- Joined
- Jul 7, 2007
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- 100% Straight, 0% Gay
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- Female
I've brought this up before, but not in detail. And a lot of people "frowned" on me, which is their right.
But I want to know if anyone has gone through anything SIMILAR to this, and if they have any words of wisdom to offer.
- - - - - -
I am in an LTR where I am more or less REQUIRED to "cheat."
Our sexual "glue" revolves around my having relations with other men. Either alone with the man, or in a threesome with the "other man" and my LTR.
That doesn't mean that I do this frequently. But my guy talks about it all the time.
He used to be over the moon about having sex with me -- but now, if the element of "other men" isn't present, he doesn't "get crazy" with/for me.
I'm actually really sad about this. I can undress and he barely looks at me. I can get down on my knees and unzip his fly and (use your imagination), he'll get hard, but he'll barely touch me. And he doesn't reciprocate.
But if he's just talked with another man about me, then he can't keep his hands off me. It kinda hurts because I don't feel like he's attracted to ME anymore. I feel that he's attracted to MEN'S attraction to me.
What worries me is this: I'm a mom. Age-wise, I'm technically "over the hill". My looks aren't going to last forever.
At some point, I'm going to become embarrassed about "having" to find/attract other men. (Or maybe, I'll still be foxy to older men when I'm older, and maybe that'll be satisfactory)
Meantime, my guy is what I call "part-bi" -- he was sexually abused as a kid by his stepdad who used to make him suck his cock. A lot. Anyway, sucking cocks became part of his sexual wiring, and he enjoys talking about sucking cocks. He also, occasionally and very rarely, sucks a "clean cock" (e.g. a married man). Usually while the two of them are looking at photos of me or talking about double tagging me.
(I know, weird.)
Now, I'd much rather he suck a married man's dick than chase other women. Especially since he's in the public eye a lot, he's really good looking and women frequently pursue him.
Yes, yes, you say -- why don't I just leave him?
Because he's my best friend, and he's put up with a lot of shit from me over the years when I went through some gnarly phases -- and yet he's still here.
We also work on some work projects together.
Also, I'm a bit of a hermit. I would live in a cave, just me and my computer (I write and illustrate), if he didn't drag me out into the real world.
- - - - -
So -- is this a phase?
Will he ever want ME again?
Or am I doomed to forever courting other men in order to get MY man to look at me?
But I want to know if anyone has gone through anything SIMILAR to this, and if they have any words of wisdom to offer.
- - - - - -
I am in an LTR where I am more or less REQUIRED to "cheat."
Our sexual "glue" revolves around my having relations with other men. Either alone with the man, or in a threesome with the "other man" and my LTR.
That doesn't mean that I do this frequently. But my guy talks about it all the time.
He used to be over the moon about having sex with me -- but now, if the element of "other men" isn't present, he doesn't "get crazy" with/for me.
I'm actually really sad about this. I can undress and he barely looks at me. I can get down on my knees and unzip his fly and (use your imagination), he'll get hard, but he'll barely touch me. And he doesn't reciprocate.
But if he's just talked with another man about me, then he can't keep his hands off me. It kinda hurts because I don't feel like he's attracted to ME anymore. I feel that he's attracted to MEN'S attraction to me.
What worries me is this: I'm a mom. Age-wise, I'm technically "over the hill". My looks aren't going to last forever.
At some point, I'm going to become embarrassed about "having" to find/attract other men. (Or maybe, I'll still be foxy to older men when I'm older, and maybe that'll be satisfactory)
Meantime, my guy is what I call "part-bi" -- he was sexually abused as a kid by his stepdad who used to make him suck his cock. A lot. Anyway, sucking cocks became part of his sexual wiring, and he enjoys talking about sucking cocks. He also, occasionally and very rarely, sucks a "clean cock" (e.g. a married man). Usually while the two of them are looking at photos of me or talking about double tagging me.
(I know, weird.)
Now, I'd much rather he suck a married man's dick than chase other women. Especially since he's in the public eye a lot, he's really good looking and women frequently pursue him.
Yes, yes, you say -- why don't I just leave him?
Because he's my best friend, and he's put up with a lot of shit from me over the years when I went through some gnarly phases -- and yet he's still here.
We also work on some work projects together.
Also, I'm a bit of a hermit. I would live in a cave, just me and my computer (I write and illustrate), if he didn't drag me out into the real world.
- - - - -
So -- is this a phase?
Will he ever want ME again?
Or am I doomed to forever courting other men in order to get MY man to look at me?