Anything missing in your relationships?

[Ramsey]

Hello ladies,
Just curious what most women here feel that they are missing in their relationships with men, what the guy needs to do better or doesn't do at all. Sense of humor? A wildness or sense of adventure (but he doesn't need to be crazy, just spontaneous and willing to try new things)? I know a lot of women who's relationship with their husband or boyfriend just needs...something and I'm trying to figure out what. A lonely woman is a sad thing to see and my heart goes out to them.

 

[GirlNextDoor86]

Wow, it's nice to know that guys really are interested in what girls want and need. Sometimes it doesn't seem that way. Speaking for me personally, I would love a guy that can just listen when I vent and not try to solve my problems. I would also like him to try something new now and then. Just because I liked being held gently last night doesn't mean thats how I want to be held every other night. I know men aren't mind readers so we need to speak up rather than feel neglected at times.

 

[B_DEATHbyCARROT]

Wow, it's nice to know that guys really are interested in what girls want and need. Sometimes it doesn't seem that way. Speaking for me personally, I would love a guy that can just listen when I vent and not try to solve my problems. I would also like him to try something new now and then. Just because I liked being held gently last night doesn't mean thats how I want to be held every other night. I know men aren't mind readers so we need to speak up rather than feel neglected at times.

Hey that's pretty insightful. Sounds corny but "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" taught me that fact that women sometimes complain just to vent and aren't looking for help. Ironically guys think they are being supportive/helpful/heroic by trying to solve the problem for you. It's one of those things I've had to accept about women even though I don't get it. I don't bring problems up unless I want help (I also don't want help with a problem unless I ask for it, but that's another subject:biggrin1...

Also I do find that women feel like you don't care if you can't (or don't want to) figure out the way they feel. Again it's just another thing I don't get but try to accept.

I think in relationships typically women want things to grow and change for the better while guys just want things to stay close to the way they were in the beginning... Just my theory.

 

[D_Ivana Dickenside]

i'm not missing anything because i'm not in a relationship and i'm perfectly happy that way!

 

[Phil Ayesho]

Ironically guys think they are being supportive/helpful/heroic by trying to solve the problem for you. It's one of those things I've had to accept about women even though I don't get it.

Um... its NOT ironic... women kvetch about a 100 things a week. They fully expect you to try and solve 88 of those things.
They do not "label" the ones they do not want you to solve.

Do not fall into the trap of allowing women and the male therapists who pander to women to "re-define" your supportive actions as "not being supportive. "


When women are young they play with dolls and the thing about a doll is that it always "says" and "does" exactly what the girl playing with them expects them to say and do.

Then these girls become women who expect the same from the real people in their lives.


Girls...If you do this... knock it off.
Do not go to the man in your life to "vent"... that's what your girlfriends are for.

Go to the man in your life only with those issues you want solved.
THAT is how men address the world... that IS your man being supportive.

"venting"... to a man... is indistinguishable from bitching, from whining, from complaining about something you have no intention of dealing with.

Its unattractive...

And soft, cuddly, needy men who love to just soak up the stuff you vent?
Face it...you don't find those men attractive, either.


We do not need to BE LIKE EACH OTHER to love and value each other.

Appreciate the manner in which your man supports you... He will fight a dragon for you... will run into a burning building for you...
Will kill the spider for you and empty the mousetrap for you..

Don't try and make him into your girlfriend.

 

[B_DEATHbyCARROT]

Um... its NOT ironic... women kvetch about a 100 things a week. They fully expect you to try and solve 88 of those things.
They do not "label" the ones they do not want you to solve.

Do not fall into the trap of allowing women and the male therapists who pander to women to "re-define" your supportive actions as "not being supportive. "


When women are young they play with dolls and the thing about a doll is that it always "says" and "does" exactly what the girl playing with them expects them to say and do.

Then these girls become women who expect the same from the real people in their lives.


Girls...If you do this... knock it off.
Do not go to the man in your life to "vent"... that's what your girlfriends are for.

Go to the man in your life only with those issues you want solved.
THAT is how men address the world... that IS your man being supportive.

"venting"... to a man... is indistinguishable from bitching, from whining, from complaining about something you have no intention of dealing with.

Its unattractive...

And soft, cuddly, needy men who love to just soak up the stuff you vent?
Face it...you don't find those men attractive, either.


We do not need to BE LIKE EACH OTHER to love and value each other.

Appreciate the manner in which your man supports you... He will fight a dragon for you... will run into a burning building for you...
Will kill the spider for you and empty the mousetrap for you..

Don't try and make him into your girlfriend.

I have had a gf who tried to make me into her gf and it wasnt pleasant. I don't want to go shopping with you or wait while you get your hair done.

But that is not what I'm talking about.

