Anyone else out there a doormat for others?

[D_Ricky Dickardo]

people like us are known as "enablers"

 

[MarkLondon]

It dawned on me years ago that if you will insist on lying down in front of people then yes, they will treat you as a doormat.

So I don't do that anymore.

 

[boyboyboyboy]

Just wondering how many people like myself are out there who let others walk all over them, I always seem to put my life on hold for people who don't give a shit at my expense.

I guess I used to be one, but definitely not anymore. For me, it was an issue of getting approval so I had low self esteem.

Another aspect was that I blamed the exterior world a lot - why I could not be this and that. Things changed for the better - the most important element that caused a chance in me is being aware of yourself.

Let me give you an example: you may go around helping people, making them your priority and you may tell yourself - well, i am a nice and compassion guy and I show empathy and I help - why is that bad? I am just nice. The truth may be though, that you just need others approval.

So for me, taking responsibility over my own life caused a change reaction - it made my confidence go up, and it turns I needed less approval from others. I no more was a push over, and no more people walked over me.

I am a nice guy, and I go out of my ways to help a friends and even strangers. However, I am intelligent to know who are using me, and who are not.

Anyway, I hope my post helped you a little bit.

 

[D_Sam Rockswell]

As much as i'd hate to say it. Yeah, i have been and are but only with certain people at the moment. Working on it though as it's difficult to adapt skills you've never had and never thought were useful. Its not until you begin to realize your own importance that you realize a change needs to be made.

 

[B_debonair87]

nope. i was when younger but i became stronger and wiser.

I let NO ONE walk over me. NO ONE. the other day my supervisor was trying to make me look like an idiot infront of everyone and i told him off. next day he tries to have a 1on1 meeting with me and i told him he had no business talking to me like that and he goes "well i'm your supervisor" and i said "i don't give a damn you're not gonna be talking to me like i'm a dog"

 

[boyboyboyboy]

I forget to mention on my blog, one should be careful and not go to the other side -which is over protection - a bit defensive, and aggressiveness. If you are there - then you probably are masking your problem. I think in my little blog, I wrote this but it is important to stay true to your character and became aware who are using you, and who are your friends.

 

[helgaleena]

It dawned on me years ago that if you will insist on lying down in front of people then yes, they will treat you as a doormat.

So I don't do that anymore.

AMEN! And if you give someone a leg up, make certain you put them down again fast.

 

[D_Ricky Dickardo]

Self-esteem plays a large part in this. Some people (like myself) feel that they have to "buy" friends by doing things for them.

 

[Gamm]

I appreciate hearing I'm not alone. Thanks all.

 

[DrCalvin]

i used to be, i used to really care what people thought of me. i used to not want to make people not like me and be mad at me. now i just say "sorry, no" and have an "awwwww, thats too bad attitude" if all they do is use me

 

[helgaleena]

Self-esteem plays a large part in this. Some people (like myself) feel that they have to "buy" friends by doing things for them.

Let them beg. I saw that gallery of yours and you could just stand there and get people to beg, easily :tongue:

 

[IntoxicatingToxin]

I can't say I've ever been a doormat. I've always been good at standing up for myself and ensuring I get treated in a way I feel appropriate.

 

[ConstantComment]

I try to keep my level of giving at the same level of receiving from that person.

I had an incident a couple of years ago. I was out with a friend clubbing. Just when we thought we would call it a night, we were on the street and she started a conversation about an errant friend. I was quite interested in the conversation but as it was 11pm and we were already in go home mode, I only wanted to continue the conversation next to the bus stop. It was actually just across the street. She in fact lived in the neighnorhood. So at any given moment that we would end the conversation, she would simply walk home. My journey home was dependent on the bus schedule.

She refused to cross the street with me, citing the fact that she didn;t live in that direction. Strangely enough, it took me a couple secondes to come my senses. I told her that I did not want to miss the next bus and so I would go ahead cross the street. I reassured her that she could call me to continue the conversation and I never heard from her about that. So it wasn't that important anyway.

Two years later, a mutual friend complained to me about her as they were both purusuing cookery businesses but in different types of cusine. While my friend had gone to a few of the can't cross the street friend's cookery classses (and paid full price to go), this woman did not return my friend's calls when she wanted to share tips and expreinces related to the cookery classes.

Neither or the other friend hear from her these days. So I guess she has found some new friends to get her needs met.

 

[TexasTail4U2Use]

Unfortunately......

http://www.lpsg.org/258734-am-i-stupid-or-what.html