Are gay men scared of settling down?

[wsnki07]

A good friend of mine married his husband last year. I also seen a few of my gay friends settling down with their partners. I think it's tempting to get jaded over time, especially with app culture that encourages instant gratification. I do believe in law of attraction and I think that surrounding yourself with the right people and right mindset can make it very possible to settle down. The question is whether someone can break out of their endless cycles to try that road.

 

[Barberseville]

I see quite a few gay men I know settling down with their partners in marriage or civil ceremonies, and then behaving exactly like their heterosexual equivalents and embarking on other relationships often of a short one night stand nature. One Aussie of my acquaintance was married this week, but is still planning to hook up when he travels for work, which is how I met him. He has been with his partner for 17 years. Another man I met was fathering a child through a surrogate with his husband, but was still very happy to have a mutual blow job with me.

The Calvin Coolidge Effect is well studied in many species. This is whereby males exhibit renewed sexual interest if introduced to new receptive sexual partners, even after cessation of sex with prior but still available sexual partners. This effect can be attributed to an increase in sexual responsiveness, and a decrease in the refractory period. The evolutionary benefit to this phenomenon is that a male can fertilize multiple partners.The male may be reinvigorated repeatedly for successful insemination of multiple partners. Many bi and straight men attribute their waning marital sex lives as the trigger to infidelity.

 

[1141702]

I’m sure it’s difficult for people in the closet even though they may want to.

 

[malakos]

- Unrealistic expectations (body image, salary, etc.)
- Ageism and older men liking younger men (did you really think this would work?)
- Internalized homophobia
- Masc 4 Masc
- Masc vs. Fem
- Racism
- Societal pressures

I gave you 7 reasons why gay men don’t settle down and if they do, 99% of the time he relationship is a joke.

Well aren't you just a ray of sunshine?

 

[igotthebigone]

It depends on the person

 

[1141702]

It depends on the person

Makes sense. Lol

 

[902369]

Well aren't you just a ray of sunshine?

Lol I was just telling the truth. It’s sad because marriage makes people live longer.

 

[malakos]

Lol I was just telling the truth. It’s sad because marriage makes people live longer.

Well, at least we agree on the value of committed relationships...

Your remarks just sounded overly pessimistic to me. But that may be relative to different experiences. I have friends who are in serious relationships, and they're far from perfect, but they're also not nearly as bad as the image you shared.

 

[Auggiecakes]

I live in New York, which is a city with a lot of people and endless possibilities in the gay dating scene. However, even if going on dates is easy, finding someone who is willing to commit, consider a long term relationship or at least exclusivity while dating is hard. Sometimes seems like gay men are always looking for the next best guy, or they just don't want to miss the single life and all the possibilities.

Why do you thing is so hard to find someone willing to settle down? Are gay men scared of monogamy or commitment?

It's been my experience that gay men compete too much and when i say this, I mean about everything, jobs, body, and who they sleep with. Ive been on plenty of dates where the guys tries to one up me and honestly I've walked out on them. Why the need to try and prove that you are better? like who cares? You want a rich model that will do anything you ask them to, then you need to buy a VR set and jerk off at home.