Anyone have an anger problem? I do.

[goodwood]

ssongs -

are you able to feel the anger/rages coming on? like, does it start out with a web page that takes too long to load and that pissees you off and then every little thing after that pisses you off?

is there any common thread about what triggers you to have these spells of anger that you can think of?

that's a great idea to work out when you are angry. i have the same thing when i am upset - i can lift wayyy more than i can when i am not upset, even when i try, so that's a good outlet but may not always be an option when you get really angry.

if you are able to realize when you start to get angry, then it might be easier to keep from getting angrier, but i wonder if the anger just comes on all of a sudden, out of nowhere and before you know it, its just out of control. and when you are smashing things, do you realize what you are doing? or is the anger so blonding that sometimes you don't even remember exactly what you were breaking until its over and the cloud has lifted? i have known this to happen sometimes.

 

[ssongs]

Hey goodwood. Sometimes I can feel it coming on. At first I'll just be getting annoyed and then whatever is pissing me off keeps happening and then I lose it. Other times I just throw something immediately or punch the wall. That usually happens when I'm doing something like cooking or practicing my instrument and I'll know what I'm doing is fine but not the way I want it. For example, my ham and cheese omelet will fall apart as I go to fold it. That sounds silly, right? It just turns into scrambled eggs when that happens, but I didn't want scrabbled eggs I wanted an omelet! Then, WHAM, frying pan and eggs goes flying across the room.

And I'll check out bi-polarism when I get back in the Navy. Definitely not before or they won't let me back in!

And, Skull Mason, my keyboard is an Alesis QS-88. A little old but it has some good sounds that I can't anywhere else so I held on to it.

 

[Principessa]

Not for nothing but, and this is for all the men and women who do this. Punching or kicking holes into walls when angry is not normal, rational behavior. Doesn't matter if you are drunk or not when it happens. The point is, it happens and y'all need to get that mess under control.

I have thrown ashtrays through walls, kicked holes in walls, punched holes in walls and doors, and one time threw one of my guitars through a window...slight anger problems when I'm drunk...to say the least

Sounds like you have two separate issues. :frown1: One drinking too much and two anger. The fact that one breeds the other doesn't make it a separate problem.

I don't have an anger problem, I have an idiot problem...that is to say I'm surrounded by them.

I told you to move out of Texas, but you wouldn't listen. :tongue:

 

[lucky8]

Ya well that was all back when I was dating this girl that used to set me off very easily, sometimes I think it was on purpose...but ya, I haven't done anything like that in at least 2 years...I think it was more so the girl than the liquor

 

[invisibleman]

Hey goodwood. Sometimes I can feel it coming on. At first I'll just be getting annoyed and then whatever is pissing me off keeps happening and then I lose it. Other times I just throw something immediately or punch the wall. That usually happens when I'm doing something like cooking or practicing my instrument and I'll know what I'm doing is fine but not the way I want it. For example, my ham and cheese omelet will fall apart as I go to fold it.That sounds silly, right? It just turns into scrambled eggs when that happens, but I didn't want scrabbled eggs I wanted an omelet! Then, WHAM, frying pan and eggs goes flying across the room.



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NJ2NfUbbQWE

or

http://www.mahalo.com/How_to_Make_the_Perfect_Omelet



And, Skull Mason, my keyboard is an Alesis QS-88. A little old but it has some good sounds that I can't anywhere else so I held on to it.

Playing the keyboards is a good way of releasing your anger.

 

[tripod]

I admit that I have anger issues. I am a blue sky with a sun and a few white clouds...but when things tip to being unfair...then it is red moon, torrential deluges, thunderstorms, hail, lightning, and maelstroms.

Anger is when you have a lot of frustrations that aren't being expressed. You should be able to express yourself. Whenever you have a lot of frustrations in your life, you have to counterbalance those frustrations with some good positive things.

I think that you have to start monitoring your emotions. And when you find that you pickup stuff...STOP. And get away from whatever is making you angry. If it is people making you angry, you should tell them to leave or stay away from them for a while. Or you could go to a room where you designate as an angry room where you have walls that are protected and padded. And you have big cardboard box of old magazines. Pillows. Foam balls. Pictures of people you hate. You can go there and throw magazines. Rip the pages. Throw the foam balls and pillows. Curse people out from A-Z. Yell. Scream. Cry. You do whatever you do in that room. Never allow your anger to be expressed outside that room.

Whenever you are angry outside of your angry room. Always make an appointment to go to your angry room and express your emotions at a later time.

An anger room is a novel but VERY interesting idea... I love it!!!! :biggrin1:

I know, I was asking you if it was a motif (type of keyboard).

I suggest you start working out a bit more and getting fit. Upgrade yourself as a person, make it a goal to become a better you, which will help you get laid. Pick up a book on spirituality and/or the ego such as A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle and you may find out where exactly this "anger" is coming from. Your outbursts seem egoic in nature, after all, you are only impressing yourself or some part of your mind with them.

Reading and perspective can help with a lot of things.

I HIGHLY agree... I am currently reading that book and it is PHENOMENAL. Ol' Eckhart is a genius!

I have been diagnosed with Explosive Anger Disorder years back, but it is Buddhism and New Age spirituality that have calmed this savage beast.

If you can't control your thoughts, then you will never master the mind... anger begins in the mind, so... go to the bookstore and buy a book. I have a 3 CD set on anger by Tich Naht Hahn, that is helpful.

Get the book that Mason brought up... it is changing my life.

 

[ZOS23xy]

what are you really covering up with your drinking and emotional tirades

Maybe he doesn't know.

Sounds like a body that could use some exercise though.

Anyway, some bi polar people get the depression in the winter, when there is less sunlight.

