(warning, I am a crying weepy mess as I am writing this)
I will need to explain to my son about death, likely in the next 2 days, as two of my grandparents are not well. Grandma is in ICU her best O2 saturation is in the low 70's on 100% O2 via bi-pap (not good at all). Her condition has not got any better so the family has decided on comfort measures only, it's just a matter of time. My mom went again today to spend time with her and grandpa.
This is my grandma we lived with and that I looked after for nearly a year. I wasn't able to travel last week or able to say my goodbyes. I know I don't deal with death well and have already called my doc and asked for an anti-depressant. I need to be able to be here for my mom. She is losing two parents not just one. I'm unsure how my son is going to act to the news. Likely, since everyone will tell me not to take him out of school, we won't get to go to any services either. I am okay with that since I would just be a mess anyhow.
Selfishly, I am hoping both pass the same day so they don't have to grieve for their spouse. Both have been through enough the past few months and several scares. Even though grandma is having trouble breathing, she is anxious and wants to talk non-stop. Grandpa has been in uncontrollable pain for several months and physically declined.
I am trying to mask my own sadness by remembering some of the dirty jokes I would bring up every morning to read to grandma at breakfast. It is rather funny to watch an 80 some year old woman laughing at a good not so clean joke, then ask when I was bringing the next one up that day. Then the look on my (very religious) aunts face as grandma told her the joke. LOL!
One thing I hope my son will realize (one day) is the fact that he got to spend almost a whole year with his great grandma and see her almost daily. Most people aren't that lucky. I am greatful for the time I was able to spend with them and hope that she was happy the time we were able to spend the time together.
I'm glad my grandparents were around long enough in my life that my son and I will have great memories to look back on. I know many people aren't as fortunate or do not have as good of relationship as our family shared.
But, in all honesty right now that is not bringing me a lot of comfort. Part of me sinks each time, I think about how hard it is for grandma to breathe having phneumonia and hoping they are keeping her somewhat comfortable until her already weak heart finally gives despite her spunkiness and her will to try to keep everyone else laughing.
Sorry for going on, I guess my question kind of got lost in my words and this kind of turned into a vent/reflection type post. Should I just matter of factly say to my son that great grandma is dying or wait until it happens then mention it? He knows she has been sick on and off for a long time. We spent many of times in the ICU with her. He in fact was one of the only children they let in the ICU. He understands most things at least from the medical stand point (he's 6), I'm just not sure where to go with it from there.
I will need to explain to my son about death, likely in the next 2 days, as two of my grandparents are not well. Grandma is in ICU her best O2 saturation is in the low 70's on 100% O2 via bi-pap (not good at all). Her condition has not got any better so the family has decided on comfort measures only, it's just a matter of time. My mom went again today to spend time with her and grandpa.
This is my grandma we lived with and that I looked after for nearly a year. I wasn't able to travel last week or able to say my goodbyes. I know I don't deal with death well and have already called my doc and asked for an anti-depressant. I need to be able to be here for my mom. She is losing two parents not just one. I'm unsure how my son is going to act to the news. Likely, since everyone will tell me not to take him out of school, we won't get to go to any services either. I am okay with that since I would just be a mess anyhow.
Selfishly, I am hoping both pass the same day so they don't have to grieve for their spouse. Both have been through enough the past few months and several scares. Even though grandma is having trouble breathing, she is anxious and wants to talk non-stop. Grandpa has been in uncontrollable pain for several months and physically declined.
I am trying to mask my own sadness by remembering some of the dirty jokes I would bring up every morning to read to grandma at breakfast. It is rather funny to watch an 80 some year old woman laughing at a good not so clean joke, then ask when I was bringing the next one up that day. Then the look on my (very religious) aunts face as grandma told her the joke. LOL!
One thing I hope my son will realize (one day) is the fact that he got to spend almost a whole year with his great grandma and see her almost daily. Most people aren't that lucky. I am greatful for the time I was able to spend with them and hope that she was happy the time we were able to spend the time together.
I'm glad my grandparents were around long enough in my life that my son and I will have great memories to look back on. I know many people aren't as fortunate or do not have as good of relationship as our family shared.
But, in all honesty right now that is not bringing me a lot of comfort. Part of me sinks each time, I think about how hard it is for grandma to breathe having phneumonia and hoping they are keeping her somewhat comfortable until her already weak heart finally gives despite her spunkiness and her will to try to keep everyone else laughing.
Sorry for going on, I guess my question kind of got lost in my words and this kind of turned into a vent/reflection type post. Should I just matter of factly say to my son that great grandma is dying or wait until it happens then mention it? He knows she has been sick on and off for a long time. We spent many of times in the ICU with her. He in fact was one of the only children they let in the ICU. He understands most things at least from the medical stand point (he's 6), I'm just not sure where to go with it from there.