Anyone Ever Had To File A Restraining Order?

Cecil56

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No experience here. File it for paper background and to show you tried the legal aspect.

Then get a gun to get done what need's getting done, should worst come to worst.

Cop's are minutes away from problems that can happen in 30 seconds.

Hope it never come's to that for your sake!
 

LaFemme

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Not personally, but I’ve helped several women with getting one.

Getting a restraining order is risky. It’s often necessary for legal reasons, but it tends to do the opposite of what’s intended. More often than not, the order escalates the situation. I’d recommend women with an order (I don’t know any men), seek out a women’s shelter, go out of town for a few weeks, or stay somewhere where they won’t be alone. That court order just pisses the orderee off.

The other caution is to not break the terms of the order yourself. No calls, meetups for coffee - stick to it. If the order is broken, the police and the courts are less likely to take a dangerous situation seriously.

And in my experience, the subject of the order is usually able to get the person who got the order to meet and break/drop the order. It’s a cycle that goes on until one of them is in the hospital or dead.
 

Phil Ayesho

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Be aware that any good HR department checks for restraining orders.
Not just for those filed against a person they are thinking of hiring, but also those filed BY a person they are considering hiring.

A woman I knew had filed 4 restraining orders against 3 different guys, and saw ever increasing difficulty finding a job.
HR people see a pattern of filing restraining orders as indicative of poor judgement or a potentially problematic employee.



What it comes down to is that the only kind of person you ever actually need a restraining order against is the exact kind of person least likely to honor one, and the most likely to be angered by one.

A restraining order buys you nothing of worth. Its a record that others can view and that they may interpret negatively.
They show no history of being effective against anyone who is an actual threat. How many stories of domestic violence have you seen that explain that the killer defied a restraining order?

Moreover, what's the point of legal escalation against someone who is Not an actual threat?
It makes it marginally easier to get the police involved- but the police will respond to any domestic violence issue, anyhow.


The best advice is to never ever ever, under any circumstance, be alone with the person. Always have a witness because that witness will determine which person get's arrested if the cops get called in.

Generally, persistent withdrawal and disengagement work better over the long haul. Avoid being confrontational or argumentative. Harassing phone calls can be dealt with by blocking numbers, or, if necessary getting a new number.

And if that shows no sign of working- do not count on a document in a drawer at the county courthouse to protect you.
If you have to move, move.

Advice to arm yourself is fine and dandy- but folks out to kill you almost always figure out a way to make it a big surprise- killers always know they are gonna pull a trigger first.

And who the hell wants to live their lives in perpetual fear, clutching a gun in their pocket?
 
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Scarletbegonia

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My ex and I considered it with a neighbor who was problematic and violent. luckily, he managed to violate his parole enough to get an all expenses paid vacation back to Canon City.
We documented his actions and threats, and once he waved a gun at us, we called a friend who was an attorney for a referral. (He did cannabis law)
We paid the fee, and were in the process of filing when we discovered his parole status. Luckily, we’d photographed the gun incident, and contacted his PO.

it was not an easy decision. Our houses were actually closer together than the order specified.
We would have to use only the front door, as using the (closer to parking) back door would put us within the specified no contact zone.
what was helpful was the neighbor on the other side was considering an order, too.
 
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Gj816

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Was it hard to do? Was it helpful having it in place? Any random advice or stuff you wish you'd done differently with respect to filing one?


If you are considering a restraining order or order of protection. Get out of that situation. Leave and go somewhere else.

A piece of paper is useless.
The local police are a phone call away and depending on the situation can take awhile to arrive. They also have the option of taking both parties to jail and booking them.

It's so much easier to get out of that situation completely. Cut your losses, let it go, and move on.
 

TexanStar

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If you are considering a restraining order or order of protection. Get out of that situation. Leave and go somewhere else.

A piece of paper is useless.
The local police are a phone call away and depending on the situation can take awhile to arrive. They also have the option of taking both parties to jail and booking them.

It's so much easier to get out of that situation completely. Cut your losses, let it go, and move on.

You have some weird misunderstanding of the situation.
 

Gj816

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You have some weird misunderstanding of the situation.

Obviously not!
You're asking about a restraining order for a reason. If you're just asking out of morbid curiosity because you have nothing better to do then you are bored.