I find that when I was insecure, I found anything to be a good reason to be angry. I wasn't the punch holes in the wall type. I just ground my teeth.

workouts and meditation helped me considerably there.

 

[Phil Ayesho]

Anger issues stem from a mental fault.

Expectation.

your brain evolved to help you survive by taking in information about the world and creating a mental model of reality that enables you to guess what might happen in the future.
This ability to somewhat foresee future events is what gives you more control over them.

Anger and fear are the body's natural response to guessing wrong about the future. This is because, as a caveman, guessing wrong about what might happen next could very well get you killed. SO your body reacts to being wrong with a fight or flight response.

Most people in modern society are capable of intellectually realizing that they live inordinately safe existences. They can moderate their anger response to being wrong to better reflect the actual threat posed by being wrong in a given instance.

After all...your brain's guess about the future is only a guess.

But many people mistake the model in their head for ACTUAL reality... they form a Covenant of Expectation.

They do not see what they think will happen next... they see what they feel OUGHT to happen next.

And when what ought to happen does not happen... they get particularly angry, rage filled and lash out... many will try and force those around them to have the same experience by purposely thwarting the expectation of others.

In a very deep sense, these angry people are extremely self centered. They have a deep seated, unarticulated belief that how THEY think the world should go is the way it should go...how they think other people should act is the way they should act.

But the origin is the failure to recognize that how they think the world works is nothing but a 'model' of the world created by a brain with inadequate information.



You end your anger issues when you STOP imagining the world you experience ought to be some way other than it is.
When you get a sense of perspective on what REAL suffering is...and learn to pay LESS attention to your own internal state.


Here's a big hint... YOU are not the one getting angry... Your body and brain simply have an evolved response to being wrong... reacting to it as a physical threat.
Part of why you suffer the anger so is that you are not realizing that this is just a physiological reaction... that you take in that autonomic response as BEING YOURS.

Because you mistake your mental picture of the world for the way the world OUGHT to be... you react more severely to any evidence that the world doesn't follow your expectations...
And you assume your reaction to be based in REAL anger, rather than the programed response of the brain to perceived threat. Anger is you ABDICATING control over your own actions... and allowing your brain to run on a very primitive automatic.

You are allowing the non-conscuious evolutionary tool that is your brain to be in control of you... because you THINK that IS you.



ITs not. You are not the voice in your head. That is a language processor that merely converts every idle though into language as a useful tool.

You can shut that voice up... moreover, next time you catch yourself thinking in mental words... stop yourself in mid sentence and REALIZE that you already KNEW what that voice was about to say.

That observational point of consciousness is the REAL you...
And it CAN exert control over the brain that evolved as its servant.


So... meditation. Get comfortable with the silence you have the power to invoke. Learn to divorce yourself from your own mental assumptions and gain perspective on the fact that being wrong is an opportunity to ADJUST your mental model of reality... so that you can better foresee the future.


Here's an example of what I am talking about in the form of PTSD.
I was in a head on car wreck where a blue pickup came across the center line all the way across my lane and still managed to hit me as I was off the road trying to evade him.

Afterward, I found that driving down that particular road, at that particular spot, I would FEEL anxious and nauseous. And if I saw a Blue Pickup coming the other way, I would feel panic starting to rise...

However... I found myself fascinated by the fact that I DID NOT have this reaction traveling the same road in the OTHER direction. Nor did I feel panic when seeing a pickup of any other color, or any other kind of car coming the other way.

Had I EMBRACED this reaction as being something having to do with ME.. I realized I could very easily develop a full blown PTSD... I could easily see that I would start to feel anxious about driving down that road... feel anxious about driving in general... basically becoming anxious about being anxious.

What prevented that was my own ability to divorce myself from my brain's programmed response. Something bad had happened... my brain had taken the moments leading up to that bad experience ... the place, the situation, the oncoming blue truck, and had BURNED that into my mental model of reality as a "watch out!" memory.

My brain doesn't have the conscious volition to recognize that nothing in particular about that road, that direction and that color of oncoming truck was any MORE threatening than any other stretch of road or any other color of car....
But whenever I was going that way down that road it was an image and experience that MATCHED that memory... and my brain was preparing me for the circumstance that it recorded as heralding something bad.

In realizing this I was stepping aside from my physiological reaction and witnessing the action of my brain as an independent observer. It allowed me to realize that that reaction is physiological... NOT conscious.


To this day... when I drive down that road and see an oncoming blue truck...I can feel the adrenaline start to flow and my heart rate pick up...
In that same instant I observe my physical reaction, and consciously dismiss it for what it is... an involuntary knee jerk reaction, because my brain can remeber bad things as a tool meant to assist my survival.

And each time I do this... the reaction goes away... every time I drive that road, the reaction is less noticeable than before.
I am actively re-programming my brain to NOT single out that circumstance as any MORE threatening than driving in general.


This ability to OBSERVE your body/brain's reactions to threats... to observe and identify what the silly things are that your brain and body are SEEING as threats, is the key to long term mental health and overcoming anger issues.

I again highly recommend Ron Smothermon's book "winning thru enlightenment".

You CAN re-wire your brain. IT takes time.

Start by PRETENDING you are not angry.
Because you become the thing you pretend to be.

 

[D_Andreas Sukov]

you need to figure out what parts of your life you want change and change them. i went thorugh a period of being really angry all the time. i wasnt an angry child because i bottled up alot, things that i dont really like to talk about now, and i think i got to a point of my life of exploding. but now i slowly changed parts of my life and im no longer angry. i sometimes feel a rage building, which frightens me beacuse its an over reaction for something little but i can slowly quell it now.