Are gay guys only into sex?

baimbyte

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I want to share something here.

Few months ago I used to now a younger guy in his 20s. Met him online but to me he is just a friend. At first he was extremely friendly sending me his pictures but none of them x-rated. But I only sent him one pic only. For a few weeks everything was fine until I found out that he is overtly sensitive. Everything went slow...then.....nada...I sent him emails asking him how he was doing but he never replied...angry...silent treatment.... Not interested anymore.i don't know...but one that freaked me out when he said he wanted to fuck me.....a hookup?....is that how most of gay guys operate? Sex..sex..sex...


I know sex is essential someway but do we always think with our small head? Personally I have no experience in any sort of relationship. So I could not really comment on that. I'm not generalizing or bad mouthing gays but I'm just curious.....


What say you?
 

D_22

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First off, he's still young and hormones are still rampant, second don't judge a whole group by one or a few people. One can say the same that ALL guys that age is looking for a hook up. People have different priorities depending on that person.
 
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baimbyte

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First off, he's still young and hormones are still rampant, second don't judge a whole group by one or a few people. One can say the same that ALL guys that age is looking for a hook up. People have different priorities depending on that person.

I agree with you.... But it is all about perception....
 

concupisys

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it's not all about sex, but it can be depending on the context in which you meet other gay guys.... if you met this guy on a hookup site, then you can only expect that you're going to be meeting under a sexual context.... that's why it's a hookup site.... if you met him on a friendship/dating site, then your chances of remaining friendly and just taking it slow are much better....

some guys don't understand the concept of context, and run the risk of overstepping boundaries depending on how the conversation is going.... i will say though: if all you're doing is sending photos and gawking at each other, then said boundaries are much easier to cross than if you were just having straight up conversation.... it gets easier to read in to the more you use the internet to meet guys, and you'll eventually find a website that will best suit your purposes....

don't sweat it though: i've found that no metter the website, you'll meet a lot of duds before you meet someone actually worth knowing....
 

baimbyte

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it's not all about sex, but it can be depending on the context in which you meet other gay guys.... if you met this guy on a hookup site, then you can only expect that you're going to be meeting under a sexual context.... that's why it's a hookup site.... if you met him on a friendship/dating site, then your chances of remaining friendly and just taking it slow are much better....

some guys don't understand the concept of context, and run the risk of overstepping boundaries depending on how the conversation is going.... i will say though: if all you're doing is sending photos and gawking at each other, then said boundaries are much easier to cross than if you were just having straight up conversation.... it gets easier to read in to the more you use the internet to meet guys, and you'll eventually find a website that will best suit your purposes....

don't sweat it though: i've found that no metter the website, you'll meet a lot of duds before you meet someone actually worth knowing....

Wow, it is a very good explanation. Most of the apps you find nowadays are hookup app therefore it mostly concentrate on how getting laid. I think they are few good 'friendship' sites but still we could come across guys who are actually looking for hookups... Kinda funny actually.


But hey, you do sound nice though. :)
 
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bigbull29

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In the gay scene - yes, it's all about using each other for SEX! Stay out of it if you are looking for just genuine friendships, unless you are going into it just for the eye candy, music, sex, etc. As we say in French: "âmes sentimentales à s'abstenir" (about the gay scene).
 
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vMike

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I've always asked myself the same question straight people (specially women) wonder:

Can a man be really be friends with a woman? (without any sexual tension at all)

In this case: Can any gay guy be really be friends with any other gay guy without there being any sexual tension from even one of them?
 

Braxilpde

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My best friend in the world is gay and there's definitely no sexual tension there. Although in the interest of full disclosure....we did date from age 19-27 =) I'm 31 now and honestly the expectation of sex turns me off of dating. That's in no way a judgement of the scene or culture but maybe an aftereffect of all the anonymous sex in my early 20s.
 
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malakos

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It's not a gay thing. It's a guy thing.

I agree with that in part. The shallow, casual, callous, and promiscuous approach to sex one can observe being common among Gay men (I suppose one could argue my perspective is skewed by living most of my life near San Francisco) is probably a certain track that male sexuality will take given certain conditions/circumstances. Of the heterosexual men I have known, I haven't encountered this attitude as frequently. I suspect this is in large part because of the different sexual culture and expectations one tends to find among "straight" people. Gay sexual culture is in large part founded on liberty and bucking of traditional norms. Perhaps if this culture spread more to young heterosexuals they would become equally as inclined to the libertine approach to sex (not that I am promoting that as an ideal).
 

Brodie888

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I agree with that in part. The shallow, casual, callous, and promiscuous approach to sex one can observe being common among Gay men (I suppose one could argue my perspective is skewed by living most of my life near San Francisco) is probably a certain track that male sexuality will take given certain conditions/circumstances. Of the heterosexual men I have known, I haven't encountered this attitude as frequently. I suspect this is in large part because of the different sexual culture and expectations one tends to find among "straight" people. Gay sexual culture is in large part founded on liberty and bucking of traditional norms. Perhaps if this culture spread more to young heterosexuals they would become equally as inclined to the libertine approach to sex (not that I am promoting that as an ideal).

That hasn't been my experience. Growing up, all my male straight friends have been equally single minded in the pursuit of having as much sex as possible.

I have found the limiting factor has been the women in heterosexual couples. For women, there seems to be this double standard that being sexually promiscuous is shameful and "slutty", yet men who do the same are revered and "studs". I used to go to bars and watch this behaviour over and over again. I do really feel sorry for straight men for all the ground work they need to do in order to have sex.

If you look at lesbian relationships, they tend to go deep and monogamous much more often than all other combinations.