Are cuckolded guys a bit weird?

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The humiliation aspect is hard for me to grasp-- and from what I've read there's a fair amount of that going on with this particular fetish/lifestyle/activity. Otherwise, it's not for me, but it doesn't mean that I have a problem with it. One of the aspects of cuckoldry that I have an issue with is that some middle class white couples seek out black men with big cocks in particular to fulfill their fetishes. It seems racist to me, and it perpetuates some sexual mythology that I think is damaging to our culture at large. With that said, all fetishes are about taboo and fantasy, so in that regard, it fits right in. Just because I don't understand it doesn't make it wrong.

There are two factors involved here. Both are sterotypes that are accepted by these couples in order to explore their fantasy. One is that black men are usually much larger than white men. The second is that black men tend to be more dominate than white men. And therefore have a greater sexual prowess.
 

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Honestly I don't get it either. I hear they're big on it in the south which doesn't surprise me in the least.

Of course. The white south has historically feared blacks and expecially black men. This is partially because of this sterotype regarding sexual prowess in black men. This sterotype may have originated in the way that blacks were bred during slavery. Larger and more masculine black males were chosen for breeding more often. I think that some white slave owners might have actually inspected the genitals of blacks males to see if they were more likely to be better studs.
 

Knight Attrition

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Ah, surprise, Knight Attrition. I once brought home a gorgeous girl and surprised my man and her tits WERE bigger than mine....laughing. She wasn't blond, though.

As hot as that is its really not the same thing. Like I said I understand swinging / open relationships. It would be the same thing if he fucked her while you watched while telling you how much better she is in bed. That her pussy is tighter and wetter and that she is thinner with bigger tits, and that no one has ever felt so good as she does. Then have you lick the other woman's lube off his penis.

I can't imagine that ever happening nor can I understand the appeal.
 

snoozan

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It seems racist to me, and it perpetuates some sexual mythology that I think is damaging to our culture at large.

armchair psychology moment: this says something about you.....perhaps you need to take a look within and examine your own conscious...

Explain please, Dr. Arliss, I'm all ears. I'm sure you have a very different perspective on this than I do, and I'd like to hear it. I don't know what your ethnic background is, but if you identify yourself as black, part black, or even just non-caucasian, it would be very interesting to hear what you think about the subject.

I grew up in a family and in an area that was incredibly racist, and have tried my whole life to "deprogram" what I was taught as a child. Maybe that's why I have strong feelings on this particular subject. My feeling is that when you perpetuate a stereotype which has its roots in slavery (which someone else pointed out), you also perpetuate the racism that goes along with those stereotypes. Whether we like it or not, racism is alive and well in the US. If you think that writing about it makes me a racist, so be it. That doesn't mean we can't have a dialogue about it.

My caveat was that this type of play, like other fetishes, is a way to explore things that are taboo. In that way, it could be liberating for the people involved, or just not affect the other portions of their lives. I just don't know. This isn't something I participate in.
 

IntoxicatingToxin

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I think the cuckolding thing is a bit odd as well. If my husband/boyfriend wanted me to have sex with another man for ANY reason, and wanted to watch, I would have a MAJOR issue with it, and would not do it. Hell, even if he DIDN'T want to watch... I still wouldn't do it. If I'm in a relationship with someone, then I obviously care about that person... I couldn't bring myself to have sex with someone else.
 

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Explain please, Dr. Arliss, I'm all ears. I'm sure you have a very different perspective on this than I do, and I'd like to hear it. I don't know what your ethnic background is, but if you identify yourself as black, part black, or even just non-caucasian, it would be very interesting to hear what you think about the subject.

I grew up in a family and in an area that was incredibly racist, and have tried my whole life to "deprogram" what I was taught as a child. Maybe that's why I have strong feelings on this particular subject. My feeling is that when you perpetuate a stereotype which has its roots in slavery (which someone else pointed out), you also perpetuate the racism that goes along with those stereotypes. Whether we like it or not, racism is alive and well in the US. If you think that writing about it makes me a racist, so be it. That doesn't mean we can't have a dialogue about it.

My caveat was that this type of play, like other fetishes, is a way to explore things that are taboo. In that way, it could be liberating for the people involved, or just not affect the other portions of their lives. I just don't know. This isn't something I participate in.

I think it is important to make a distinction between racism and stereotypes. Stereotypes are a way of grouping people by certain physical, psychological and/or economic characteristics. Racism is the practice of using these sterotypes when they fall into racial categories as ways of supporting ideas of superiority or inferiority between the races. IOW, accepting stereotypes does not necessarily make someone a racist. Often stereotypes are based in reality, but they are more often innacurate overgeneralizations. And noticing differences does not make someone a racist.
 

