Are Great Lovers Born or Made?

Discussion in 'Sex With a Large Penis' started by earllogjam, Aug 13, 2007.

  1. earllogjam

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Aug 15, 2006
    Messages:
    5,027
    Likes Received:
    21
    Can you teach a bad lover to be sensual?

    It seems like some people just are better lovers innately than others. I think you can learn a few techniques along the way but I think that the essence of sensuality: timing, reading the other person's desires, rhythm, tenderness, force...etc - you either have it or you don't. It is similar to dancing in my book.

    Why are some lovers just better?
     
  2. B_cyrus

    B_cyrus New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 7, 2007
    Messages:
    75
    Likes Received:
    0
    I used to be really rough when surprise sexing women but now I take special care to avoid leaving any permanent injuries or scars- physical ones, at least.

    So yes, people can learn to be more considerate lovers.
     
  3. jeff black

    jeff black <img border="0" src="/images/badges/gold_member.gi

    Joined:
    Mar 2, 2006
    Messages:
    11,866
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    14
    Location:
    CANADA
    I think there are people out there, who were just..well, great lovers.

    The rest of the world has to learn. However, unless you have a great teacher, how can you learn?:smile:
     
  4. earllogjam

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Aug 15, 2006
    Messages:
    5,027
    Likes Received:
    21
    There was a thread here a while back on "Are Dancers Better at Sex?" and in some respects I think it may be true because they are more in tune with their bodies and how they work and what brings them pleasure. In the same vein I think masseurs are better sex partners also because they can "read" bodies. They practice being sensual and take great pride it that kind of intelligence.

    The thing about learing about how to be a better lover is that you need to be told that are a bad lover before realizing that you need improvment. How many sex partners ever tell each other they suck at making love?
     
  5. SlimGuySB

    SlimGuySB New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 25, 2007
    Messages:
    336
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Santa Barbara, CA
    Dude, you have to learn that there are just one or two topics that really aren't up for joking about. You may think that your euphamism makes it funny to joke about rape, but, well, it isn't. Please give it up - put your wit to work on something less offensive please?
     
  6. SpoiledPrincess

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Dec 28, 2006
    Messages:
    8,167
    Likes Received:
    29
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    england
    I think some people have a deeper understanding of sexuality and a natural talent when it comes to sex, but I believe anyone who's willing to listen and learn can learn to be a fantastic lover.
     
  7. seahorses

    seahorses Member

    Joined:
    Mar 31, 2006
    Messages:
    951
    Likes Received:
    2
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    UK
    I don&#8217;t think there&#8217;s anyone who is a great lover from the outset (born), can be made a great lover, or has a one size fit all love technique. I feel that great lovers develop over time and have certain qualities. Exactly what qualities, I&#8217;m not sure, but feel they must include: patience, understanding and the ability to read other people. Also the ability to judge a great lover requires qualities in its own right, possibly from another great lover.
     
  8. Oilslickcowboy

    Oilslickcowboy New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 3, 2007
    Messages:
    24
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Too far South
    On one hand I want to say they are born, during the course of my first sexual encounter, which was with a far more experienced girl, she stopped me 10 mins into it and said "Your such a fucking liar you're not a virgin" to which I responded "Up until 10 mins ago I was." But I think it's more of a finding the right match thing. What one person may enjoy someone else may hate. If you are naturally prone to hard and fast and find a girl who likes hard and fast you are a good natural lover, but if she prefers slow and smooth you're just a jackhammering jackass. I guess I'd say good lovers can be born but great lovers must educated.
     
  9. earllogjam

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Aug 15, 2006
    Messages:
    5,027
    Likes Received:
    21
    Reading these posts brings me to the next relevant question - What is a great lover?

    I'm not sure if it is very different from each person to person.

