- Joined
- Nov 12, 2005
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- Lenexa (Kansas, United States)
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- Sexuality
- 80% Straight, 20% Gay
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- Male
Some background: I've always been a monogamist (just because it's the norm) who has never cheated on anyone I've been with, and I am now currently engaged. We are compatible in every way except sexually, she's bisexual with a preference towards women and I tend to hurt her a lot during sex. That being said, our friendship and our ability to live together and love each other is certainly the best I've ever experienced. Our relationship is just so easy compared to others because we understand each other and don't let little things become big problems. That said, our sex life is a bit lacking lately. It's gotten to the point where our mutual lack of interest has kind of shut things down sexually for a long time.
So anyways, we've always talked about polygamy, possibly bringing other people into the bedroom occasionally or even seeing others. We're not the jealous type, and we're realists who expect that we won't be together until we die simply because people change over the years and so do their desires. Also the divorce rate tends to back up that belief that trying to be solely committed forever is at the very best difficult, or at the very worst, naive.
And then there's her old childhood friend who is in a polygamic relationship with her husband and another girl. They've only been doing this for roughly a year, and while there are some issues, it hasn't seemed to be any more tumultuous that a typical monogamic relationship. Also, on a side note, my fiance had a crush on this girl for years when she was younger. Her friend is also bisexual, however they never got together just due to timing.
Now maybe I'm reading into things too much, but recently it seems like my fiance is shifting things in the direction of something happening. Kind of like how we sometimes say something as a joke when it's what we really mean, about how she might have to "stud me out". Also her friend has been talking to me more one on one lately, finding reasons to make physical contact and giving me some prolonged eye contact when we're in group situations. I've also been reciprocating this attention by trying to be generally charming / funny bordering on the flirtatious.
Obviously, I'm not doing anything without my fiance's blessing (or assistance :biggrin1
. If we get to a point where I just want to be with someone else and not her, I'll break up with her like an adult rather than just run off with someone else. It's just that I love her and understand that sometimes people have problems with stuff like sex.
My question is have any of you ever made something like this work, or does it end up being a relationship killing drama fest? Also do I sound like a naive idiot, or a quasi-realist with delusions of grandeur? I understand it would be complicated, but life is complicated and the current sex life we've got is pretty tepid at the moment.
What say ye?
So anyways, we've always talked about polygamy, possibly bringing other people into the bedroom occasionally or even seeing others. We're not the jealous type, and we're realists who expect that we won't be together until we die simply because people change over the years and so do their desires. Also the divorce rate tends to back up that belief that trying to be solely committed forever is at the very best difficult, or at the very worst, naive.
And then there's her old childhood friend who is in a polygamic relationship with her husband and another girl. They've only been doing this for roughly a year, and while there are some issues, it hasn't seemed to be any more tumultuous that a typical monogamic relationship. Also, on a side note, my fiance had a crush on this girl for years when she was younger. Her friend is also bisexual, however they never got together just due to timing.
Now maybe I'm reading into things too much, but recently it seems like my fiance is shifting things in the direction of something happening. Kind of like how we sometimes say something as a joke when it's what we really mean, about how she might have to "stud me out". Also her friend has been talking to me more one on one lately, finding reasons to make physical contact and giving me some prolonged eye contact when we're in group situations. I've also been reciprocating this attention by trying to be generally charming / funny bordering on the flirtatious.
Obviously, I'm not doing anything without my fiance's blessing (or assistance :biggrin1
. If we get to a point where I just want to be with someone else and not her, I'll break up with her like an adult rather than just run off with someone else. It's just that I love her and understand that sometimes people have problems with stuff like sex. My question is have any of you ever made something like this work, or does it end up being a relationship killing drama fest? Also do I sound like a naive idiot, or a quasi-realist with delusions of grandeur? I understand it would be complicated, but life is complicated and the current sex life we've got is pretty tepid at the moment.
What say ye?
