Are condoms becoming a turn off?

[eridim]

I can't believe the amount of guys I'm turning down because they don't want to use a condom.

I understand condoms are unconformable as a top and sensation is reduced. But you can get used to everything. Even bottoms are turning against condoms.

What I find most absurd is the sick mentality "I'm on prep so I don't want to use condoms". Prep only prevents HIV, nothing else. And it doesn't have 100% success rate even when taken correctly. But that's not my point of contention. What I can't understand is the mentality that HIV is the scariest one, but everything else is treatable so I don't care if I catch something else. The consequences any other STD can have on your mental and physical health can be devastating. Yet guys are spreading this trend that Prep is enough and they don't want to make the effort to protect their sexual partners "because condoms are uncomfortable". Well get your shit together and put your partner's safety before your own comfort.

This was not the case 5-10 years ago and most guys were ok using condoms. What has changed? I know I'm not being unreasonable because safe sex should be the standard and should be the mentality that younger generations are being brought up with. I'm concerned for myself and for anyone just now discovering their sexuality at the tendency of taking STDs so lightly and being normalized.

I'm not trying to stigmatize anyone living with an STD, but a desease is a desease, and any desease is bad. So you should take all measures at your disposal in this modern world to protect yourself from catching anything.

 

[Cum_is_Great]

As much as I hate it, porn is a massive influence on sex. Find a mainstream porn video that uses a condom within the last 10 years. There used to be a name for having sex without a condom. Now it's the standard. So as a result, the populace emulates porn. "They never worry about condoms. Neither do the onlyfans models who are regular people like me."

And so, condom use is seen as a turn off. Much like it is in porn now apparently. The amount of comments saying it "ruined" the whole scene when someone uses a condom nowadays is sad. But unfortunately it is the norm now. Much of a reason I don't try to hookup. Everyone is rawdogging and taking meds, possibly spreading the other diseases and making those become stronger as a result of an overuse of antibiotics and such.

 

[funboi85]

As said above, porn is to blame I think.

Just not worth the risk to me. I've known someone who has died of AIDS and it was some the most horriffic final days a person could experience. By the end he was blind, deaf, weighed 75lbs, had no bowel control, suffered from seizures and was in near constant pain. And this was WITH modern medicine.

I don't care how small the risk is, any risk is too big.

If I was in a long term relationship then I'd have the discussion but still need to think hard.

 

[lesshake]

Even if a hookup says he's on prep (or undetectable), I'm not going to assume that's true.

People are supposed to stop at crosswalks, but I still look both ways before I cross the street.

 

[KinkyTwinkBoi2]

Honestly yes, I will just say no and move on to finding another guy if they only play safe. I respect their decision and I won't pressure them, but I also have my own preferences and choices.

 

[Andrej_u]

I have to say that it's also very regional, as far as I've seen.
In my experience, in big Centre-North European cities, condoms are definitely seen as a turn off. When I visited NL for example, I had guys texting me with a lot of desire, really craving to meet me... Who then suddenly turned cold and uninterested or non responsive when I mentioned using a condom.
(Mind that it's very clear in my profile that I don't do bareback... And still). It was really hard to find someone who would accept using a condom.

In South Europe I had a much different experience, both in Spain and Italy. Condom is mostly not stigmatised, there are people who only do bareback but I feel like they're a minority. My hookup experiences are much more positive.

Just not worth the risk to me. I've known someone who has died of AIDS and it was some the most horriffic final days a person could experience. By the end he was blind, deaf, weighed 75lbs, had no bowel control, suffered from seizures and was in near constant pain. And this was WITH modern medicine.

I don't care how small the risk is, any risk is too big.

I am really sorry for his suffering and for your loss
But I will go on saying that, if you're on Prep, the highest risk you run in a hookup is to have a car accident on your way to your guy, or that he assaults you. Getting HIV through Prep... There are 10-ish documented cases worldwide, while there are tens of thousands of deaths by car accident per year only in the US.

The consequences any other STD can have on your mental and physical health can be devastating.

They are easily treatable, with possibly the exception of HPV if you're not vaccinated and you're in the unlucky group of people who get an increased risk of cancer and/or has lesions that take months to heal.
But a condom does not protect you from that a lot, and people mostly get it sooner or later.

It is true that an "other" STD for a person with hypochondria can be really heavy on their mental health. Antibiotics can be annoying for someone with irritable bowel syndrome. But for most other people, getting chlamydia or gonorrhea is nothing more than an itchy penis, an injection, maybe some mild antibiotic-related diarrhea and a week without sex.

I wouldn't call any of this "devastating", thankfully.

 

[eridim]

It is true that an "other" STD for a person with hypochondria can be really heavy on their mental health. Antibiotics can be annoying for someone with irritable bowel syndrome. But for most other people, getting chlamydia or gonorrhea is nothing more than an itchy penis, an injection, maybe some mild antibiotic-related diarrhea and a week without sex.

I wouldn't call any of this "devastating", thankfully.

I have to disagree with this. A disease is a disease and you can't know how another person will react to it and the consequences for them. I've unfortunately been a witness to it and it does take a toll on your mental health and leaves consequences.

I'm not saying condoms prevent everything. I'm saying using condoms prevents STDs better than not using them. And if you have a choice between using one and not using one, always use it.

Stay always safe kids, it's an ugly world out there.

 

[p123fit]

I am not advocating either way as it is a personal choice. But FWIW, i'll share my thoughts anyway...

For topping, you lose some sensation with condoms. And pausing sex to deal with a condom can sometimes kill the moment.

For bottoming, condoms don't move like skin does. It can cause discomfort without a lot of lube. Plus there's more pausing sex for more lube.

PrEP made a big difference. Guys can deal with STI's. And now with doxycycline, STI's become less of an issue.

 

[halcyondays]

The opposite is true for me: condoms are a turn on. Using them from the beginning of my sex life equated them with penetration & fucking, ie getting lucky. Even now just the thought of rolling one on gets me hard.

 

[eridim]

The opposite is true for me: condoms are a turn on. Using them from the beginning of my sex life equated them with penetration & fucking, ie getting lucky. Even now just the thought of rolling one on gets me hard.

That's how I feel too. I remember putting on one once to jerk off because it was the prelude to penetration.

 

[thongboy]

As much as I hate it, porn is a massive influence on sex. Find a mainstream porn video that uses a condom within the last 10 years. There used to be a name for having sex without a condom. Now it's the standard. So as a result, the populace emulates porn. "They never worry about condoms. Neither do the onlyfans models who are regular people like me."

And so, condom use is seen as a turn off. Much like it is in porn now apparently. The amount of comments saying it "ruined" the whole scene when someone uses a condom nowadays is sad. But unfortunately it is the norm now. Much of a reason I don't try to hookup. Everyone is rawdogging and taking meds, possibly spreading the other diseases and making those become stronger as a result of an overuse of antibiotics and such.

Brent Everett is a horny exception. Shots of him rolling a condom onto his hard cock before fucking a buddy — he makes these moments incredibly erotic.