What makes your Dad and husband masculine? There are good qualities in masculinity: Being strong, protective, tough, and the leader in situations.
but i think of more bad qualities: being the center of attention, hypersexual, stubborness/not asking for help out of fear of showing weakness, for of showing vulnerability in any way, loud, being stoic, and controlling.
Every one of those good qualities can be present also in women, every one of those bad qualities can be present in women also. None of those are particularly gender specific.
I see nothing wrong if a guy doesn't want to ask for directions or doesn't cry at the same movies i do. If i wanted a guy to be just like me, i would have settled down with another woman. Some of these positive attributes are what makes relationships grand. My Dad, father in law and husband are very quiet men, they don't fish, hunt or watch any sports....they are no less masculine to the people around them for it.
Why can't we appreciate our differences also instead of insisting we all be the same? The spice of life and many enjoyments come out of being different. I was scared to have a daughter, i didnt know how i would be with her. I didn't have any experience with female to female relationships. When i put ponytails in her hair, or buy her something very pretty...or see her love on her dolls and enjoy being a motherly type figure...its really beautiful. I smile and almost cry sometimes when i see that i didnt make her that way- she is who she is.
When i see my nephew play in the mud or pick up frogs and put them in his pocket, i just smile and say "That's a boy for ya!" These things don't have to be programmed or hammered into a person. Some things are the way they are. My daughter likes gross stuff also, but she is also very feminine all at the same time.
She yawns just like my mom, sneezes like me, smiles like me but i hope she'd be left handed like me and have brown eyes but she didnt. Many things that make us who we are also have to do with things we have no control over.
You are from a generation that is teaching everyone to be so gender neutral that we can't even enjoy being a man or being a woman. There are multiple marriages i see in my life that are sheer hell because the female treats everyone in the household like shit. I see their husbands bow down and cater to them constantly, overly apologetic over things that wouldn't offend most people. They almost flinch if you move too quickly- women are JUST as likely to be complete tyrants and dictators to live with.
Who cares if a guy is stoic? I know females who are more rigid, militant and loud than most men i know. I think why i am not happy about some of the stuff i get in my inbox here at lpsg is that i would say 90% of men would never voice those things in my presence. If they are thinking it, they alteast have the decency to not tell me about it. And perception is reality, if you can control your thoughts by not behaving on them if they are destructive, then you are a pretty good person in life and probably aren't making people feel worthless.