar experience, when i was way younger (grade school) i learned early on what to look for in a real friend ... i also would bend over backwards to try and nice my way into dating girls when i was like a fresh/soph in high school, than i realized that in general, people won't give a fuck about you until you make them give a fuck about you and that there are VERY few people out there who would actually do the same, those are the people i try to keep in my life ...

    i used to be the door mat, now im the walker ;-)
     
  8. helgaleena

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 8, 2006
    Messages:
    5,663
    Albums:
    2
    Likes Received:
    4
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Wisconsin USA
    You will learn how to attract a different sort by getting used to your own company and enjoying that first. No rush. :love:
     
  9. D_Ricky Dickardo

    D_Ricky Dickardo New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 24, 2011
    Messages:
    935
    Likes Received:
    7
    no rush? I am 47!
    :banghead2:
     
  10. ReeseV73

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 3, 2011
    Messages:
    20
    Albums:
    2
    Likes Received:
    134
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Virginia Beach
    Verified:
    Photo
    That's not even half way there!
     
  11. D_Ricky Dickardo

    D_Ricky Dickardo New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 24, 2011
    Messages:
    935
    Likes Received:
    7
    If I live to be 94... no thanks!
     
  12. DaveyR

    DaveyR Retired Moderator
    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jun 15, 2006
    Messages:
    11,908
    Likes Received:
    8
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Northumberland
    I've a friend just now who I know lies to me constantly and let's me down last minute all the time on arrangements we make. They are not big or important lies or anything of of significance, more stuff about herself that I know is untrue. She's had an unbelievably tough time the last year and I probably let her away with more than I ever normally would do so with a friend but my patience is wearing very thin. I'm starting to feel like a doormat as I've allowed this to happen but the writing is on the wall.
     
  13. rayray

    rayray Active Member

    Joined:
    May 26, 2006
    Messages:
    849
    Likes Received:
    126
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Daytona Beach ,Florida
    He ga Edna, you hit it right on the spot with me..I totally agree with you.Who I call my best friend had walked all over me for years.I friendship evolved over a 15 year period..He is straight,I am gay.Right now I live on the west coast of Florida,he on the east coast..he now has old money,me on a budget.Anyway I always do do do for him.The difference now is he rewards me on a monatary way when I do do do for him..He is so worried about what his 4 kids think about our relationship and acts like a real homophobe. I gave him a BJ once when we just met,we were both drunk,that's his excuse.I care for him and told him I loved him and that I was not in love with him.I guess I sorta gone off subject. I've wondered if anybody else has a similar friendship as mine?
     
  14. SprinkleMe69

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 26, 2010
    Messages:
    7,882
    Likes Received:
    171
    Verified:
    Photo
    Nope. Tossed the doormat in the dumpster a few years ago. Others need to do for themselves. Unless it's the kiddies and I'm there in a heartbeat.
     
  15. SR_Ethan Hunke

    SR_Ethan Hunke New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 10, 2011
    Messages:
    75
    Likes Received:
    0
    I refuse to do anything for anyone. They got two legs that are not broken. Unfortunately I still have a soft side for children and animals, you know the ones who really can't do for themselves. Althought everyone can suck it, usually.
     
  16. helgaleena

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 8, 2006
    Messages:
    5,663
    Albums:
    2
    Likes Received:
    4
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Wisconsin USA
    Take the cyanide capsules right now then. The need for love and sex will not be leaving when you are that old.
     
  17. w1952tq

    w1952tq New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 2, 2011
    Messages:
    42
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    in a box of beans
    my fucking cuntbag of a mother is she lets my sister walk all over her like a doormat. pisses me off she gave 60,000 dollars to her just to buy soem stupid shit for her dog and to pay her rent on her condo in downtown spokane. and she refuses to work and I bust my balls at realnetworks working 60+ hour workweeks!!!! and mom keeps bitching me out for not having a "normal job" and she'd rather have me work at fricking apple bees or starbucks being a cuntbag manager that makes my employees suck my dick. she literally said that one day.
     
  18. helgaleena

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 8, 2006
    Messages:
    5,663
    Albums:
    2
    Likes Received:
    4
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Wisconsin USA
    I hope you don't live with your mom.
    :shock:
     
  19. w1952tq

    w1952tq New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 2, 2011
    Messages:
    42
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    in a box of beans
    I don't!!!!!!
     
  20. B_625girth

    B_625girth New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 30, 2007
    Messages:
    2,372
    Likes Received:
    13
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    midwest
    I've had that problem many yrs ago. I just got fed up with other people and myself for allowing it to happen. sometimes it was being used because I had a car, other times I was used for sex. one gal I have known for 40 yrs, I don't see her that often anymore but I actually kind of string her along and then never do any of the stuff that we talk about. so I'm just not having nothing to do with her, I'm being revengeful. I've had other people complaing to me about her. I tell them she's a taker, she's not a giver. she will never do anything for you out of the kindness of her heart unless there is something in it for her. and couple have come back to me later and told me I was right.
     
Draft saved Draft deleted