Anyone ever come out, then changed their mind?

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by travisblue, Mar 7, 2011.

  1. travisblue

    travisblue New Member

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    So ya what if you were str8 but really into gay porn or jo buddies, and decided you were bi or gay and told a couple of your closest friends and family members, but then when you finally got some dick found out you were really not into it at all. Would you then tell everyone you decided you didn't like the cock and are str8 again? Would you try out a few more to be sure? would you just say 'fuck it i'd rather stay gay rather than have everyone think i can't make up my mind?" What do the str8 guys think of somebody that did that? what do the gay guys think of this person?

    totally trolling you. but still. i know this has happened.
     
  2. QQCachew

    QQCachew New Member

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    Kind of. I came out to close friends, then went back in when word spread in high school. I got picked on enough.
     
  3. travisblue

    travisblue New Member

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    that sucks. but if it cheers you up any i think hs sucked for at least two-thirds of everyone. just jocks, cheerleaders, and popular people enjoying that party.
     
  4. D_Harry_Crax

    D_Harry_Crax Account Disabled

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    Well, travisblue is talking about announcing that one is gay, and then realizing that one really isn't. QQ is talking about announcing that one is gay, and then realizing it was the wrong time and place to come out, while still acknowledging at least to oneself that one is gay. Those are two different scenarios.
     
  5. travisblue

    travisblue New Member

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    true swede. i caught that too but didn't want to kick the puppy. i figured somebody would get the thread back on the rails. dick.
    so how bout it? anyone?
     
  6. maxcok

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  7. NoH8

    NoH8 Member

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    I think the people on this board are at the cutting edge (way out in front) of the stereotype of Str8 sexuality. Most people don't understand that you can be str8 and enjoy fantasizing about or fetishizing big cocks, because gay is who you love and if you really love women you're not 100% gay.

    I used to live with a guy who (before I met him) thought he was gay for about 2 years. He liked the leather/fetish lifestyle and he loves cocks. He enjoyed being fucked, but he loves women, not men. So after trying to deal with the expectation that he was gay, he finally discovered that he's not. Cocks for him are like toys to play with, and so he bought his GF a strap-on. That taught me a lesson not to stereotype.

    When I was in my thirties I shared a house with 3 straight guys. We watched straight porn all the time. We all loved the big cocks! I didn't know how much I had in common with my str8 friends. They loved anal and MMF threesomes. They told me that they used to go to gay clubs for the music but also to pick up guys who would bottom for them. They knew I was gay and were cool enough to ask me to join a threesome - I was too shy and was afraid of upsetting the delicate balance and fun atmosphere we had in the house by getting emotionally involved with one very hot Housemate.

    They would watch Harry Reams and Ron Jeremy and John Holmes etc and groan in ecstasy at their money shots especially the anal and DP ones. BUT they weren't emotional about men, and that's the big difference between them and me. I'm just as fascinated by big cocks and hot straight studs as they are, but I get emotional about men. It's about who we fall in love with.

    The person you described who thought they might be gay because they love cocks in porn fantasies and JO sessions may not be gay. They may not have met the right man, or they might not have met the right woman. I guess it's safe to say, many more men than you might expect get turned on by the thought of a big dick, but it's also safe to say many of them are actually straight. If we loosen up this stereotype we may all be a lot happier.

    BTW one of the coolest sweetest straight guys is Str8Cam Jeff who won the best amateur webcam site - he shows how much fun straight guys and gay guys can have together without pretending to be what you're not.
     
  8. maxcok

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    ^ I've got news for you, the "straight" friends you described weren't entirely straight.
    That doesn't mean they were gay, it means there are more than two polarized choices on this exam.

    Here's more news: sexual orientation isn't necessarily defined by "who we fall in love with".
    That's why it's called sexual orientation and not romantic orientation.
     
  9. DV8

    DV8
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    Thank you and Amen! God, I luv you!

    But to comment on the thread- if you love the cock and you love women, then it just needs to be acknowledged and accepted that you're bisexual. Take me for example- whenever someone asks if I'm gay, straight, or bi, I give them an explanation. I identify myself as a gay male, because I prefer to date men. But sexually, I am bisexual. I can, and from time to time, do sleep with women. If I had to choose between and man or a woman, I'd choose a man. Shit happens. Personally, I don't believe that you should come out of any closet unless you know for sure what you enjoy- otherwise, you're just confusing others and yourself. That to me is just logical. Experiment first. By the way, after you've slept with more than 3 guys and liked it each time, you're no longer experimenting- I know it's easier to hide behind that straight label, but get over it.

    Like the "Straight" guys that were mentioned above. No, they weren't straight- that's a bunch of bullshit. I don't know of any straight guys who enjoy fucking men. Just because they're not taking the cock doesn't make it any less of a homosexual act- they are still fucking guys. Where the hell do people come up with this shit? "Dude, I'm not gay or bi, I'm straight. I just like to go to gay bars and dance, and pick up hot guys to fuck, and shoot my load all over their faces and backs." You know what we call these men in the gay community? TOPS!
     
    #9 DV8, Mar 8, 2011
    Last edited: Mar 8, 2011
  10. NoH8

    NoH8 Member

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    Hi, Your 1st piece of news is old news. I think that's exactly what the housemates were... Not entirely straight, but they self-identified as straight because they were primarily interested in women and would fall in love with women and not men.

    I'm not sure your second piece of news is acurate. I think the jury may still be out on the importance of emotional attachment in determining sexuality. On the other hand, meeting these people who self-identified as straight suggested to me that they were describing the gender orientation of their emotional attachments as well as whom they most often prefer as a sex partner.

    To return to the topic, I agree with those above who said that one shouldn't come out until one is sure, but some people may never be really sure. Coming out as "unsure" or bisexual may open up options for support or counselling that they might otherwise miss, as well as risking rejection and ostracism - so it's a tricky ballance.

    In other threads on this board guys who identify as straight but who also have sex with men have complained about the flaming they so often get from gays for not "coming out" or not being "honest". These guys don't believe that labelling themselves as "Str8" is dishonest and some are more reluctant to date gay guys as a result. Looking at the groups on this site I can see many that are for just such men who enjoy being together without the pressure of being labled gay. I'm not so sure that it's just a cop out. It might be protective, but it also might be because emotionally/sexually women are their focus. The wonderful thing is that the new Str8 man no longer sees another man's body as taboo. I think that's progress.

    It's pretty hard to reverse the decision to come out. I remember once at university I wished that I hadn't come out when I joined a class with a hunky jock who seemed to be quite uncomfortable around me; it kind of spoilt my fantasies. Aside from trivial episodes like this, I have gained a lot of freedom and acceptance by coming out, and much of that was self-acceptance.
     
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