Are All Bisexual Men Closeted?

Tommy Gunz

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I’ve hooked up with about 10 really hot, bisexual guys in my life and they’ve all been closeted and generally only date, have kids with and live with women

also I’ve noticed bi guys are more masculine and alpha than even 100 percent straight guys, perhaps that link with extra testosterone making men more horny and more likely to be bisexual?

That also explains why straight people think bi guys are rare, we’re everywhere we’re just not open about it because of the stigma against it
 

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I’ve hooked up with about 10 really hot, bisexual guys in my life and they’ve all been closeted and generally only date, have kids with and live with women

also I’ve noticed bi guys are more masculine and alpha than even 100 percent straight guys, perhaps that link with extra testosterone making men more horny and more likely to be bisexual?

That also explains why straight people think bi guys are rare, we’re everywhere we’re just not open about it because of the stigma against it
Its complete double standards which is why some bi guys are closeted.

A girl can say she is bi or was bi and most guys and girls wouldnt judge.

A guy says he is bi or was bi and most guys and girls would judge.
 

steel33

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This:

Its complete double standards which is why some bi guys are closeted.

A girl can say she is bi or was bi and most guys and girls wouldnt judge.

A guy says he is bi or was bi and most guys and girls would judge.
 

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Whilst there are undoubtedly plenty of outwardly monogamous people who "play" outside their primary heterosexual relationship, those who opt for same sex contact form only a tiny subset of bi folks at large. One of the big issues which we bi/pan/fluid people face is that of bi invisibility. How, in everyday life, do you present a bisexual identity? If three people, two guys and a woman, are walking down the street hand in hand, how is this seen by people at large? Two gay guys with a straight female friend? or a straight couple with their gay friend? Chances are that virtually no one will think of the "B" word. Two women and one guy in the same situation gives even less clues since it's not that uncommon to see women holding hands amongst a group of friends just in a casual way. The fact that any or all of the people in these scenarios might well be bi still isn't seen as an obvious possibility, even in 2021!

In practice, who you actually get to hook up with depends entirely on the social spaces which you frequent, or ads which you place / respond to. If you reply to ads from guys seeking discreet meetings, chances are they'll be somewhat closeted for whatever reason. If you hang out in alternative spaces where sexuality is no big deal, you'll find plenty of bi people. We don't all use the term "Bisexual" nor do we cling to some arbitrary place on the outdated Kinsey scale between gay & straight. But we all have some degree of attraction for both or all genders. Most of my bi friends these days tend to refer to themselves as fluid, pan- or even poly-sexual and there isn't one fixed identity to flaunt. So I guess we are mostly hidden...
 

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I only have online experience (with one fleeting exception). But I can say there are a TON of married guys online wanking with other guys. Are they bi? Don't know or care. Sexuality if fluid for many of us. If I were openly bi, I don't even know how I'd present to others. Perhaps find a fwb or a hookup and call it a day. I know lots of married guys take off for a day or even weekend for golf or some other "wholesome" activity. Who knows what happens...
 

Tommy Gunz

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I only have online experience (with one fleeting exception). But I can say there are a TON of married guys online wanking with other guys. Are they bi? Don't know or care. Sexuality if fluid for many of us. If I were openly bi, I don't even know how I'd present to others. Perhaps find a fwb or a hookup and call it a day. I know lots of married guys take off for a day or even weekend for golf or some other "wholesome" activity. Who knows what happens...
Yeah but it irritates me that young women will kiss a girl and say I’m bisexual just because it’s trendy and cool for women to be, but it makes light of the crap that REAL bisexuals, men particularly, have to face

Im sick of the double standard
 

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Yeah but it irritates me that young women will kiss a girl and say I’m bisexual just because it’s trendy and cool for women to be, but it makes light of the crap that REAL bisexuals, men particularly, have to face

Im sick of the double standard

I agree with the double standard. It's there in masturbation as well. We (men) all assume women have a dildo at their disposal as part of a healthy sexual tool. But many woman get creeped out if they find their man has a dildo for anal masturbation. My wife had a cow when she found mine in the shower the first time. But I talked her off the ledge and we progressed. But she was shocked. She had no idea this existed for men that weren't gay. I also know in many ways we men created this. We've always projected that lesbian sex is hot. Never met a straight man that didn't like a lesbian scene in porn. Yet many draw the line with man on man. We use putting things in a straight man's ass in a derogatory way. And finally... I'm certain in the open gay community bisexuals can be viewed as "difficult" relationships.

