Are gays assimalating?

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by arkfarmbear, Aug 30, 2010.

  1. arkfarmbear

    arkfarmbear New Member

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    Yesterday I read an interview with George Duroy, the owner of Bel Ami video studios.
    He was asked about "straight" actors and various other topics, all related to where he sees "gay" as going in the future.
    He said he is seeing a situation in which gays are increasingly assimilated into mainstream society. The need or desire to only live in the classical gay settings is waning. He said he especially is noticing this in the under 30 set.
    He laughed and said he had no way of proving someone's real orientation but he actually sees straight identified guys as more enthusiastic and energetic when acting in his man-on-man sex videos! He said Corbin Fisher and Sean Cody tell him the same thing.
    He also said he is seeing more straight guys seeking to work for his company in roles related to administration, distribution and management.
    He moved the hdqrtrs of his company to Prague during the Bush/Cheney Regime but the bulk of his revenue continues to come from the US and he spends a lot of time here, too.
    On LPSG I've also noticed many "straight" guys who seem to be very comfortable in their claimed orientation while having sex with guys.
    I'm from the old, in many respects, unfortunately, school in which if you have sex with guys you are gay, regardless of whether or not you say so.
    While having this rigid stance, I've also stated that sexual orientation is defined as "preference". And, in my personal life I've had long-term, loving sexual relationships with both men and women. I didn't switch from straight to gay but have gone back and forth.
    Feedback, please.
     
  2. minimag

    minimag Active Member

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    Some will assimate, some won't. Some dudes are just too fem to keep from prancing around with a stiff-arm sachet like he's queen of the faire. Some women will continue to wear mullets and dress like lumberjacks. Aren't stereotypes fun? :p Resistance is futile.
     
    #2 minimag, Aug 30, 2010
    Last edited: Aug 30, 2010
  3. sykray

    sykray Active Member

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    Despite my age, I've always thought that sexuality is quite fluid rather than rigidly compartmentalised. This has been borne out in 35+ years of being a sex therapist and psychotherapist dealing with sexual concerns.
    The Internet also makes it clear that in anonymous revelation many men now feel able to admit to some degree of same-sex interest or activity.
     
  4. B_Tonnie

    B_Tonnie New Member

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    DUE TO MY WORK, BASED BETWEEN AUSTRALIA/NEW ZEALAN


    :smile::smile: I Love This, And It's Very TRUE.:smile:
     
  5. Bbucko

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    First of all, I'd take my cues on sociology from a pornographer with a hefty grain of salt. Their basis of comparison to larger society is more than a bit skewed.

    Having said that, I do find that assimilationism is increasingly becoming the norm, though to what degree it's a trend toward the future versus a momentary fad remains to be seen. The older someone is, the less likely he'll be flexible enough to expand from a segregated world of straight/gay into the larger picture of some sort of general Pansexuality, and I'm unclear as to how far true Pan has expanded beyond certain aspects of the fetish/BDSM community into the world at large.

    So if the question is whether or not younger people (males, specifically) will feel increasingly comfortable embracing a fluid approach rather than the traditional gay/bi/str8 paradigm remains to be seen. My gut tells me that the closet will shrink (somewhat) but will always be with us.

    If the question is whether or not young people (both male and female) are rejecting traditional hetero-normative ways of thinking, then the response is overwhelmingly yes. I believe that the era of denying LGBTs their full civil equality is slowly ebbing away in much of the world, though it remains stubbornly in place in others. This is a generational thing and the battles are far from over. But respecting my integrity as a person is not the same as experimenting with one's own sexuality.

    If the question is whether or not young LGBTs are seeking full assimilation (with or without a tacit recognition of "different but equal"), I think it's really always been that way, and it's been straight society that has prevented such from occurring. There is nothing more traditionally bourgeois than marriage, and that, along with being able to serve openly in the armed forces are the front-lines of civil rights concerns (at least in the US: they are already non-issues in many other parts of the world). If anyone had asked me when I was 20 whether or not I considered those two examples integral to my personal enfranchisement into society, I would have said "hell no!" :rolleyes:

    I know that I'm a dinosaur in this regard, but I've always felt that the true power and meaning of being gay was in my ability to live outside the boundaries of respectability and thrive, with pride. The fact that so few younger people even understand the rationale, let alone espouse it, is a result of decades of assimilation that have already taken place.
     
  6. cklover

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    Fluid shmuid..after 35+ years of being around hetero men and being (homo)sexually active with fellow homos, I rather consider these fluid/continuum theories balderdash and half-baked loaves of political correctness and gay men's wishful thinking:rolleyes:.
     
  7. minimag

    minimag Active Member

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    I won't make fun of a man for being gay, but I WILL make fun of any "man" prancing around town in skinny-jeans whether he is gay, emo, or hipster. :D Where are you supposed to put your "junk" in those things??
     
  8. Charles Finn

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    in your fanny pack silly man
     
  9. B_dxjnorto

    B_dxjnorto New Member

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    I tend to agree with what sykray says. However, guys my age are still pretty sly about it because of the era and culture we were raised in. Something as innocuous as even holding the hand of a very good friend or putting a head on a shoulder in affection are nearly the same social cues as getting a rainbow flag out and waving it around. That's why some guys go full-on queen because you're damned nearly the same for mere affection. In many ways there's more acceptance for queeny behavior because you are "out," and everyone can breathe a sigh of relief because they can employ their stereotypical acceptance or rejection.