    - Eliciting heightened sexual pleasure in your partner.
    - The ability to get your partner to climax at the right time
    - Afterglow
    - Arousing feelings of intimacy
    - Full body arousal - not just genital centered sex
    - Creativity and suprise in lovemaking
     
  10. dongalong

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jul 2, 2004
    Messages:
    5,301
    Likes Received:
    1,735
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Paris (FR)
    Like Jeff Black mentioned, I think that many good lovers have experienced great sex with a good sex teacher in their past and have learned that being generous is indispenible if they want to receive at least an equal amount of pleasure. A few times I have had to undo bad techniques that my new lovers had learned from their past partners and teach them the right way to do things. Willingness to learn, communicate and please are always the sign of a great lover to me. An open mind and creativity would take her beyond great in my opinion - I'm still looking for one like that!

    Physical condition and attributes also play an important part in how much stimulation can be achieved (think big cock, tight pussy, deep throat etc.)
     
  11. B_Think_Kink

    B_Think_Kink New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 25, 2006
    Messages:
    10,742
    Likes Received:
    17
    Gender:
    Female
    Made
    Boys are born to tease and taught to please.
     
  12. whatireallywant

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jun 4, 2007
    Messages:
    3,587
    Likes Received:
    7
    Gender:
    Female
    I've had sex with a masseur. Nope, he wasn't all that good... gave good massages, but the sex was not so great.
     
  13. B_ScaredLittleBoy

    B_ScaredLittleBoy New Member

    Joined:
    Feb 24, 2007
    Messages:
    3,337
    Likes Received:
    8
    I think some people have instinctive sexual prowess and drive. Like...yours truly for instance :tongue:

    I'd say a good lover is one that can last awhile, of course there are other factors. You have to be willing to do the work and find the sensitive areas. Not just give the pussy two rubs then ram it in.

    Anyway, to answer the question: I was born to be made into a great lover :cool:
     
  14. Jovial

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2006
    Messages:
    2,404
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    5
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    CA
    Everyone is born a great lover. Society makes a lot of people feel guilty or uncomfortable with sex, so they become bad lovers. Maybe that's not entirely true. But I do think if someone is smart enough to learn new things, and wants to learn to be a great lover, they probably can be. The ability to be able to imagine yourself inside your lover's body and imagine what they are feeling helps. (What's that called, empathy?)

    haha...good point. Everyone learns how sex is supposed to go from their past experiences, and will repeat the mistakes until someone corrects them. It's a good thing to keep in mind when with a new lover.
     
  15. B_andyo

    B_andyo New Member

    Joined:
    Apr 18, 2007
    Messages:
    2,009
    Likes Received:
    4
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Miami
    born...
     
  16. sdg475

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jan 31, 2007
    Messages:
    648
    Albums:
    3
    Likes Received:
    238
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    NYC
    Verified:
    Photo
    I think anyone can learn to be good at physical/technical aspect of sex, but feelings and sensuality, the more unexplainable parts that I am having difficulty putting to words can not be taught.
     
  17. chico8

    chico8 New Member

    Joined:
    Feb 23, 2006
    Messages:
    761
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Chico
    I think our parents are probably the biggest predictor of what we are like as lovers. If we grow up in a loving environment, it's a lot easier to be loving.

    Being a great lover isn't about sex.
     
  18. Aplus

    Aplus New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 22, 2005
    Messages:
    554
    Likes Received:
    1
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Ohio
    I can't put it into words either, but I do believe I know what you mean. I disagree though. I believe most anyone can be taught and/or teach themselves to be truly sexual. Most probably don't want or need to be, are too stubborn to, or simply lack the patience. I do suspect a small percentage are born, but most are made.
     
  19. Divine1

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    May 14, 2006
    Messages:
    1,206
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    36
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    New England
    Sexual orientation...born.

    Sexual urge....born.

    Sexual effectiveness....definitely learned. I think we all can say that we are better today than our 1st clumsy time in the back seat of a chevy with Betty Lou Rotten Crotch in high school.
     
  20. Fire Agate

    Fire Agate New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 12, 2007
    Messages:
    597
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    probably a little bit of both:wink:
     
Draft saved Draft deleted