Anyone had or nearly had nsa sex with someone they just met?

[FeroxFemina]

Ok.. this is a long story so I will stick to the key points.

I met a guy online and we were going to meet last night. Something came up and I cancelled. Today we were exchanging texts and he wanted to meet me during his lunch break.

I go to him, we walk together and end up in a public park. He kisses me as soon as he can (which I was ok with) but was very specific about what he wanted 'put your arm there, move your leg that way, lie on my chest, turn your head a little'.

He then proceeded to tell me about all the other girls he has met and had nsa relationships with. 'This one was mental, another one moved away etc'. He has basically met up with a lot of women.... he may have been bragging and so made it up, or it may have been genuine.

He extended his lunch break to spend more time with me and asked if he could see me tomorrow night.

When it was time for me to leave he was reluctant to let me go and wanted to do a lot more kissing (not something I do to that degree in public).

Then he let me go and I left.

Overall I find some aspects of the experience exciting and adventurous but I really don't think this kind of thing is for me. This was the first time I have ever done anything like that.

I am now questionning my morality, how much I value and respect myself and basically what the hell was I thinking!

Am I abnormal?

I've had 2 major relationships, a few mistakes (but people I knew) and thats it... I've never been with someone I didn't love or care very much about. I have come out of a relationship where I was starting to feel suffocated and desperately want to enjoy my freedom. Am I going about it all the wrong way?

The fact that I am even asking shows my own confusion and the fact that I already believe I am on the wrong road completely.... where do I go from here?

 

[D_Glansthorpe Schmuck]

"Morality" is relative, thats the most important thing to realize

 

[need2bsexy2]

I have had several NSA encounters and enjoyed them all. We meet, have sex, and never see each other again. I love women that are open to this type of encounter. They have all been different in their responsiveness and appreciative of the experience. I cherish the memories and, via email, know that many of them do too.

 

[FeroxFemina]

Did I just meet someone who is a little bit too experienced in nsa and is maybe just very sure of what he wants?

Am I a bad person and would you consider a woman who has no strings relations to be a whore?

 

[Bbucko]

Did I just meet someone who is a little bit too experienced in nsa and is maybe just very sure of what he wants?

Am I a bad person and would you consider a woman who has no strings relations to be a whore?

Whores work for monetary reward, not for pleasure.

 

[FeroxFemina]

A slut then perhaps?

 

[Bbucko]

A slut then perhaps?

Why would you choose such a pejorative label for yourself?

 

[blaquehorse]

The fact that you took a chance doesn't necessarily make you a whore. Lots of men do it and if they aren't tagged as whores then i guess its ok. As long as you want it.

 

[FRE]

A slut then perhaps?

No you're not.

We've all done things that in retrospect we wish that we hadn't done, but there is no point in making a big deal of it. The fact that the guy blatantly bragged about his conquests (and apparently that's what he considered them to be since he evidently had no respect for them) would be off-putting. Perhaps you could have handled it better, but probably it was an unfamiliar situation for you so you didn't have the best possible response in your repertoire. Probably if the same situation arises again, you will be better prepared to deal with it in a way that is compatible with your value system.

 

[FeroxFemina]

For now it's put me off completely!

 

[Bbucko]

For now it's put me off completely!

The obvious answer is that if you're feeling conflicted about NSA sex then you should abstain. Use the downtime to assess your feelings and how to interpret this reaction you're experiencing.

Honestly, I think you'd have a better chance at meaningful responses if this thread were moved to the Women's Issues forum, but that's just me.

 

[HiddenLacey]

Clueless here, what is NSA sex?

 

[L_egit]

No Strings Attached.

 

[petite]

You just made out with him? The fact that it bothers you so much should tell you that you are doing something that violates your own personal code of conduct. I hate that feeling, so I let my desire to avoid that feeling guide my behavior.

I picked up a complete stranger in a bar in Las Vegas and slept with him. I don't consider myself a slut, but I knew when I did it that it was just a one time experience for me. I was satisfying a curiosity. If I did that sort of thing regularly then I would feel differently about myself.