    I have a few friends who I know view men as attractive and form infatuations with other men. But it's just too much trouble to modify lifetime self-image.
     
  10. ericbythebay

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    Why would I want to assimilate? I don't need the approval of heterosexuals and I like my Castro lifestyle.
     
  11. willow78

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    I think George Duroy is confusing assimilation with acceptance. Assimilate loosely means to accept/follow the social customs and norms and culture of the people around you - acceptance is when you can feel included without having to change who you are, what you are or how you behave. Acceptance towards gays is slowly (very slowly) increasing but I still think we have a long way to go and a lot of non-gay society still expects us to conform to one gay stereotype or another.

    And as for his comments about straight actors being more enthusiastic, any fool could tell him it's because they're just gay-for-pay whores thinking about the big bucks they're getting - the big bucks they could never get doing straight porn.

    I agree with Bbucko - relying on porn for social commentary is hardly a good idea. There is absolutely no way porn reflects reality in the slightest - if you expect it to, you are going to end up with a very skewed and unhealthy view of the real world.
     
    #11 willow78, Aug 31, 2010
    Last edited: Aug 31, 2010
  12. nudeyorker

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    I think George Duroy, Corbin Fisher and Sean Cody are quite simply trying to sell more of their videos by maintaining and promoting what they have been marketing... that straight guys have gay sex. It's a fun fantasy but oddly all the straight guys I know sleep with woman.
     
  13. TomCat84

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    Look, I have no problem with guys having sex with dudes and calling themselves straight. It doesn't make it so, however.
     
  14. luka82

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    I agree.
     
  15. runningwoof

    runningwoof New Member

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    If I read this right, your question isn't whether or not gay men are assimilating to a straight lifestyle, but whether straight men are assimilating to a gay lifestyle. And I think assimilation is the wrong word. In general, I think people may just be getting more comfortable with their sexuality and the more secure you are, the more you realize that sex with a man or woman or both does not make you evil or a bad person. So if it feels good and doesn't hurt anyone, why the hell not!

    Not sure if I made any sense there.
     
  16. B_dxjnorto

    B_dxjnorto New Member

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    It is interesting commentary though, but maybe doesn't cross cultural boundaries. As in may be becoming more normative in Czech culture, but not necessarily apply everywhere or anywhere.
     
  17. Brick7

    Brick7 Active Member

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    Gays have always assimilated. We've always "passed" for straight for eons. And now we're becoming passé? Puh-leeze. Where has George Duroy been?
    He says "The need or desire to only live in the classical gay settings is waning." Nice work if you can get it, but that ain't the real world. In fact, I'd say only a minority of the gay population has ever lived in classical gay settings. The rest lived amongst the straights, again, for eons. And now straights are...gasp...working in the gay porn/sex industry? Psst...George...they're called bisexuals, not straights.
    Now if he wants to discuss how gay culture has been assimilated into society at large, now I think we have something to talk about. Worldwide homogeny will happen...eventually. It's where we're all headed. Technology is spurring that on quicker than I thought possible. Is this a good thing or a bad thing? Will our "specialness" of being gay...our uniqueness...also fade away? And is that a bad thing?
    We'll see...
     
  18. latinluva

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    I think when you're young you can tell yourself anything and believe it. But the fact that these guys have raging hard ons and are anally accepting tell me that they enjoy it. Now I am not much for labels, but if you enjoy great sex then so be it. As long as it's legal, it is what it is.
     
  19. matt1018

    matt1018 New Member

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    I think assimilation may be the wrong word (I think someone else mentioned this too).. Assimilating implies one social group, usually a minority group, conforming to the norms of the majority social group. Whats happening right now isn't so much the LGBT community "going straight" and conforming to the lifestyle of the majority of the population. If anything this is what we had in the past where it was much more common to see gays and lesbians closeted for life and live essentially a lie in an attempt to "be normal", conform and assimilate into the "traditional life style"... A better word than assimilate would be acceptance I guess. Being gay is much more acceptable today than it was just 15 or even 10 years ago. Don't get me wrong there still is a long way to go till there is full acceptance but it can't be denied that their has been some rapid improvements in our lifetime (and I say this as someone whose still pretty young.. I remember in my childhood what a big deal it was to just have a gay character on primetime tv and now there seems to be a gay character on like half of all broadcast tv shows).

    And I think the movement towards total acceptance will continue to progress almost exponentially. Gays and Lesbians now feel like they can live a happy and safe life outside of San Francisco, New York and West Hollywood so don't feel the need, as maybe in the past they did, to live in these "gay centers" if they want to live an open life..This is a good thing I think. The more that "everyday middle Americans" are exposed to LGBT individuals the more accepting I think people will become. Gays won't be this hidden corrupting force from the evil cities trying to corrupt their children. There are always going to be crazy bigots but I think society as a hole is moving quickly towards acceptance and while it may not be as quick as a lot of us would like it to be, I'm just glad its moving in the right direction. It really is a generational thing I think, even more so than a red state, blue state thing. Almost everyone in my age group I know, regardless of political affiliation, has no problem with gay rights and gay marriage whereas the opposite is true of older generations. I don't want to stereotype, i know there are many older people that are strong supporters of gay rights but generally this is just how it is. So has my generation comes into power I am confidant that the progress will continue.
     
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