As someone who has police officers in their family I know first hand that anyone asking about restraining orders isn't doing so out of Idle curiosity. You are either thinking of having one served or you've been served. Either way doesn't bother me.
 

TexanStar

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Obviously not!
You're asking about a restraining order for a reason. If you're just asking out of morbid curiosity because you have nothing better to do then you are bored.

As someone who has police officers in their family I know first hand that anyone asking about restraining orders isn't doing so out of Idle curiosity. You are either thinking of having one served or you've been served. Either way doesn't bother me.

Yes I was thinking about filing one. But the rest of your post is nonsensical for the situation.

And everyone has police officers in their family somewhere. It's like saying you know how to build a bridge because you have a cousin who's an engineer.

It's more about confirming what's the best groundwork to help support a justification of self defense should it ever come to it. The person in question is a convicted serial rapist & child molester who's been released from prison and flagged on the sex offender registry as a child predator but is no longer actively supervised and has recently made some attempt to contact and/or threaten us.

I'll be discussing it with my local police department, I was just curious about people's experience with restraining orders since I've never been in a position before where I needed to file one.

@Phil Ayesho 's advice is of greater use than your suggestion that we try to enter the federal witness protection program or whatever other dumbassery you're offering.
 

Gj816

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Yes I was thinking about filing one. But the rest of your post is nonsensical for the situation.

And everyone has police officers in their family somewhere. It's like saying you know how to build a bridge because you have a cousin who's an engineer.

It's more about confirming what's the best groundwork to help support a justification of self defense should it ever come to it. The person in question is a convicted serial rapist & child molester who's been released from prison and flagged on the sex offender registry as a child predator but is no longer actively supervised and has recently made some attempt to contact and/or threaten us.

I'll be discussing it with my local police department, I was just curious about people's experience with restraining orders since I've never been in a position before where I needed to file one.

@Phil Ayesho 's advice is of greater use than your suggestion that we try to enter the federal witness protection program or whatever other dumbassery you're offering.


You post for people's opinions you get them. You could've avoided all of that by simply stating that to begin with.
O wait I thought you were of the party of tolerance and acceptance. Obviously not.
Meh
 

TexanStar

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You post for people's opinions you get them. You could've avoided all of that by simply stating that to begin with.
O wait I thought you were of the party of tolerance and acceptance. Obviously not.
Meh

I asked if anyone had experience with filing them.

You don't.
 

cedarizzo

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There has been 2 times that we've filed for a restraining order. The first time, my aunt, who was still living with my grandfather, was abusing his finances. He also complained about how she was treating him, but at the time, we thought it was easier to go after her about his finances. We filed for the temporary restraining order, it was granted. We then went to court a second time for the regular restraining order. We had about 30 family members testify against her and ask for the restraining order to keep her away. The judge denied the restraining order because in the previous 2 months she had no contact with anybody in the family and the judge said she wasn't a threat.

The other time, my partner filed a restraining order against his neighbors a few years ago. He was having problems with the neighbors driving through his yard and harassing him when he got mad at them for driving through his yard. He had the police down there many times, the police even went over to the neighbors and talked to them, but of course they denied it.

The police officer, who is a friend, said you need to file for a restraining order. We did the paperwork and a few days later the neighbors got served. They were pissed off. They came over screaming and carrying on about how they weren't doing that.

They went to court, the judge agreed to a temporary restraining order. But they had to be back in 2 months for the 2 year restraining order. For the next 2 months, the neighbors did absolutely nothing wrong. They didn't drive through the yard. They kept to themselves. When they went to court the second time, they got up and lied their asses off to the judge. Said my partner was a drunk and was constantly having people over. They said that they were being harassed by my partner. Said that my partner went over there one day and grabbed the lady by the throat and threatened her. And they cried about how they would lose their home business if they had a restraining order against them. In the end, the judge didn't issue a 2 year restraining order.

Good luck, getting a restraining order can be a bitch.
 
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Scarletbegonia

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Does Texas have some form of self defense/stand your ground/castle doctrine law?
Would resorting to that suffice in an immediate threat situation? Assuming you have lethal or near lethal weaponry.
Or is it something along general harassment day in, day out?
 

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Does Texas have some form of self defense/stand your ground/castle doctrine law?
Would resorting to that suffice in an immediate threat situation? Assuming you have lethal or near lethal weaponry.
Or is it something along general harassment day in, day out?
It does, the Texas Defense of Habitation Law.