Are Any Of You Romantically Attracted To Both Men And Women

Capitolhillguy

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I've done erotic massage for over 30 years and have seen thousands of bisexual men... more of them than gay men. I talk with almost all of my clients about their sexual experience and out of the thousands I've seen, less than a handful have ever been in love with another man. For practically all, the romantic interest is with women and men are just for fun. Does this hold up for you?
 

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Just like the majority you're talking about...

Only have romantic / companionship feelings towards women. Men, i am only interested in sexual fun / friendship. Absolutely zero romantic feelings towards men, just wanna suck the cocks haha.
 

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I’ve been romantically involved with men and women. It’s always the personality that makes me fall in love, not the gender.
I've met a couple of guys like you...one in a bi threeway relationship. I wish there was a further designation for bisexuals like you who can be not just sexually but emotionally attracted to both sexes. Happy Holidays.
 

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Just like the majority you're talking about...

Only have romantic / companionship feelings towards women. Men, i am only interested in sexual fun / friendship. Absolutely zero romantic feelings towards men, just wanna suck the cocks haha.
One indicator is that when I was young and quite handsome, almost none of my bisexual massage clients would want to kiss, but many gay ones would. As a gay man, if I am attracted to someone I want to kiss them. I've heard so many bi men say they are not attracted to men at all... just dick LOL
 

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I've met a couple of guys like you...one in a bi threeway relationship. I wish there was a further designation for bisexuals like you who can be not just sexually but emotionally attracted to both sexes. Happy Holidays.

Happy Holidays for you as well. I don’t know about further designation and even more labels. I always identified as omnisexual because I can be attracted sexually to whole groups of people or situations. Romantically it has been men or women. I tried a threeway relationship but jealousy reared it’s ugly head. Now entirely committed to just one lovely guy.
 

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It hasn't always held up for me. Though engaged to women twice in my twenties and once in my thirties I've never married. Those experiences taught me that I don't want to be in an exclusive relationship with either a woman or a man. I've had girlfriends and boyfriends--lovers and often regular ones--but never exclusively on my part. I have been "in love" with individuals of both sexes and am currently.

That said most of the men who identified as bi have kissed. Almost all those who identified as gay have. The exceptions seem to be the cocksuckers--straight, gay and bi--who are only interested in performing fellatio. The only kissing they do is around my genitals and maybe thighs and abdomen. :cool:

I take it from your post that "romantic interest" means a relationship based on more than just sex.
 

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For practically all, the romantic interest is with women and men are just for fun. Does this hold up for you?
This is where it sits with me.
I did try once to get romantically involved with a guy, but it just did not fit right with who I am.
I just like and enjoy spending time in bed with a guy and having sex with them
 
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shard38

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This is where it sits with me.
I did try once to get romantically involved with a guy, but it just did not fit right with who I am.
I just like and enjoy spending time in bed with a guy and having sex with them

Maybe you just have not met the right guy? I imagine loads of straight people have tried romantic relationships with the opposite sex and it didn’t work out. Doesn’t mean it will never happen.
 
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All anyone here can offer is anecdotal experience. Capitolhillguy, you wrote that you've "done erotic massage for over 30 years and have seen thousands of bisexual men". I don't have a fraction of your experience. But, as a bi guy, I would be interested in romantic relationships with both sexes, but the hurdle I see is that as a bisexual guy if I date only a man I could be seen as "gay" vs bisexual. I really hate these labels, but I think it's the system we're stuck with right now.
 
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Capitolhillguy

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All anyone here can offer is anecdotal experience. Capitolhillguy, you wrote that you've "done erotic massage for over 30 years and have seen thousands of bisexual men". I don't have a fraction of your experience. But, as a bi guy, I would be interested in romantic relationships with both sexes, but the hurdle I see is that as a bisexual guy if I date only a man I could be seen as "gay" vs bisexual. I really hate these labels, but I think it's the system we're stuck with right now.
I've had specific experience.... bi men who seek out massage. Tons of them. Also, perhaps some of these men were in a relationship with a guy and not comfortable saying so. The guy I was involved with for 6 years was not romantically involved with me BUT we had very romantic sex. He was very straight in his acting and interests and I don't think he would ever tell any of his friends he was having sex with an older man. BUT he was very into it. Most of my clients were seeking out an anonymous encounter so that could skew the results.
 
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I've had specific experience.... bi men who seek out massage. Tons of them. Also, perhaps some of these men were in a relationship with a guy and not comfortable saying so. The guy I was involved with for 6 years was not romantically involved with me BUT we had very romantic sex. He was very straight in his acting and interests and I don't think he would ever tell any of his friends he was having sex with an older man. BUT he was very into it. Most of my clients were seeking out an anonymous encounter so that could skew the results.
I think an issue in itself is “straight” acting. There is no way to act straight or gay. It’s almost like it was invented to make people perceive a label that you don’t want to explicitly mention or something.... that being said I even fall for that saying I act “straight” because I’m not what you think when you think over the top stereotypically gay. I don’t even think stereotypical is a good word for a description because I think the behavior stems from another mechanism.
 
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Capitolhillguy

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I think an issue in itself is “straight” acting. There is no way to act straight or gay. It’s almost like it was invented to make people perceive a label that you don’t want to explicitly mention or something.... that being said I even fall for that saying I act “straight” because I’m not what you think when you think over the top stereotypically gay. I don’t even think stereotypical is a good word for a description because I think the behavior stems from another mechanism.
I have seen many thousands of clients in 35 years and very, very rarely was I wrong in picking out the bi from the gay guy. Typically in young people if they are into rap music, hunting or fishing, and sports cars..... chances are very good they are straight.... or at least they consider themselves primarily straight with bi tendencies. It is not PC to generalize, but as an old man I can say that often generalizations are correct. My boytoy was into all that shit and I have never met a gay man that was into any of that stuff LOL.
 
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I have seen many thousands of clients in 35 years and very, very rarely was I wrong in picking out the bi from the gay guy. Typically in young people if they are into rap music, hunting or fishing, and sports cars..... chances are very good they are straight.... or at least they consider themselves primarily straight with bi tendencies. It is not PC to generalize, but as an old man I can say that often generalizations are correct. My boytoy was into all that shit and I have never met a gay man that was into any of that stuff LOL.
I can’t argue with that. I’ve noticed that. I was commenting more on mannerism.

never tried to guess orientation based on interests.
 
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Capitolhillguy

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I can’t argue with that. I’ve noticed that. I was commenting more on mannerism.

never tried to guess orientation based on interests.
Mannerisms are not a good indicator, especially in younger people. Back in the day in the big cities gays tended to live in ghettos and hang out just with each other and I think mannerisms were more easily picked up. Today with open acceptance of gay people gays often hang out mostly with straight people so mannerisms don't get passed on as easily. Just my opinion. Many gays are without any tell tell mannerisms today.
 
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Mannerisms are not a good indicator, especially in younger people. Back in the day in the big cities gays tended to live in ghettos and hang out just with each other and I think mannerisms were more easily picked up. Today with open acceptance of gay people gays often hang out mostly with straight people so mannerisms don't get passed on as easily. Just my opinion. Many gays are without any tell tell mannerisms today.
That’s a really interesting observation!
 
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