Are certain sexual skeletons a deal breaker?

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by Principessa, Dec 10, 2007.

  1. Principessa

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    Should a woman call it quits after finding out her husband-to-be once had a wild time with a transvestite?


    Q: Recently a long-time mutual friend told me that my boyfriend of four years paid to receive oral sex from a transvestite during a spring-break vacation back in college. I cannot put this new information out of my head. I don't see how I can marry my boyfriend now and bring children into this situation. I confronted him (not about the transvestite, so as not to break my promise of confidence to our friend) and asked if he is gay. He swore he is not. But I am lost and confused. Why would a good-looking, confident, intelligent and successful man who could get any girl choose a transvestite?

    A: Do the words “back in college” and “spring break” not mean anything to you?

    If we judged all potential spouses on what happened on Padre Island, we would conclude that marriages consist of boob-flashing, chugging beer through plastic hoses and waking up next to people we know only as “Michigan State.”

    Why did he receive oral sex from a transvestite? Who knows. There have actually been some studies to show that most men who do are straight, not gay.

    According to Erick Janssen, a researcher with the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University, “it could have been an experiment. What it means in terms of this person’s sexual orientation is not a simple matter.”

    Maybe he got a thrill from breaking a taboo. Maybe he thought he might be gay, did not want to admit it to himself, and figured oral sex from a man dressed as a woman avoided his fears. Or, suggests Janssen, “it could be the other way around, that a person dressed as a woman makes it easier to fantasize that [the transvestite] really is a woman.”

    Or maybe he just swilled too much Jägermeister.

    Many people have all sorts of sex in their pasts. You never fooled around with a guy you wish you hadn’t? Half the women I knew in college — at least the English and art majors — had a lesbian experience. Didn’t necessarily make them lesbian.

    But you are clearly upset by the thought, so maybe you just have to ask your boyfriend directly about the incident, and be willing to hear his explanation/denial/confirmation. Whether his response becomes a deal-breaker is entirely up to you.

    Oh, and this “mutual friend”? He’s a schmuck.

    IMHO this girl is a priss with a major stick up her butt. Her boyfriend got a bj from a tranny on spring break. Apparently she didn't know him back then and it hasn't happend again. They've been dating for 4 years so they both should have been tested for STD's a while ago. So why break off the engagement?

    I know I can sometimes be naive; perhaps I am too cavalier in my assessment of this situation. :redface: :confused:

    Are certain sexual skeletons a deal breaker?
     
  2. snoozan

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    my husband fucked a whore in a graveyard. another one in a church. he used crisco as lube on an ex-gf.

    who gives a fuck? i didn't know him. he's been tested. to me, it's funny.
     
  3. SpoiledPrincess

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    It's the past, unless it's something along of he was a child molestor or murderer I wouldn't hold someone's past against them, it's what he does now he's with me that counts.
     
  4. B_Think_Kink

    B_Think_Kink New Member

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    I fucked a gay guy... that's my skeleton... but you wont get me to feel sorry about it any time soon.
     
  5. Mr. Snakey

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    Balls said the Queen. If i had them i would be king.........
     
  6. BigDuder

    BigDuder New Member

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    you say that now, but what about when he is in hell. what then?
     
  7. earllogjam

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    Are certain skeletons a deal breaker?

    Yeah, the kind you dig up in his basement.
     
  8. Principessa

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    I guess he'll be keeping you company. :tongue:
     
  9. Not_Punny

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    I fuck skeletons all the time. I like boners.
     
  10. Mr. Snakey

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    I spoke of my past in no uncertain terms from the begining. A little bit at a time of what i could remember anyway. Being open and honest about my past was the right thing to do.
     
  11. snoozan

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    He's catholic, they can maim and kill entire families and get absolution from a priest. He'll be okay.

    On the other hand, that sounds like it would be the definition of hell...
     
  12. Gillette

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    Forced sex of any kind would be a deal breaker.

    Bisexuality would be as well. Explanation before I get jumped on.

    If the guy is bisexual wanting a cock is a natural desire for him. I don't have one and I don't share, hence I'd be denying him part of himself. I'm not comfortable with doing that.
     
  13. Mr. Snakey

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    Are we drinking Cleaning products again?
     
  14. Principessa

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    Ohhh that is such a groaner.


     
  15. DC_DEEP

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    She obviously has some serious issues... personal, emotional issues.

    It would be better for him in the long run, if she dumps him now.

    She will most likely be the type that will never let him hear the end of it - on any tiny transgression he commits during a marriage.

    "Oh yeah? Well, 14 years ago, I called you at work and asked you to stop at the store on your way home from work and pick up a loaf of bread, and you forgot it!"
     
  16. joejack

    joejack Active Member

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    Har har har!
     
  17. jeff black

    jeff black <img border="0" src="/images/badges/gold_member.gi

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    Exactly, the man was CLEARLY getting another blowjob from a tranny hooker. Once you've had one, you just can't stop...

    Personally, this woman is overreacting. Should we judge every little sexual thing that has happened in our partner's past? I think not. He had one blowjob, out of hundreds he has probably had. Why is it a big deal because it was a transexual?
     
  18. B_cigarbabe

    B_cigarbabe New Member

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    "and what the king said was law"
    I love that poem!
    Who would be crazy enough to give up the person you love,for something s/he did, before you knew them? that is just absurd!
    I don't think the guy who told her, is her friend either. What is his motive, for telling her this story,is what I'd want to know.
    cigarbabe:saevil:
     
  19. Osiris

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    The past is the past. Why hold it over the person's head.

    She may be trying to find an escape, but doesn't have the stones to call it off herself and is looking for someone else to call it off for her.
     
  20. B_quietguy

    B_quietguy New Member

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    So this woman can't deal with her boyfriend having a more interesting sexual past than her? What else will she hold against him when she finds out? Apparently, he has not lived every moment of his life within her comfort zone, and how he treats her today is not a good enough reason for her to accept him. I'd dump her just because of her attitude.

    Reminds me of this quote: "A friend is somebody who knows all about you and still accepts you." My friends know some things about me I'd rather not mention, but they still accept me and see how I have grown over the years.


    As for me and sexual skeletons ... I prefer to see some flesh on the bone. Bones not cuddly like warm soft flesh.
     
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