Are all deep male friendships homoerotic?

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by B_theaussieone, Dec 8, 2011.

  1. B_theaussieone

    B_theaussieone New Member

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    I found the guys who i am the closest with, we tend too have a somewhat very homoerotic relationship. we freely talk about sex in great detail, watch porn together, talk about our penis and penis size. i have other male friends and we never talk about certain topics and i dont feel as close to these friends as the other friends i mentioned earlier.

    anyone else experience the same thing?
     
  2. aninnymouse

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    Not necessarily homoerotic. I'd describe that as more homosocial. You're talking about sex together, watching porn together, etc. Not really erotic, as you're not doing things with each other, IMO.
     
  3. Kores

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    No, they are not.
     
  4. laser90

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    aninnymouse, I like that homosocial! Guys like bragging about sex and cocks....it does not make them interested in doing more. Enjoy the close friendship!
     
  5. D_CountVonBhigBohner

    D_CountVonBhigBohner Account Disabled

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    I have had a few close friends get very comfotable about talking to me about anything and EVERYTHING. They know I am bisexual...not sure if that's the reason why or it's that I'm such a nice guy ;). I have never crossed the line with them because I value the relationship. I would say it's more of a brother to brother trust between us. The most important part of this is keeping the conversations private and not betraying trust.
     
  6. Remington

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  7. B_Sweetcar

    B_Sweetcar New Member

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    I've been wanting to discuss what I did and my friend's reaction to it. I have a close friend that I've known for years and he's been spending weekends at my house for the last year. Anyway, I've always encouraged him to feel at home and do what ever he wants when he's here. Stuff like feel free to eat anything in the fridge, wear anything your comfortable in around the house, don't be afraid to fart in front of me and all that.

    Pretty much he is comfortable here and spends a lot of time with me alone most weekends. He usually sleeps on a mat on the floor in my room even though he could choose to sleep in another room. He pretty much goes to bed fully clothed and wraps himself into a 'cocoon' with the sheets and blankets. I usually sleep naked but have been wearing some gym shorts to bed when he's here.

    Well, last weekend I thought to myself; ""What the heck, we've known each other for years and I may as well make myself comfortable." So when we went up to my room for bed I just stripped down to the boxer shorts I was wearing. Now, my boxers are pretty loose and have a big open fly gap in the front. We sat around talking and listening to music for a while until I turned the lights off. It was pretty easy to see my dick and stuff through the boxer gap but I didn't care.
    After we went to bed I forgot he was there a few times. I know I was laying there with my boxers pulled most of the way down. I also know that my dick got hard and found it's way out the fly gap a few times.

    I don't know if he was asleep through all that or if he ever saw anything. He never said anything and next morning we carried on as usual. I was a bit worried I pushed his 'comfort zone' too far, but the other day he made the comment in passing; "I love you like you love me...."
     
  8. ThePipe

    ThePipe Member

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    It sounds like there's a little sexual chemistry going on there. The fact that you have very detailed sexual cOnversations highlights that fact. And it's totally ok but that's what it is. Some people have close bonds for many reasons....sexuality can be wry private a personal for some, but you can still be close for other reasons... You guys just relate on a sexual legal. Not saying this is what's going on with you, but that's how a lot
    Of guys that are gay kind of find themselves, with someone comfortable..:. Pretty soon you're jerking off together or blowing each other, but again, not saying that's where you guys are headed, just a side note that is relative.
     
  9. B_Sweetcar

    B_Sweetcar New Member

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    Thanks for the reply Pipe, YES, I do think there is some sexual chemisty involved and I could give you a number of reasons why I suspect it,

    The thing is, I'm NOT particularly attractive and I know he has his PICK of girls to mess with. I don't want to bring up something that would make him uncomfortable. We are VERY close and he spends SO much of his quality time alone with me that I can hardly ask for anything more.

    Any suggestions??
     
  10. D_Bob_Crotchitch

    D_Bob_Crotchitch New Member

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    Most are not.
     
  11. DevonTexas

    DevonTexas Well-Known Member

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    I think one day, we'll learn just how brain-chemically close bonding, friendships, trust, pleasure etc is closely tied together and it will freak out the Baptists totally.
     
  12. ThePipe

    ThePipe Member

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    Well, just value the friendship and don't force anything and don't crush on him or fantasize/idealize things...let it all unfold naturally. Don't worry about your attractiveness level, he obviously doesn't care about your looks in that way....if he is curious hell do something about it because he's very comfortable with you and values you fOr more than just your looks. Your connection is more than looks. Just be careful with your feelings, don't allow yourself to create anything in your head....appreciate it for what it is and if something transpires it will happen organically...I'm repeating myself but it's important to reiterate. What you don't want to do is make it awkward. It sounds like you guys talk pretty openly which is great because in any relationship, sexual or otherwise, communication is key.
     
  13. B_Sweetcar

    B_Sweetcar New Member

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    Don't worry Pipe about me making some sort of fantasy with him or getting overly obsessed with my feelings. When I say I've known him a LONG time, I'm talking about almost a 30 year friendship. So if he doesn't realize I'm gay by now.....I'm sure he does but It doesn't matter in our friendship.

    As far as my appearance is concerned, I'm sure that doesn't matter to him on a straight friendship level. Not sure if he finds me attractive sexually, if you know what I mean. Like I said, I value his friendship too much to add an aspect to the relationship he may not be comfortable with.

    We'll see, I know he has experiment quite a bit with other guys in the past and I know he's pretty open minded. I'll give it some time and see if anything develops.
     
  14. ThePipe

    ThePipe Member

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    Ohhhh gotcha... So he's had some man action but you're not sure he's into you that way.
     
  15. musclebare9

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    Nope. I have an incredibly close male friend whose has been there through thick and thin. I have done the same for him. We have never once talked about sex or anything sexual. It's just never came up.
     
  16. nicenycdick

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  17. Guill

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    are close friendships homoerotic...not usually but they could have that appearance for an outside observer. It's only erotic if you are turned on by it...which is why I say an outside observer might find it erotic.
     
  18. B_theaussieone

    B_theaussieone New Member

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    homoeroticism doesnt apply more either.
     
  19. sexplease

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    Im not sure, but I thought this quote/observation might be apropos.


    George Santayana:

    Friends are generally of the same sex, for when men and women agree, it is only in the conclusions; their reasons are always different.

    Persons and Places: The Middle Span, 1945
     
  20. 6inchcock

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    Don't know if I would classify it at as homoerotic. I think it just means you have a different comfort level with some people.

    One of the guys I am closest with have and do discuss at that level, but don't feel homoerotic about it.
     
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