My wife was not a fan of man on man sex scenes (at least in the open to me) in porn. But she changed a bit after we got into pegging. Then she could view it as almost educational material. But since I'm a "closeted" bi person, the topic never comes up in my social circles.
 

Tommy Gunz

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I agree with the double standard. It's there in masturbation as well. We (men) all assume women have a dildo at their disposal as part of a healthy sexual tool. But many woman get creeped out if they find their man has a dildo for anal masturbation. My wife had a cow when she found mine in the shower the first time. But I talked her off the ledge and we progressed. But she was shocked. She had no idea this existed for men that weren't gay. I also know in many ways we men created this. We've always projected that lesbian sex is hot. Never met a straight man that didn't like a lesbian scene in porn. Yet many draw the line with man on man. We use putting things in a straight man's ass in a derogatory way. And finally... I'm certain in the open gay community bisexuals can be viewed as "difficult" relationships.

My wife was not a fan of man on man sex scenes (at least in the open to me) in porn. But she changed a bit after we got into pegging. Then she could view it as almost educational material. But since I'm a "closeted" bi person, the topic never comes up in my social circles.
I agree with you and as bisexual guys of course we find lesbian porn scenes hot as well

Bisexual guys have to tow the line, we’re like a straight guy but we like dick too and most of us definitely don’t fit in with gay male culture, which is very effeminate and off putting
 

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I’ve hooked up with about 10 really hot, bisexual guys in my life and they’ve all been closeted and generally only date, have kids with and live with women

also I’ve noticed bi guys are more masculine and alpha than even 100 percent straight guys, perhaps that link with extra testosterone making men more horny and more likely to be bisexual?

That also explains why straight people think bi guys are rare, we’re everywhere we’re just not open about it because of the stigma against it
Are you sure they only had kids with women ?
 

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I agree with you and as bisexual guys of course we find lesbian porn scenes hot as well

Bisexual guys have to tow the line, we’re like a straight guy but we like dick too and most of us definitely don’t fit in with gay male culture, which is very effeminate and off putting

I think bisexual men cover a much wider spectrum. I find effeminate men hot at times. A smooth shaved guy wearing sexy panties is fucking hot to me. Maybe more so than the classic alpha male physic and mannerisms. And yet I would consider myself a bottom if the opportunity arose. We're a tough lot to categorize.
 

bi2

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I agree with the double standard. It's there in masturbation as well.

My wife was not a fan of man on man sex scenes (at least in the open to me) in porn. But she changed a bit after we got into pegging. Then she could view it as almost educational material. But since I'm a "closeted" bi person, the topic never comes up in my social circles.

I agree with you and as bisexual guys of course we find lesbian porn scenes hot as well

Bisexual guys have to tow the line, we’re like a straight guy but we like dick too and most of us definitely don’t fit in with gay male culture, which is very effeminate and off putting

The double standard is very clear.

Almost all straight guys and biguys love lesbian porn.

Then flip that around for MM sex and its a small minority.

Even myself I would rather watch lesbian porn or Tgirl porn well over MM porn.
 

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I don't know about all bisexual men but I am closeted. Mostly.

It's due to the propensity of human brains to think in black and white. You're either THIS or you're THAT. :laughing: (Let's be clear about the brain science: it's the left hemisphere that thinks that way not the right hemisphere.)

lol... when I marched in my first Pride parade so long ago people applauded me, shook my hand, slapped my back and said good for you! They thought I was coming out. Little did they know I find women 10x more attractive than men. Nor am I attracted to all women or all men. I'm as picky as anyone.

Marching was my statement of political support not one announcing sexual identity. Not all was lost: it resulted in a few hookups. :cool:

Are you gay? Being bi allows me to answer honestly. No.