I think for a relationship to work BOTH sides have to recognize that we are different, and if she wants to tell me about something that bothers her, but does not want me to solve the issue for her thats fine. In fact the whole issue is cleared up by me being aware of this aspect of femininity and just asking her "Do you want my advice or are you just venting?". Works like a charm.

If you think the woman is bitching constantly you either have a woman who is going through a rough patch in life or is simply a bitch...

 

[Tattooed Goddess]

I wish he gave me oral sex a bit more often....that's about my only complaint.

 

[B_DEATHbyCARROT]

I wish he gave me oral sex a bit more often....that's about my only complaint.

I'm sure I'll be the 1st of many to offer my services...

 

[StraightCock4Her]

I wish he gave me oral sex a bit more often....that's about my only complaint.

I have finally seen what some men complain about with that, I used to love doing that for my ladies but.. I've now had the unpleasant experiences that some have and frankly, I don't blame those who don't want to do it.

It can get a little too.. erm.. rrrrank down there at times.

Me, being me, I find ways to do it while avoiding that effect. Put your mind to it for a second, you'll think of something.

 

[Tattooed Goddess]

I have finally seen what some men complain about with that, I used to love doing that for my ladies but.. I've now had the unpleasant experiences that some have and frankly, I don't blame those who don't want to do it.

It can get a little too.. erm.. rrrrank down there at times.

Me, being me, I find ways to do it while avoiding that effect. Put your mind to it for a second, you'll think of something.

But i never let him get near me without having first thoroughly washed up in all areas down there with antibacterial soap. I have a problem from washing a little too thoroughly- my Gynecologist is like "Do you have to be so crazy about your cleaning routine?"

So i know thats not it.

 

[Ramsey]

I've heard about the listening aspect before, and I don't necessarily think that a man that listens automatically becomes some emasculated girlfriend or something. Couples should be able to go to each other and be open and just verbally spew (though too much one-sided is not good) but women should be understanding of guys wanting to fix the problems occasionally, or at least not get mad when we do. It's part of our nature, and goes along with the protection aspect we are hard-wired with.

I certainly wouldn't mind my girlfriend requesting a little more oral satisfaction. I'd be happy to oblige, but would hope that she's willing to reciprocate sometimes too

 

[Tattooed Goddess]

He definitely gets a lot of oral, but i think i give him more the less oral i get. Vice versa.

 

[Ethyl]

The only thing missing in my relationship is a permanent visa.

 

[Marlboro woman]

I would like our relationship to become more permanent and maybe even settle down and have kids but my hectic business schedule makes it really difficult to spend more than a few hours a week together, even if we lived together I would still hardly see him.

 

[The Dragon]

I'm not in a relationship at the moment but there does seem to be two things that I crave and require more than anything else in a relationship and these can be summed up thus -


Roots and Wings.

Roots -I like stability and a calm household. a Steady and emotionally mature man. A rock and a safe place to cling to when I am weary. A man who will encourage me to be the very best I can be without making me feel guilty.

Wings - I need my freedom. Freedom to be myself. Not to have limits placed upon me, to have to account for every second. Not to be controlled, told what to do or how to do it.

 

[Catchoftheday]

The thing missing in my relationship is another person, it gets a bit lonely having a relationship by yourself :frown1:

I know I'm not a lady, I've decided to become a feminist and protest about people being excluded from stuff inapprpriately on the grounds of gender

 

[Hugh G. Rection]

The only thing missing in most relationships is the realization that life is too short to argue over small issues.

 

[D_Ivana Dickenside]

The thing missing in my relationship is another person, it gets a bit lonely having a relationship by yourself :frown1:

I know I'm not a lady, I've decided to become a feminist and protest about people being excluded from stuff inapprpriately on the grounds of gender

but think about all the fun stuff you still get to do by yourself... like going out all night, getting pissed drunk, and coming home 3 days later without having to give an explanation to your significant other :biggrin1:

 

[Tattooed Goddess]

but think about all the fun stuff you still get to do by yourself... like going out all night, getting pissed drunk, and coming home 3 days later without having to give an explanation to your significant other :biggrin1:

Some folks are like me and COTD, we enjoy a drink over a dinner with good conversation. Retire home earlier than everyone else so we can catch some nerdy science show on Discovery Channel....

Love the idea of someone looking forward to us coming home. Look forward to someone coming home to us. And most of all: Hate trying to be groceries for 1.

I was definitely built for companionship/significant othership (obviously since i got married about 8 months after my 18th birthday. I aspired to settle down.

 

[mista geechee]

but think about all the fun stuff you still get to do by yourself... like going out all night, getting pissed drunk, and coming home 3 days later without having to give an explanation to your significant other :biggrin1:

ah the good ol days.

o and madamoiselle rouge , national geographic , discovery channel , TLC , history channel and animal planet replay all teh shows from teh prior night during 12 am to about 5 am. but to be a legit closet-nerd , you gotta have teh national geographic subsctiptions.