Clueless here, what is NSA sex?

I was just about to ask that!

 

[HiddenLacey]

No Strings Attached.

Oh! Thanks!

To the original poster. No, personally I can't seperate my feelings from sex. So no matter what, I would have to feel attachment to the person... and in the end my feelings would still be hurt. Even if I knew the deal from the beginning. I've had two partners and both were long term relationships. I have a friend that consistently sleeps with different guys she meets on the internet... and she always feels bad afterward, but she still does it to feel close to someone. My best friend has been doing the same thing on and off for years and acts like she gets what she wants from them and moves on to the next one. Only do it if your sure. So you don't regret it afterward. And your not a whore. People have needs and wants. We all deal with them differently.

 

[L_egit]

Oh! Thanks!

To the original poster. No, personally I can't seperate my feelings from sex. So no matter what, I would have to feel attachment to the person... and in the end my feelings would still be hurt. Even if I knew the deal from the beginning. I've had two partners and two long term relationships. I have a friend that consistently sleeps with different guys she meets on the internet... and she always feels bad afterward, but she still does it to feel close to someone. My best friend has been doing the same thing on and off for years and acts like she gets what she wants from them and moves on to the next one. Only do it if your sure. So you don't regret it afterward. And your not a whore. People have needs and wants. We all deal with them differently.

While we all might deal with them differently, I have to agree that sex between two people that love each other seems to produce physically and emotionally superior results by far. Then again, that might be because I've had the privilege of being very picky regarding the few women I've decided to give my heart to over the years.

Even when taking into account horrendous sexual technique, loving sex seems to make problems seem like temporary obstacles, and successes like permanent milestones.

But that's just me. Could be that I'm a sop when it comes to love.

 

[FRE]

Oh! Thanks!

To the original poster. No, personally I can't seperate my feelings from sex. So no matter what, I would have to feel attachment to the person... and in the end my feelings would still be hurt. Even if I knew the deal from the beginning. I've had two partners and both were long term relationships. I have a friend that consistently sleeps with different guys she meets on the internet... and she always feels bad afterward, but she still does it to feel close to someone. My best friend has been doing the same thing on and off for years and acts like she gets what she wants from them and moves on to the next one. Only do it if your sure. So you don't regret it afterward. And your not a whore. People have needs and wants. We all deal with them differently.

You seem to have a friend with a compulsive behavior problem; it's quite common. She may need help to overcome it. You obviously understand why she does it. If she felt better about herself, she probably wouldn't do it.

 

[HiddenLacey]

While we all might deal with them differently, I have to agree that sex between two people that love each other seems to produce physically and emotionally superior results by far. Then again, that might be because I've had the privilege of being very picky regarding the few women I've decided to give my heart to over the years.

Even when taking into account horrendous sexual technique, loving sex seems to make problems seem like temporary obstacles, and successes like permanent milestones.

But that's just me. Could be that I'm a sop when it comes to love.

Yep I'm a Sop to. It can be rather aggraviating to people who don't understand that some us of choose to see the wonderful part of everything and everyone. Love is just a start, sex just wouldnt be the same for me.

 

[HiddenLacey]

You seem to have a friend with a compulsive behavior problem; it's quite common. She may need help to overcome it. You obviously understand why she does it. If she felt better about herself, she probably wouldn't do it.

Yes she has bad self esteem issues with her weight. And shes constantly meeting guys off "dating" sites. I keep telling her that most of them really don't want a "date" but she falls for the same lines over and over. The same lies. Has sex with them. They suddenly they fade out of her life. And she's left wondering what she did wrong. Believe me I pep talk her just about everyday. She just wants someone to love her. I keep trying to tell her she has to love herself. She's also frantic because she just turned 40 and she wants to have a baby so every guys she meets sets her up for the homerun.:frown1:

 

[TheRob]

rest assured you lack morals : o )
I mean everyone lacks morals in someone's opinion
but if you are thinking that doing something would make you feel bad about yourself, don't do it
pretty simple realy
get t know the guy first