Almost no one asks if I'm bi or straight. Almost everyone thinks I'm straight--again based on stereotypes. How I dress. Lack of gay affectation. Athleticism.

As it is we have overwhelming data from 30+ years of lab studies which proves that 90% plus of the adult population has some sexual physiological response to both sexes based on visual stimulation alone. So when someone says they're all straight or all gay there's one chance in ten they are.

Like any other biometric it's not a choice. ;)

We can't just say we're sexual. The left hemisphere automatically asks what kind of sexual?

Left hemisphere catalogs, categorizes and sets up barriers between them. Right hemisphere doesn't--it sees the whole picture. :heart:
 

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Probably. I've encountered so many "straight" guys who were down with hooking up but would never announce that they are "bisexual" because of the social stigma.
I remember one buddy I had in grad school (Real pretty-boy playboy from Israel) who was being pursued by all the ladies. However, as I'd get him back to my apartment he was in his boxer briefs before I could mix the cocktails!
I'm at a point in life where I just relax and get off. I let other people grapple with their sexual silos and labels.
 

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Its complete double standards which is why some bi guys are closeted.

A girl can say she is bi or was bi and most guys and girls wouldnt judge.

A guy says he is bi or was bi and most guys and girls would judge.

You should talk to the 60% or so of Bisexual women who have been sexually assaulted in their lifetime (more than any other orientation and gender, I might add) under the presumption that Bi women are always sexually available or "freaky", etc, and are only "accepted" because of how they're depicted in porn.

I get that you're frustrated, but your misogyny is grossly ill-informed.
 
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bi2

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You should talk to the 60% or so of Bisexual women who have been sexually assaulted in their lifetime (more than any other orientation and gender, I might add) under the presumption that Bi women are always sexually available or "freaky", etc, and are only "accepted" because of how they're depicted in porn.

I get that you're frustrated, but your misogyny is grossly ill-informed.

Sorry this is just a really dumb stupid post.

I made a statement of how society in general views bi mean and bi women. Which most in this thread agreed with.

I am not frustrated nor am I mysogynist. Nor did imply that in my post. Everyone, women and men need to always be respected. I have never made a negative comment about a woman on this forum. In fact of the contrary, I celebrate them.

You obviously have some hang ups or mental health issues at play here.
 

JBrown61

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Sorry this is just a really dumb stupid post.

I made a statement of how society in general views bi mean and bi women. Which most in this thread agreed with.

I am not frustrated nor am I mysogynist. Nor did imply that in my post. Everyone, women and men need to always be respected. I have never made a negative comment about a woman on this forum. In fact of the contrary, I celebrate them.

You obviously have some hang ups or mental health issues at play here.

Sorry this is just a really dumb stupid post.

I made a statement of how society- especially intimate partners- in general view bi men and bi women. Which most research on the matter agrees with (as well as here Attitudes toward Bisexual Men and Women among a Nationally Representative Probability Sample of Adults in the United States), regardless of whatever the popular conception is.

bisexual attitudes.PNG



Just because attitudes towards bisexual women are accepted in some ways and by a few percentage points does not mean that on the whole bisexual women are accepted, and that people "don't judge". Implying something about women that's quantifiably false sure seems to be misogynist to me. If bisexual women were really accepted as much as you think they, do you really think that would be a causal factor in their victimization?

You obviously have some hang ups or mental health issues at play here. Especially when you're getting defensive and accusing somebody else of being mentally ill when they're trying to call you in over a misinformed comment, rather than take the L and consider that you might be wrong about something.
 
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JBrown61

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Anyway, back to the thread.

Women are indeed more likely to identify as bisexual than men, though it varies based on a lot of factors which group is more likely to be out of the closet. I don't think it's a matter of persecution or acceptance, necessarily, as seen above, but I do think men have more internalized homophobia than bisexual women have internalized lesbophobia, even if the attitudes from other people are largely the same.

A lot of guys seem to dodge their bisexuality or never fully consider it. I haven't run a poll of if guys who call themselves "str8" identify themselves as "bisexual", but a lot of guys do seem to use terms that dodge the fact that they're somewhere on the spectrum of bisexuality, and like to identify as "mostly straight" than place themselves under the umbrella of bisexuality.