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It seems racist to me, and it perpetuates some sexual mythology that I think is damaging to our culture at large.

armchair psychology moment: this says something about you.....perhaps you need to take a look within and examine your own conscious...
Did you mean consciousness? or conscience? I'm sorry, but I grow a little weary of the stand-up comedian routine where the dick joke is only a beat away, and then, there it is... from a person of color, or other. I won't even go into the psychology and popularity of the white sex trophy or the trophy wife. One grows accustomed to the roving eye and the subtext therein. I’ve learned to enjoy the fact that some things are pleasurable, other things are toxic. Generally, the two don’t really overlap too much, if all is well in the inner sanctum. One can't have these things both ways. Either racially spiced fetishes, racially charged humor, racially charged Rap music, racially charged fads of any kind that seek to either flatter or self-ingratiate - are indeed RACIST, or they're just simple expressions of human feeling midst the state of the culture... such as it is. I don’t claim to grasp the mechanical causes and effects of the fad that this thread is based on, but I wasn’t born yesterday. I can usually smell a rat, by now, at this age of mine. I don’t detect any specious hobby’s that are deleterious beyond the usual here.
 

rawbone8

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One observation I have is that there is a subset in that community where the husband or "cuckold" has a closeted gay or bisexual side and is in fact extremely turned on by engaging in a scenerio where he is having sex by proxy with another man.

In some cases the dominant wife would order him to blow the "bull" or would order him to eat the other man's ejaculate. The pretext that this is an act of humiliation ordered by his wife enables him to play with his fantasies without having to take ownership of them, and at the same time keeps him safely in denial on some level.

It seems like the woman is literally the bait to get some male action in their bedroom. Subs can really be pulling strings in ways that are not what they seem on the surface.
 

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One observation I have is that there is a subset in that community where the husband or "cuckold" has a closeted gay or bisexual side and is in fact extremely turned on by engaging in a scenerio where he is having sex by proxy with another man.

In some cases the dominant wife would order him to blow the "bull" or would order him to eat the other man's ejaculate. The pretext that this is an act of humiliation ordered by his wife enables him to play with his fantasies without having to take ownership of them, and at the same time keeps him safely in denial on some level.

It seems like the woman is literally the bait to get some male action in their bedroom. Subs can really be pulling strings in ways that are not what they seem on the surface.

From what I have read on the subject of the "modern" cuckold relationship this does seem to be an aspect of that lifestyle for many of the men. I am not sure whether cuckolding has always involved this bisexual aspect. That is because the anecdotal evidence for its history often avoids discussions of this subject.
 

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Lora says it is all about me! She really likes BBC (okay we both do) Why not I have 8" but she likes 10+.. After our last time with a black man we felt closer than ever and still do it is fantasy for both of us..
 

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One observation I have is that there is a subset in that community where the husband or "cuckold" has a closeted gay or bisexual side and is in fact extremely turned on by engaging in a scenerio where he is having sex by proxy with another man.

In some cases the dominant wife would order him to blow the "bull" or would order him to eat the other man's ejaculate. The pretext that this is an act of humiliation ordered by his wife enables him to play with his fantasies without having to take ownership of them, and at the same time keeps him safely in denial on some level.

It seems like the woman is literally the bait to get some male action in their bedroom. Subs can really be pulling strings in ways that are not what they seem on the surface.

I think that this is true in many, if not most, of cuckold situations. Having been in the cuck scene since Sept 2001 (1 week before Sept 11), I've come to realize that there is a strong bisexual element.

I have never been a victim of the bait-n-switch that you described. Every cuck that I've met was attracted to his wife. These cucks seemed to really get off on seeing her experience another man, especially a man who could give her huge orgasms. As one guy told me, "It's hotter than watching any porno."

From what I've seen, it's usually the husband who initiates a cuckold scene and not the "bored housewife." It seems that most "Bulls" are first contacted by the husbands and not the wives. I don't think that this shows a lack of willingness on the wife's behalf, but instead just a stronger desire on the husband's behalf -- many wives are indifferent to the situation and don't feel the sense of humiliation that the husband craves.

Cuckolding is the ultimate humiliation of a man, so it makes perfect sense that a submissive male would desire it. I don't think that it makes him gay, but there is definitely a bi element involved. A dominant bull will often tease the husband without mercy as he seduces his wife; chastizing him, commenting on his lack of sexual prowess, denying him sex, making him guide the bull in, making him "clean up" when they finish, etc.