legal advice for visitation? I am finally able to start my divorce, the divorce itself will be uncontested and we have been separated for 2.6 years. Originally, for custody he had wanted every other Christmas day and 2 months in the summer....I said no way. But now, I live within driving distance (my driving as he has no vehicle).
So in this time, said young child has had adjustment issues, an ill mom who stays on top of everything to make sure he has a good support system should I not have a few days I am doing bad or in the hospital. He is in a community he knows and has known his whole life and sees other blood relatives 2-5 times a week or goes to play near where we were living as he still has good friends there.
He is all mixed up inside with resentment, anger, and at times aggression when it comes to his father. I suggested he call to say thank you as it is the proper thing to do for receiving a birthday card and gift card. Well, he got the voice mail, through the phone and cried for 45 minutes. He has done this on the 3 occasions "father" has called him. He has gone as far as telling family members, neighbors, and family friends that his father is dead for the past 2 years.
In 2.6 years, his father has seen him once. I have offered more visitation to "try" to be nice but he always had some schedule excuse...mind you he is unemployed most of the time. He has sent 3 or 4 cards/letter including ones with comments berating me. He has called but never for more than 5 minutes. If his son meant so much to him I think he should have made more of an effort than now stating he wants standard custody with every other weekend and so many months in the summer. I think he is a deadbeat leech who is mooching off of society and using my son as a pawn to hurt me but is really hurting our son which greatly pisses me off.
I want to wait on the visitation portion of the case until my son has been thoroughly evaluated and started treatments with coping and adaptability. I can only imagine the crap that went on at home while I was working. I finally got to the point I put him with a baby sitter the last few months we were under a roof (which I had asked him to leave 6 months earlier.
I am trying to provide a stable environment for him right now and I think if deadbeat is back in the picture everything will just escalate further than it has. I am fearful of what he is going to do or say to that child or what my son may reveal about those sessions during the time with him.
If I have to let him see him. I want the following conditions met. Working a steady job, not through a temp agency, son has his own bedroom, him to provide transportation in a safe and insured vehicle. Plus, he has to let me know about any plans of leaving the state. I really would like the therapist to have a say in what he thinks my child is ready for or what he thinks will happen if a judgment were given. I have gone to a third party source as a way to try to get my son the help he needs plus learn the skills he is still having healthy and productive relationships with others the future. I'm not doing it for leverage up on his father (though I honestly wouldn't) mind a little break The fact remains it's 2.6 years later, he's still unemployed, my state forced child support comes out of his wage garnishment and he has made no effort to see his son or make the time for him, yet he always blames me for it.
Sorry to vent, I'm at my whits end. I am not in the financial position to hire a lawyer much other than go over the forms I have already filled out. I am suppose to keep my stress level down and this is really taking a toll on me physically and mentally. All I want the best for is my child. I fear forcing him at this point would make matters worse.
Anyone have any suggestions of legal sites or insight on the situation. I have a solid support system behind me should I get sick and be in the hospital a few days. I don't have a life threatening disability just a huge annoyance that makes daily living much harder that it should be. Yet, I have always made sure my son had a roof over his head and medical attention when he needed it, or went hungry so he could eat.
Thanks
So in this time, said young child has had adjustment issues, an ill mom who stays on top of everything to make sure he has a good support system should I not have a few days I am doing bad or in the hospital. He is in a community he knows and has known his whole life and sees other blood relatives 2-5 times a week or goes to play near where we were living as he still has good friends there.
He is all mixed up inside with resentment, anger, and at times aggression when it comes to his father. I suggested he call to say thank you as it is the proper thing to do for receiving a birthday card and gift card. Well, he got the voice mail, through the phone and cried for 45 minutes. He has done this on the 3 occasions "father" has called him. He has gone as far as telling family members, neighbors, and family friends that his father is dead for the past 2 years.
In 2.6 years, his father has seen him once. I have offered more visitation to "try" to be nice but he always had some schedule excuse...mind you he is unemployed most of the time. He has sent 3 or 4 cards/letter including ones with comments berating me. He has called but never for more than 5 minutes. If his son meant so much to him I think he should have made more of an effort than now stating he wants standard custody with every other weekend and so many months in the summer. I think he is a deadbeat leech who is mooching off of society and using my son as a pawn to hurt me but is really hurting our son which greatly pisses me off.
I want to wait on the visitation portion of the case until my son has been thoroughly evaluated and started treatments with coping and adaptability. I can only imagine the crap that went on at home while I was working. I finally got to the point I put him with a baby sitter the last few months we were under a roof (which I had asked him to leave 6 months earlier.
I am trying to provide a stable environment for him right now and I think if deadbeat is back in the picture everything will just escalate further than it has. I am fearful of what he is going to do or say to that child or what my son may reveal about those sessions during the time with him.
If I have to let him see him. I want the following conditions met. Working a steady job, not through a temp agency, son has his own bedroom, him to provide transportation in a safe and insured vehicle. Plus, he has to let me know about any plans of leaving the state. I really would like the therapist to have a say in what he thinks my child is ready for or what he thinks will happen if a judgment were given. I have gone to a third party source as a way to try to get my son the help he needs plus learn the skills he is still having healthy and productive relationships with others the future. I'm not doing it for leverage up on his father (though I honestly wouldn't) mind a little break The fact remains it's 2.6 years later, he's still unemployed, my state forced child support comes out of his wage garnishment and he has made no effort to see his son or make the time for him, yet he always blames me for it.
Sorry to vent, I'm at my whits end. I am not in the financial position to hire a lawyer much other than go over the forms I have already filled out. I am suppose to keep my stress level down and this is really taking a toll on me physically and mentally. All I want the best for is my child. I fear forcing him at this point would make matters worse.
Anyone have any suggestions of legal sites or insight on the situation. I have a solid support system behind me should I get sick and be in the hospital a few days. I don't have a life threatening disability just a huge annoyance that makes daily living much harder that it should be. Yet, I have always made sure my son had a roof over his head and medical attention when he needed it, or went hungry so he could eat.
Thanks