anyone here have a family member that makes them angry EVERY time they talk?

B_bobs3304

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Yes.

My mom is infuriating and I really can't wait to move away from her.


Aside from the fact that I'll miss the apt. and my cat, it doesn't matter. She's so crazy...
 

jason_els

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Both of my parents:

My mom loves to control everyone around her because she knows what's best for them. I try not to get angry but it just doesn't stop and it's wearing after a while. She loves to bait me on her Rush/Hannity issues as well, such as healthcare and the war. It's like she needs to argue with me. When I told her I thought Bush was the worst president in my lifetime she suggested I get therapy! She also has a hard time believing the truth when I tell her things that don't mesh were her view of things. She came home one day to find the door looked like someone had tried to pry it open and I overheard her tell my stepfather it was probably me. In sixth grade a 28 year old male teacher assaulted me, throwing my desk, picking me up, and tried to hang me by my necktie by a coathook. It wasn't a clip-on tie either. He nearly killed me but when I told my mother she didn't believe me. The result was I thought I deserved to be treated like that. There are other things too. I love my mother but not as much as I used to. We don't get along at all.

My father, as one of my friends put it, "...talks to you like he's an executive giving orders." If I'm driving someplace, even locally, he'll point and tell me where to make turns. He has hired me to do some work for him on occasion and he then proceeds to tell me how to do everything he hires me to do DESPITE the fact that I've been doing my job for 15 years! The worst was when he hired me to do a class to explain the basics of the Win95 interface and then proceeded to interrupt me to the point he took over the class himself. I didn't talk to him the entire way home and he couldn't figure out why. The latest was today when he told me he thinks a framed engraving he found in the basement is a Vermeer because it's signed, "van Delft." He was looking for all kinds of information on it. I told him why not ask someone who majored in art history and he asked me who was that? Uh, that was ME. Your son. My senior paper (25&#37; of grade) was in Dutch classical art too. After I explained that Vermeer didn't do engravings he proceeded to correct me. Yes, I explained, some engravings were listed in his estate but they were never found and may not have been by him at all. He refused to believe it.

So you wonder where my self-esteem issues come from??? I can give you a BIG hint.
 

Principessa

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They should have some program like Super Nanny for sorting out horrible relatives.
Great Idea! The only problem is my mother wouldn't go unless she could teach the class.

MY GRANDMOTHER. -
Whoever said that grandmothers were sweet old women who baked cookies never met her. She is a total nightmare. She tries her best to manage and control my life even though I am here in the middle east and she is back home in texas. This woman actually calls my home and talks to the help to get a daily summary of my comings and goings so she can later grill me about my "un-satisfactory" lifestyle habits.
You have help that squeals on you!?:eek::mad: Either pay them hush money or fire them. I'm serious, they are called help for a reason. If they were supposed to make your like difficult they would be called hindrances or in my case 'mommy.'

Yah, my sister.
I spent decades trying to convince myself that because she was a sibling I necessarily had much in common with her. We just never really seemed to click. While its true that we share some life experiences it was only recently that I finally realized we really don't have the same values or temperament and that I shouldn't feel guilty about not wanting to be around her.
Yup! I came to the same conclusion with my cousin Bunnie a few years ago. She's a first cousin and about 16 years older than me. She has always tried to treat me as if she were my older sister, my older bitchier sister.:mad::tongue: I finally told my mother last year that I didn't care if she was the only child of her younger sister she was a bitch and had gone out of her way to pick on me and make me feel like crap since I was about 8 years old. When I was in NJ, I lived barely 20 minutes from her and I only saw her Thanksgiving and Christmas. . . and that was 2 times a year more than I needed. :biggrin1:

I don't know why people have so many problems setting boundaries with their family when they don't have these problems with friends.
Because we feel that we must endeavor to always have a happy pleasant family. . . . like on tv.
 

Osiris

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Yes. My mother's oldest sister. Note I do NOT call her aunt. She will never know my children, my wife, or anyone close to me. I have not spoken to her in over 14 years and prefer it that way, especially after she stole my mother's jewelry while she lay in a coma in the same room she looted. My mother a svelt size 9 and this woman cramming her 16 plus butt into my mother's clothes at my mother's wake. Fitting she had to leave early as the seams blew out on her.

She has gone so far as to drive 4 of her 6 children away. She will die a very lonely and hated woman and that is sad.
 

agnslz

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Wow, I couldn't imagine having these sorts of feelings for any of my close family members, most especially my mom! I guess I'm lucky but I love my mom to death and really enjoy spending time with her. My siblings and I fight with each other from time to time, but I couldn't imagine ever not talking to them or seeing them. I must say that things weren't always so great between me and my step-dad. In fact, I hated him for a time when I was younger. Our relationship has been much better in recent years though.
 

jason_els

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The Brown Lady!! EXCELLENT avatar!!!

Wow, I couldn't imagine having these sorts of feelings for any of my close family members, most especially my mom! I guess I'm lucky but I love my mom to death and really enjoy spending time with her. My siblings and I fight with each other from time to time, but I couldn't imagine ever not talking to them or seeing them. I must say that things weren't always so great between me and my step-dad. In fact, I hated him for a time when I was younger. Our relationship has been much better in recent years though.
 

Not_Punny

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Wow. Sorry to hear it, guys. I would hide under a blanket if a family member felt like this about me.

I'm lucky in that I don't have a bad relationship with any family members, and I hope to be an adored grandmama one of these days. I butted heads sometimes with my mama, but we got along famously otherwise.
 

dcwrestlefan

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Yah, my sister.

we have something in common.

my oldest sister is a cunt. i won't go into details, but basically, she is sucking my mother dry for money. due to circumstances, and my mother being secretive about it, we can't stop it.

when you talk to her - it's "me me me". or she will yammer on about things one after the other that make you want to say "stfu". she is highly intelligent but manipulative.

a very bad thing to say about a sibling, but i am not sure i will cry at her funeral.
 

Gillette

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Wow am I glad to read I'm not the only one with MOTHER!!!! issues.

I can actually feel my shoulders tighten at the thought of her.

One of my most satisfying teenaged experiences was being taken to the family doctor for a referral to a therapist because I was "acting out". Spent fifteen minutes talking with the doctor who then asked to speak with my mother alone. Five minutes later my mother came out with a prescription to help her deal with her menopause.

No referral for me. No apology either.
 

jason_els

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One of my most satisfying teenaged experiences was being taken to the family doctor for a referral to a therapist because I was "acting out". Spent fifteen minutes talking with the doctor who then asked to speak with my mother alone. Five minutes later my mother came out with a prescription to help her deal with her menopause.

No referral for me. No apology either.

My mother was horrible to me during her menopause and her behavior contributed to my depression that I made my first suicide attempt then. Her harping about what was wrong with me, what I wasn't doing, what I was doing, was a constant stream of criticism. Literally constant. Every conversation, every interaction was a litany of things she wanted me to think and do. One time it was so extreme she backed me against the counter hurling disappointment after disappointment at me. I became so upset I threw my glass across the room and burst into tears. All I could repeat was, "Why do you hate me? Why do you hate me?" She then became even more angry claiming she didn't hate me at all. I was her punching bag for every issue she had. After I got back from the psych hospital I was told I wasn't welcome back home so I went to a half way house in Boston. When I finally left there I moved in with my father and there I've stayed. Upon my return she treated me like nothing had happened. No apologies, no introspection, nothing. As with everything else, I had brought all my problems on myself and anytime something bad happened to me, it was my fault. Our relationship now is reduced to superficial WASPy politeness. Any sort of serious discussion we stop before it's reduced to argument. It's sad. I loved my mother when I was a kid but as she got older she became more and more distant, more critical, more close-minded, and even more controlling.

It's why I haven't come out to my parents yet. Unlike my siblings, I know it'll be used against me at some point and really, why should I hand my parents another weapon to use against me?
 

joyboytoy79

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My oldest sister irks me to no end.

If i have to hear, one more time, how she "goed out to bought melk" i'll scream. She also talks to me like i'm two. And expects me to sympathize with every tiny thing she thinks is wrong in her life.

Plus, she's one of those people who says "That boy drowneded in the lake." What's worse, is the "lake" she's speaking of is the Mississippi River. She thinks Lake Michigan, despite its name, is an Ocean. UGH. I'll stop now.
 

SpeedoGuy

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I was her punching bag for every issue she had.

After my father died when I was about age 12 my mother became an emotional basket case from her grief. I had to assume the responsibility to raise myself ever afterward. And all the while, I became her punching bag, physically and emotionally. I had plates, brooms, shoes, tools and food hurled at me as well as emotional abuse.

Why the abuse on me? Because my drughead younger brother wouldn't have tolerated such treatment from her. He would have beaten her up in response. Not my younger sister, she was a princess and could do no wrong.

So her stress and grief always got taken out on me. The good guy. The oldest one. The responsible one who had no choice but to take it year after year.

Yah, I can relate.
 

D_Martin van Burden

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Do roommates who don't take care of their husky puppies properly count?

(It's funny how a dog who cries constantly because his owner keeps him locked up in the cage all day can somehow be okay if you just let it roam around the house.)